Chasing Pavements

Ok, I’ll update my progress from yesterday then I’m going to refect a little bit. I dipped into some flex. I ate out twice and didn’t make the best choices. I still think I’ll be cool the rest of the week though. I have 18 left plus whatever ap’s I earn. Yeah I’ll be cool I also got in all my water, but no exercise. I typically take Tuesday’s off from homework and they’ve turned into my lazy days. Although last night during Biggest Loser my son started projectiling vomit all over my carpet(like 3 inches from the linoleum that is getting replaced in 2 days). Poor kid, but I was feeling sorry for myself, lol. Gross.

I’ve only eaten once and that was at Olive Garden. I need to check the points of what I ate. I don’t know why I didn’t do that before, duh. Let’s hope I didn’t screw up and now have to add MORE minutes onto the bazillion I have left for 2 days. Wow, I better get it in gear

Ok, so today is my ex’s birthday. I’m not wishing him happy birthday. In fact, i can’t possibly imagine he could find anything happy in today. This isn’t a relationship post or bash my ex either, lol, no worries. We split almost a year ago this week. I’ve just been thinking about what has happened and how I have changed in this past year.  

I had about zero self worth and it took me a long time to leave because I couldn’t imagine anyone else would want me. After splitting I decided I wanted to buy a house. So I did. And I love it. Slowly I started to see what I am capable of accomplishing. Right after making my first mortgage payment my ex decided he was up and moving. Left me faced with an eviction(yes, his apartment was in my name, believe me I’ve learned) and a car. Refused to give me anything or say anything to the kids. Just left. It was quite possibly the lowest point in my life. When it rains, it pours. Everything, and I mean, everything was just going downhill fast. I cried more in that month than  in my entire life I swear.

But, I picked myself up. I still took car of my kids, went to work, did well in school. All of the shitty things he did and said to me made me stronger. I may not meet another man in years. So be it. I’m strong and I’m ok with being by myself. I still have a long way to go, but I know I’ll get there. I feel like I’ve released so much negativity from my life and it’s a huge step in getting my weight loss in gear. I know how strong my mind is, it’s time to recognize how strong my body is. To appreciate everything about me.