So much food, so little time…

I’ve been procrastinating, not eating horribly, but eating just bad enough that I’m not getting myself anywhere.  It’s my little internal rebellion against giving up all those things I’ve come to enjoy during my childbearing years.  There’s still time to salvage, my first mini goal is though Valentines Day.

This weekend has been a busy one, got new appliances yesterday (yay!), reorganizing and de-cluttering since we lost some storage space.  Made some pretty amazing homemade pizza, with fresh mozz & proscuitto topped with arugula salad drizzled with balsamic and EVOO, salt and pepper.   Not exactly diet food, but not laden with artificial dyes and preservatives either.  I’ll take the real food thank you.  :o)

Wow it’s been a long time - I’ve remained active on the forums but my blog has remained unattended, poor thing.  Well a lot has happened since I last posted, had baby #3 in July and unfortunately I’m at my highest weight ever at the moment.  I weigh now what I did the day I went into labor with my first…that itself is a very sad realization.  Trying to figure this out, dieting was so easy when it was just me; I feel so scattered all the time now (I’m hoping I’m not the only mom that feels like this!)  Trying to not only focus on myself a little, but also working on simplifying the rest of our lives as much as possible.  I expect this to be a work in progress with far more slips and falls than in my previous life sans-kids.  But any step towards improvement, even a small one is progress and they build up over time.

My goal is to count calories and reduce my carbs to ~100g/day, along with intermittent fasting.  I’ll see what works best and go from there.

Well I’ve been gaining and losing the same 3 pounds for the last 2 months, it struck me that in 15 weeks my little boy turns 1 and I’m still in the same place I was months ago.  I still have ~10 pounds left to get to my prepreg weight from Des and another 15 from Connor, plus a few vanity pounds after that.  So, a reasonable goal is to at least be at my prepregnancy weight by his first birthday, anything more would just be a bonus.  So I’m recommitting and buckling down.

WW worked for me in the past, however this time I’m having a hard time sticking with it - for some reason I have the mentality that if I blow one day then I might as well blow the whole week (in my mind I know that’s crazy talk) but that’s how it’s been going lately.  I keep thinking well maybe this diet, or this plan and never just decide to stick to one.  Why have I become such a wishy-washy person? 

PrePreg 153# / High Preg 191#(+38)
Goal Weight - 135#

1 week PP - 176
5 weeks PP - 169.6 (-21.4)
10 weeks PP - 168.8 (-22.2)
15 weeks PP - 165.8 (-25.2)
20 weeks PP - 166.4 (-24.6)
25 weeks PP - 163.6 (-27.4)
30 weeks PP - 163.8 (-27.2)
35 weeks PP - 161.8 (-29.2)
36 weeks PP - 163.4 (-27.6)
40 weeks PP on 11.5.09…..

     TOM is almost upon me and the shift in my hormones and responses to everyday things is almost palpable.  When I was younger PMS, and all that other hormone stuff never bothered me, I never noticed it.  Now, I know it as soon as it hits me, I react to things differently, I think about food differently, I get terrible headaches, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin for days - wohoo I can’t wait till menopause.  I’ve really had cravings for meat and nuts - so what did I have today, those True North almond, peanut cluster things (which are evil and oh so delicious) at least I had 3 other people to share them with.  For dinner, what else but ribs would do for the women craving some meat! 

I really need to get to the doctor and have a physical and bloodwork done, I haven’t had one since before I was pregnant with #1 so it’s about time.  All right, time to go and be productive (or at least try to). 

     Ah Monday, that day of the week where I always promise myself I will make up the culinary indiscretions of the weekend.  Well, unfortunately that didn’t happen today - today, in short, was a BAD day for the diet.  There are some days where I feel like there’s a disconnect between my body and mind - my mind is saying I shouldn’t eat this or that but I find myself putting it in my mouth anyways.  Argh, really need to work on the self control, I think I’m trying to give up too many things at once - dieting, trying to give up diet soda, cut back on coffee and lattes - maybe I should take one thing at a time and focus on the food first.  Once that’s under control I can start weaning off my other vices.

    So, with today shot to hell - I have four more full days until I weigh in again so let’s make the best of it!  There’s something about the horror of a complete stranger knowing that I overindulged and hence gained that’s motivating - maybe not for the right reasons but motivating nonetheless.

Goal Weight:  135  /  Mini Goal: 150 by end of Oct

Starting Weight: 167

• Week 1 (8.15.09): 165.4 | -1.6 
• Week 2 (8.22.09): 164.4 | -1.0 | -2.6

My eating was fairly lax this week and I still saw a loss, so I’m going to buckle down and really make an effort to stay within my points all week. 

This week has not been the best for me eating wise, I’ve been kind of slacking off and giving in to my cravings a bit too much.  Today I ate a chicken salad wawa hoagie and washed it down with a NF grande Peppermint Mocha latte from Starbucks.  Ate half of a very large vegan cupcake, had PB&J for both breakfast and dinner and a serving of cheetos.  Not to mention two mini peppermint patties and I drank a ton of diet soda and almost no water!  Talk about unhealthy!  I’m usually generally a pretty healthy eater - the junk I buy for my husband but for some reason today I really wanted some of the cheetos in the cupboard.  If there’s any silver lining I put a serving on the plate and didn’t take the whole bag with me  :o) 

To top it all off I just stepped on the scale dreading the damage I’ve done so far this week and it said 163.6!  How is this possible!?!  I’m not complaining but I am dumbfounded.  The Weight watchers scale is about 1.5# above my home scale and that still puts me at a loss for this week - crazy.  Although, I do have to say I’m just over 6 months postpartum and last time around this is where my body finally started shedding the extra baby weight without much effort (really none last time).  So if that’s the case if I actually stuck to my diet imagine what I could do! 

Well, obviously this self-accountability thing isn’t working so I bit the bullet and rejoined Weight Watchers.  I hate to spend the money but before kids when I went to meetings I was the skinniest I’ve ever been in my life (120’s!)  I’m going to meetings on Saturday mornings, there’s something about a total stranger knowing whether or not you’ve lost weight each week that keeps me motivated.  This week has been a bit stressful but I’m still within my points, even though what I used them on might not be best food choices - but we all have those weeks, right?  It’s been very “carb-heavy”, I wish I didn’t love them so much and losing would be so much easier!

Goal Weight:  135  /  Mini Goal: 150 by end of Oct

• Starting Weight@ Weight Watchers: 167
• Week 1 (8.15.09): 165.4 | -1.6 

I’m going to start posting my menus, but the formatting for these blogs isn’t very friendly so I’ll have to figure out a way…  Starting sunday I think, it’ll be the start of a new week for me. 

PrePreg 153# / High Preg 191#(+38)
Goal Weight - 135#

1 WPP - 176
4 WPP - 171.0
8 WPP - 168.2
12 WPP - 166.8
16 WPP - 166.2
20 WPP - 166.4
21 WPP - 164.0

27 lb lost, 29 lbs to go…

After staying the same for quite a while the scale finally moved - yay!  Still have quite a ways to go but it’s motivating at least.  DH is working late yet again so I’m holding down the fort with the kids and trying to figure out what to make Connor for dinner.  Desmond doesn’t want to nap, even though he needs to so that means a miserable boy until bedtime -ugh!

Pre Pregnancy Weight: 153

Higest Pregnancy Weight: 191 (+38)

Goal Weight: 135

1 week PP - 176 (-15)
2 weeks PP - 174 (-2 / -17)
3 weeks PP - 173.2 (-0.8 / -17.8)
4 weeks PP - 171.0 (-2.2 / -20)
5 weeks PP - 169.6 (-1.4 / -21.4)
6 weeks PP - 170.0 (+0.4 / -21)
7 weeks PP - 169.0 (-1 / -22)
8 weeks PP - 168.2 (-0.8 / -22.8)

I’m losing, it’s excruciatingly slow though.