badddd run

these last few days have been bad. I’ve been eating bad and just not enjoying it recently.

I saw my ex-boyfriend has a girlfriend. I facebook stalked, shame on me. I know I may have mentioned this before.. but I’ve been thinking about it more and more. I actually saw a play yesterday and it was about a lady ¬†who was trying to get a relationship and in one part of the play she spoke about her ex husband and how she had to move forward etc.. it kinda got me to thinking. I feel like I should move forward, and for the most part I feel I have but there is a little part of me holding on. Maybe it’s because it was my first real love? I don’t know. When I think about it, I’m very hard headed, stubborn, really driven, I like order. He was a musician, more of a free spirit and really chilled out. Maybe we are too different. Maybe I could find someone more suited to me, with a dry sense of humour and a quick wit, someone who is a bit more intelligent and someone who doesn’t judge me. I always felt like he was judging me, but that could’ve been more my issue and low self esteem rather than anything else.

I just want to buy pretty clothes and power suits and jimmy choos and take on the fucking world.
Does anyone else feel like their weight is holding them back? Like they’re waiting to lose weight before their real life can begin?

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