Confessions of a Bulk Eater

First of all it’s Monday.  Monday’s suck just because they are Mondays.   Second of all, I’ve been thinking about my dad all day and trying to not burst into tears.  I have a tendancy to blow things out of proportion and create my own scenarios.  He hasn’t even seen the oncologist yet.  Not until tomorrow.  I have to stop thinking about it until I actually get some prognosis.  Then I can freak out.   But today, that’s all I could think about.  I wasn’t even hungry at lunchtime, but I ate anyway.  I didn’t want too.  I asked myself “Why eat? You aren’t even hungry.”  But I did.  *sigh*

Then I get a call this afternoon from my daughter’s daycare that she was running a fever of 101.3.   Great.  Called the doctor’s office and got her an appointment.  Yeah, she has the croup.  Great.  That meant mommy’s not cooking dinner because I’m dealing with a clingy one year old.   So DH went and got subs. 

Life gets in the way of weight loss plans.  I hate it.    So I am going to **attempt** to figure out how many points I consumed today.

• Amy’s Tofu Scramble - 7pts
• Vegetable Lasagne - 6pts
• TLC granola bar - 2pts
• 1/2 veggie sub w/ cheese - 6pts

So that’s 21 points right there.  I also had some BLT’s (that’s weight watcher code for Bites, Licks, and Tastes.)   I had a few bites of the Peanut Butter Noodles I made my daughter.  A few bites of the baked Cheetos DH brought home.   Oh yeah, and a tortiall with some hummus.  Not too bad, I guess.    Yeah right, who am I kidding?  Monday’s suck.

So my weigh in on Friday wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be.  I 0nly lost .4lbs.  Still a loss, but not real condusive to my goal of losing 14lbs in 3 weeks.   I don’t think I am going to make it.  In fact, I KNOW I’m not going to make it.  But I’ll keep trying.   My eating hasn’t been great this week.  It hasn’t been bad.   Veggie sub for lunch yesterday, veggie lasagne and DDR + Volleyball yesterday.   Today I went to Tijuana Flats for lunch and had bean tacos.  Then a Lean Cuisine for supper.  I haven’t tracked any points this weekend. 

I bought a dance pad for DDR today.  It has a workout mode that tracks how many calories you burn each time.  I’m excited about that. 

Recieved some bad news today.  My dad called and told me that he had been to the doctor and they have found some tumors on his prostate.  He goes to an oncologist on Tuesday to get his/her opinion.  His normal doctor thinks that it is in a very early stage and that it is the tumors have not spread to other organs.  My dad lives in CA so this is sort of difficult.  He is so far away and I can’t even be with him during this time. 

why does it seem like I can do so well for a week or so and then totally sabatoge myself when I have a losing streak going?  I didn’t doo TOO bad today.  I think it’s the thpes of things I’m eating though.  See for yourself:

• 3/4 C Special K Chocolatey Delight cereal w/ 1/2 C f/f milk - 3pts
• 1 C brown rice - 4pts
• 1 egg roll - 4pts
• 5 bites of Ma Po Tofu (it wasn’t that good so I’m guesstimating) - 5pts
• Wan Ton Soup - not sure, but maybe 4pts
• Califlower Dal - 3pts
• Hummus - 2 pts
• 1 too many f/f tortillas - 5pts

So once again, I’m over my daily points, but I still have some of my 35 flex points left so I’m still doing okay.  I don’t want to be okay though, I want to do GREAT

On a separate note, husband bought our XBOX 360 and he bought me Dance Dance Revolution (DDR BABY!!)  Now I just need to get a mat.  This way if I don’t take a walk, I can still excerise at home.  Or even if I do go for a walk, I can still excerise for even more calorie burining!!  I can’t wait..  I love DDR!!  I have no rhythm and I’m a total white girl, but it’s still fun.  A friend of mine danced a total of 5 miles in 45 minutes last night!!  I can’t wait.

Why do they suck?  Because I get to the middle of the week and all reslove goes out the window.  I am tired, I’m startgin to feel sick, and I have no motivation to cook.  All I want to do when I get home from work is plop my ass on the couch and not move.   Not so easy with 2 kids, but I want to do as little as possible.   So when I saw that today was Dover Shores night at Papa Johns (15% goes to my son’s elementary school), that clinched it for me.  I don’t even like Papa Johns.  So here’s the damage for today:

• Peanut Butter and Banana Waffle - 5pts
• Veggie Burrito with Cilantro Sauce - 4pts
• 1 f/f tortilla with 1/2 C f/f refried beans - 2pts
• 1 f/f tortilla - 1pt

And that’s when I lost track….   that got me through the work day with a total of 12 points (so 14pts left).  I went for a walk to pick my son up and then it all went downhill.    I ate chips before the pizza got to the house.   Then I ate 2 breadsticks and 2 pieces of pizza.  That is actually the least amount of pizza I think I have ever eaten.  I usually eat quite a bit more (see post from a few Saturdays ago) but I started to feel sick.  Once I got the kids into bed, I felt like I still wanted to eat.  Am I hungry?  No.  I just wanted to eat.  So I just ate a Lemonade Girl Scout cookie and a graham cracker with peanut butter.

I don’t think I have gone over my weekly flex points, but I have definitely used them all.  That means I have to stick to my food plan for the rest of the week.  

Today was an okay day.   I went over my alloted points, but that’s okay.  I have 35 extra flex points per week.  I also went for a walk again tonight.   I’m 2 for 2 this week.  My goal is to walk every day.  I am also going to start using my resistance bands on my arms to firm up these wings.  I want to at least look tight in a tank top.

• 1 C Raisin Bran w/ 1/2 C f/f milk - 4pts
• Quaker snacks - 1pt
• 1/2 C brown rice - 2pts
• White Bean and Garlic Stew - 4pts
• Chocolate Raspberry Luna Bar - 4pts
• Veggie Burritos with Cilantro Sauce - 4pts
• 1/2 C f/f spicy refried beans - 1pt
• Sour Cream and Cheddar chips (they got to me, Pam) - 4pts
• 3/4 C Special K Chocolatey Delight cereal w/ 1/2 C f/f milk -3pts

Total of 27 points (unless my math is wrong).  So I’m down to 36 weekly flex points.  I ususally try not to use them, or only use one or two.  I’m wondering though if I should use them more and speed up my metabolism.

Why do cookbooks and cookbook authors with blogs not post nutritional analysis for their recipes?!  This is one of my absolute pet peeves.  There are so many cookbooks out there i would buy, but I refuse to do so because there is no nutritional information in them.   I wonder how many other people refuse to buy them?  I wonder how much money these authors are losing because they do not include that information.   The software is out there.  It wouldn’t be difficult to get the info and put it in their books.   Or on their blogs!  Perhaps they’d sell even MORE books if they would include the information on their websites!   I’m sure that people trying to lose weight wouldn’t be the only people to benefit from this.  Plenty of people try to watch their sodium intake, or calories, or fiber, or whatever!!

In this day in age, when everyone is concerned about the obesity of America, you would think something like that would be required!   There wouldn’t be limits.   But put the information out there so people can make up their minds what to make or not make.   For instance, plenty of people probably make Rachel Ray recipes. I don’t because I can tell just by looking at the ingredients that there is more fat than I want in them, but it would be nice to know for sure what it is.  I may be surprised.  But instead, I refuse to buy her books.   I have a vegan book right now with an awesome looking carrot cake in it that I would LOVE to make, but there isn’t any nutritional information.   I’m sure it would be more calories and fat than I would want, but I would still make it and be able to be fully informed about my consumption.

Okay, I’m done.  Time to get off the soap box.

So today wasn’t bad foodwise.  It could have been much worse.  I stayed up way too late last night reading so I was trying not to fall asleep at my desk all day.  Usually when that happens I pack the food in.  Anything to stay awake.  Not so today.  And even though I could hardly stay awake, I still went on a walk this afternoon.   Of course I got some frustrating news when I picked up my son.  He was in his after school program all day since there was no school.  Without going into gory details, he is suspended for one day so he can’t go back tomorrow.   Anyway, here is today’s food:

• Amy’s Vegan Breakfast Burrito - 5pts
• Lean Cuisine Butternut Squash Ravioli (my absolute favorite) - 7pts
• Quaker Snacks - 2pts
• 2 pcs organic dark chocolate - 2pts
• 1 C Progresso Southwestern Style Soup - 0pts
• Yummy Yummy White Bean and Garlic Stew - 4pts
• 1/2 C brown rice - 2pts
• 3/4 C Special K Chocolate Delight cereal - 2pts
• 1/2 C fat free milk - 1pt

So I’m at 25 points right now.  I’m hungry.  I could eat.  There is a bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles sitting in my pantry from the boys’ dinner last night.   I want so badly to go and just eat chips until they are gone.  I can taste them.  But I am going to bed as soon as I sign off of here.   For one it will stop me from eating.  Two, I’m so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open.

I have to find a way to beat the weekends without losing the spontenity the weekend can bring.  Yesterday I went and ate lunch with a friend, and I purposefully at something bad.  I knew where we were going and I knew it would be bad.  I met her at an awesome Mexican restaurant and I got the same thing I always do…  NACHOS SUPREMOS!  But I did get it without any of the meat… only beans.   And I only ate about half of it.  Usually I eat the whole thing.  And that was about the only thing I ate all day.  I just wasn’t hungry after that.  I did share some yummy yummy desserts with my husband at this Valentine Dance and Dessert our church hosted last night. 

Today we went to Sonic for breakfast and then we went to a pizza joint for lunch.  I got 2 slices of greasy white pizza.  UGH.  I feel sick now.  I need to make a grocery list and go to the store because we have NOTHING in the house to eat.  That’s what happens when there is no food in the house….we eat out.   So I will have to stay right on to food plan this coming week and try to exercise more than I do so I can lose some more and get closer to my 200 goal for my trip.

Friday was weigh in day.  I am down 2.6lbs.  Two weeks ago, the scale read 217.  Friday it read 214.4.  YAY!!!  I was happy with that.  That’s 2.6lbs closer to where I want to be.  That of course is 14.4 lbs from where I want to be in 4 weeks, but if I keep doing that, I could be close.   My pants are starting to fit a little differently too.  That is my main goal.  Being able to get into the closet full of clothes that I haven’t been able to wear since I became pregnant 2 years ago.  I look at them a lot, but am yet to get in them.

This is like the never ending Friday!  It’s only 2:30.  I feel like I have been at work FOREVER!  I just want to go home.  Blah………………………………………….