up and down

so today and the past few days have been up and down.

The good:

I lost weight! yeyyy.. down to 115.8 again.

I’ve been following my diet “healthy eating lifestyle” fairly closely

I’ve been exercising again

The bad:

I saw that my previous ex’s that I was in a relationship are now both in happy relationships (via Facebook). I don’t love or even like them but there is that flare of jealously in me. Why could they move on and be happy and I still haven’t? I’m use to being alone so it doesn’t bother me too much.. but thinking about running into them with their significant other gives me enough incentive to stay inside.

I’m so confused about everything. uni, work, relationships.. just everything.I’m happy that so far it hasn’t affected my weight loss too much, but in the last 2 days I have eaten over my calorie allowance but not by a lot.

I just feel like a mess today. I hate days like this. Is everything I’m doing now in my life (working hard, studying toward my degree and eating healthy) ever going to add up to something more?

Also, how do you define success? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I hate feeling jealous of other peoples lives.. I want them to feel jealous of me for a change! I just feel that sometimes I’m living my life based on what other people think rather than what I really want on a deeper level.

Ah well.

SW: 123

Current: 115.2 (as of this morning)

Lost: 7.8kg (17 pounds)

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