I want one of those magic scarves - or capes - or blankets or something - that you can throw over something, yank it off, and that something has turned into an altogether different something. You know the kind I mean. I want to throw it over myself, and when I pull it off, I want to be 20 pounds thinner. 20 pounds would do. I’m not greedy. I could lose that last two or three pounds just by eating less and exercising more. I just don’t want to have to do it forever, for cripes sake! Last week I lost four ounces! That’s a pound a month! Okay, it’s better than gaining a pound a month, but even so! Okay, so I slipped up a few times and got sloppy about counting calories. Missed a day for my bike riding, too, and it wasn’t even raining. I don’t even remember what my excuse was. Yeah. So maybe losing four ounces is actually a gift, because I really should’ve gained a few pounds what with being so slovenly and all. I am NOT going to poop out here, half-way to my goal, but I have to admit that I’ve become a little lazy. In fact, although it’s raining right now, I COULD be in the spare bedroom using the trim rider. I’m. Just. Not. Feeling.It. It’s Monday, and it’s a rainy Monday, fahgoodness’ sake. One is SUPPOSED to feel moldy and depressed. It’s a GOOD day for moldiness and depression. Every day can’t be bright and sunshiny and filled with accomplishment and well-being! Life isn’t meant to be that way! There has to be BALANCE. Black/White. Day/Night. Happy/Sad. Sunny/Rainy. Skinny/Fat. Tsk. Well, the truth of the matter is that I feel I have served my allotted “fat” time, and now skinny should just slink on in and take over. And, if my recollection is a valid one, I didn’t have to work HALF as hard changing from skinny to fat as I’m having to work changing from fat to skinny. An extra chocolate bar here and there; riding everywhere instead of walking; choosing pasta and bread over salad and fruit. Simple, easy stuff. But NOW, everything’s just so complicated! Adding calories, subtracting exercise, dividing stuff into fiber, non-fiber, low fat, fat free, sugar free, taste-free and hitting a zero on the satisfaction scale. Hah! But it feels so good, doesn’t it, when you can stuff your overly-abundant arse into a smaller size? I mean, the bennies definitely outweigh the inconveniences. And so we shuffle ahead, reaching, reaching for that golden ring that hovers just out of reach but lures us ever onward….dying for a freaking strawberry ice cream cone, but settling for a glass of water instead. Actually, what I REALLY want is a freaking HOT. FUDGE. SUNDAE. And you know what? If it were just ONE, I’d be okay. I mean, I could eat it, and then eat nothing but raw carrot sticks for a couple of days, and there’d be no harm done. But I can’t DO that! Oh, no, not me! Not the old binge queen here! No, uh-uh…if I ate a hot fudge sundae, then I’d want a candy bar, and then another one, and then some cookies (like a whole box full) and then I’d want a nice big cold glass of milk with the cookies, and then I’d remember how good peanut butter & crackers are with milk, and I’d move on to the peanut butter & crackers…and maybe even a few more goodies before I finally crashed. And I would feel so sick and nasty…and I am NOT EVER GOING to do that again, but just for right this very moment in time, can I tell you that I’ve had my fill of cherries and grapes and fiber and chicken and more chicken and tuna fish and low cal/low carb flatbread and broccoli? Can I tell you that? Can I tell you that dieting - and lifestyle changing - and all that happy hooplah just gets OLD after awhile? After exercising (some), and eating healthy (mostly) and only losing four crummy ounces?????????????????????

So where is that magic cape? I need it NOW!

I’ve been watching Roots - the old miniseries about Kunta Kinte and slavery and his descendants, including Alex Haley, the author. We bought the anniversary edition of the DVD set. It’s pretty fascinating. I saw it when it first came out as a mini-series on TV - what? 20 years ago? Good grief!

I bought a size 14 skirt on sale over the weekend without trying it on. I just figured a 14 would fit, since the last I knew, I was squeezing into 16’s, and I’ve lost some weight since. The 14 fit loosely, so I guess that’s a good thing. I’m just bored and tired, so I guess I should go to bed to avoid eating something I shouldn’t.

Oh, to be rich like Paris Hilton, and be able to just have cosmetic surgeons sculpt your body however you want it to be! (”Just take a few inches off here…and another inch off there…”)

Oh, to stop rambling on and sounding like a bloody lunatic!

Talley ho!

E!