If food is there…I need to eat it. Call it an addiction, call it no self control….whatever it’s called, I can’t help myself.
There are times I know I eat to fulfill a need, loneliness, tiredness, boredom. There there are other times, like when I’m at work, busy and pretty content with my surroundings and someone brings in something to eat like donuts or cookies and I have to not only have one…but I obsess about having another….and often do. Sometimes sneaking it, of course.
Wonder what makes me do that? I feel it must be something chemical, something in my brain. I feel like there’s no switch in my head that shuts off when I’m not hunger anymore or I know I shouldn’t be eating. Food is almost always on my mind. If I don’t have it, I’m thinking about it. And once I start thinking about it. I usually find some way to get it. And if it’s not what I particularly wanted I’ll eat something else that won’t necessarily satisfy me so I continue eating until I feel pretty much sated. But even then I may eat more.
Some years in my life I have thought I’d concurred this problem….but it keeps coming back. Right now I’m about at my worse. Almost my fattest ever and not happy about it, but feel hopeless…helpless, in resolving this issue.