Well, my son’s flight came in on schedule - he made it in a little after midnight on Wednesday just before the storm hit full strength and started cancelling arrivals - and the girls picked him up as planned. Phew. One less thing to worry myself over. I made a gargantuan pan of shepherd’s pie (son’s favorite “comfort” food…) and dropped it at my daughter’s at 6:30 on my way to work. Got a nice big hug from daughter and big-boy son (I think I’ve been calling him that since he learned to tie his shoes), and left for work. Snow again. What else is new, right? Mass ‘Pike speed reduced to 40MPH, although as far as I could see it was just wet and maybe the slightest bit slushy, but definitely not slippery, unless you were determined to go 80 MPH, which I was most decidedly not interested in doing. Drove in at a sedate 60-65 MPH except for those clogged spots where traffic was crawling, anyway. Took me just about two hours, and it was actually a very pretty drive in. The snow was/is falling in big, fluffy flakes, and a majority of the ‘Pike is through wooded and rocky areas - a lot of pine and various kinds of fir trees. The ground has a foot or more of snow covering, and the trees looked like a Christmas Card. I actually called DH on my cell phone just to tell him how pretty it was, driving in to work. :-)  When I was approaching the toll booths coming into the city (I have a Fast Lane transponder, so theoretically, I can just drive straight through, but it seems like the “Fast Lane” booths usually have more cars lined up to go through them than the ones do where you have to take a ticket or pay a toll) I saw a car ahead and to the left of me with it’s gas door opened and the gas cap hanging on a chain, bumping back & forth against the side of the car. Darned car was from Connecticut, so they’d already been driving for quite some time (unless they got gas on the ‘pike) and I didn’t think it was a good idea for snow to be getting into the gas tank, so I pulled up next to them (on their passenger’s side) and beeped my horn….beep*beep*beep. Had my window rolled down, and was saying, “Your gas cap….” There were two women in the car - the one driving was about my age, while her passenger was quite a bit older: an elderly woman, who looked frightened to death that someone was “accosting” them in traffic, evidently. But their window rolled down, and I was able to smile and say, “Your gas cap is off and dangling…thought you might want to know…Happy Holidays!” The elderly woman’s expression changed into such a sweet smile, and the driver called, “Thank you so much” with a very relieved tone in her voice. I thought (and still think) about what a shame it is that our first reaction to a stranger trying to get our attention is one of fear. Not without good reason, undoubtedly, but isn’t it a shame that that’s so? Now we even have to be cautious of someone offering help…they could be planning to rob or hurt us in some way, after all. Fah la la la lah, etc., etc., so on and so forth.

I went to “TOYS R US” on Saturday to find some Barbie Doll paraphernalia for my granddaughter, Morgan. I was really, really struck by the grim faces of the shoppers. I bought 4 different Barbies and 4 packages with four or five outfits and accessories in each package, plus a nice carrying case so that she could lug them all about with her when she comes to visit, or goes to a friend’s or her cousin’s house. Came to a grand (shocking) total of $133 and some change. Barbie houses and cars and swimming pools and hair salons and spas and ski resorts (and such) cost in the multiple hundreds of dollars, and are, of course, advertised on every TV channel in the country. How do young - or any age, for that matter - families struggling with housing costs, heat, escalating gas & food prices, etc., etc. , manage to satisfy their kid’s Christmas wishes? So many can’t, and as a result, are depressed and miserable at a time when families should be enjoying their time together. It makes me so sad to see them out at stores, looking at price tags on things they’d like to buy, and then walking away, heads down, because they’re just too expensive.

My kids, a couple of years back, decided that everybody buying for everybody (as well, of course, as for their own spouses and chicks) was simply too excessive (I have four children, four children’s spouses - or in son’s case, significant other, four grandchildren, and all of their in-laws who come to us for Christmas.) The year before last, I bought gifts for more than 30 people, and spent a ridiculous amount of money. Nonsensical, really, because everybody pretty much has everything they want, and it’s mostly a matter of “What can I get them that they don’t already have and won’t have to just go out and return?” So, the kids decided to put names in a hat (except the grandkids - we all get them gifts) and everybody just buys one creative, thoughtful and hopefully suitable gift for whoever’s name they pick, and the spending limit is $100. Period. ONE PERSON buys for ONE PERSON and spends $100. At first, I didn’t want to do it - I wanted to at least get each of my kids something, but then I would’ve felt bad about not buying for their spouses…well, you know what I mean. So, they convinced me to draw a name, and that’s what we did last year (and it’s what we’re doing again this year). Nobody spends an outrageous amount of money, nobody is racing from store to store buying *stuff* that nobody even wants or can use, and everybody is thoughtful and creative, and buys something very well suited to the person they’re buying for. So, that cuts down significantly on Christmas shopping and battling the crowds out there. We’ve found that it’s led to a much less stressful Christmas for us all, and we just do a little more than we might normally do for birthdays, which makes up for everybody’s only getting one gift apiece for Christmas.

Dinner together is, of course, chaotic no matter where we have it - dd3’s last year, my house the year before (and for many years before that) - and this year it’ll be at dd2’s - the same dd2 whose apartment we’re moving into. They’ll have to truck my big harvest table, which I had custom-built back in the ice age when my kids were young and we were bordering on affluence over from here to there (It can seat 14 quite comfortably) and then it can stay there. It’s in my basement here - it fit perfectly in my old house, which is where it got years and years of use, but dining rooms in old victorians (our current, and soon to be former) house are not designed for 10-ft. long tables. Neither are the dining rooms in apartments. Feels right, though, you know? To be passing that table on, I mean. I’m visualizing it journeying down through the generations, which reminds me, I need to mention it in the *book* I’m writing for my descendants about the life and times of their ancestor (me) and what she knows of their even earlier ancestors.

So. We - dh & I - went to dd2’s last night which is where ds is staying, because this house is in no shape to accomodate extra people ( although he certainly could’ve stayed here if push came to shove) what with packing and all, although they will ALL be here over the weekend HELPING to finish up as much of the packing as possible, and undoubtedly admonishing me that THIS or THAT surely isn’t something I need (yes, it is!) but quickly and efficiently nonetheless, getting it all done. I’ve already put a large number of clothes, shoes, and household goods aside for dd3 to carry off to one or more of the women’s shelter programs that she regularly visits on her job, and getting rid of all of that extraneous stuff - especially since it may conceivably be of use to someone else - will be a huge relief. (It includes some of my *fat* clothes, which dd says are badly needed, because everyone seems to donate teeny-tiny things, and the larger woman don’t seem to get much. Well, they’re certainly welcome to those sizes that I don’t plan on expanding into ever again!)

So, I’m delighted that ds made it home safely, and happy, too, that dh’s job loss didn’t mean foreclosure, no place to live, etc., etc…..all those things that could happen because they’ve happened to others. I sometimes have to remind myself about the relativity of good fortune. Compared to - oh, professional athletes or Hollywood celebrities, say - we are definitely “poor as churchmice”, but compared to the women my daughter works with every day, and many other families in this country, we are pretty danged comfortable.

And yet. my mood is affected by, of all things, the weather. Driving home from work yesterday (It was STILL snowing; snowed well into the night) was such a chore. I am so tired of all this snow, and winter hasn’t even officially started. I’m looking out the window now (taking a break from all that packing) and while it doesn’t seem to be snowing anymore, the sky is uniformly gray, and everything is covered in layers and layers of that ghastly white stuff. (Yes, ghastly. Years ago, when I was still skiing, I actually LOVED the stuff; now I can barely tolerate it, although tolerate it I must.)

I’m also looking forward to being moved and having this whole thing over with. It’s just getting tiresome, now. (grumble, grumble, gripe, gripe, whine, whine).

And, of course, because time goes by whether you’re having fun or not, it will soon be over with, and we’ll be all moved in and starting the next phase of our lives.

DH was notified yesterday that he will be able to collect unemployment, which is not only good in terms of having those few extra dollars to work with until he’s able to find a job, BUT, by agreeing to unemployment, his former employer, in effect, is saying that he was terminated through no fault of his own. Dumb and dumber. That opens the door to an age discrimination case, you betcha.

Y’know what? I say we take a vote and eliminate December altogether. It’s just too stressful.

I ate some Chinese food with the kids last night. Yum. (And no, I’m not going to weigh myself today! LOL)

I’ll be checking in before Christmas, so I won’t wish everybody a merry one (or happy holidays of your choice) just yet.

Moods are so transient, you know? I can be feeling so horrid, and then moments later, someone does or says something that makes me indescribably happy. Schizophrenia, maybe? 

 Love,

Z