Weight is not our problem. Gravity is. If we can figure out how to get rid of all this excess gravity, we’ll all fit into size 2’s.

In the meantime, I guess I’m fated to spend the rest of my life eating high fiber and low calories. It’s actually not so bad. But on the 4th, with my DS visiting from Cali and yearning after fresh (fried) seafood, I succumbed to temptation and ate like there was no tomorrow. Except there was. A tomorrow, I mean. And I felt a little guilty. Only a little, though. The good…possibly even great, actually….thing is that despite eating it, and in fact, eating quite a bit of it, it wasn’t quite as enjoyable as I remember it from my pre-dieting life. Okay, yes…it did trigger some additional eating that night (carbos do that to me) but I really did jump right back on the wagon yesterday, and didn’t suffer any excess hunger…no readjustment pains or anything. Rode my bike last night after putting supper in the oven, and was planning to try to ride for just 45 minutes, but did an hour, instead. Felt good about that.

Okay. Yanno, I don’t like myself when I’m heavy. I think I do a LOT of negative self-talk. AND, undoubtedly, a lot of rationalizing, like “I’m old, now. Being fat doesn’t matter.” Or, “What good will losing weight do? I’ll just end up having even MORE wrinkles…” Or, “I don’t care. I’m going to eat whatever I want, and that’s IT.” But it never works for me for very long. My appearance has always mattered to me, and it doesn’t look like that’s ever going to change, no matter how old I get. Plus, NOW, there are health reasons to keep my weight at more optimum levels. My blood pressure, which started getting high about ten years ago, and for which I needed to take medication, has, since I’ve been eating healthier foods, lost weight, and been exercising, has dropped to 104/68 - the lowest I can ever remember it being. Oh, I should mention here that I quit smoking too, in January, after smoking for 30 years.

So why am I doing all this? I dunno, to be perfectly honest. I’ve wondered if it’s a subconscious desire to cheat death? Maybe I felt that I was rushing towards it a little too quickly before? This could be my way of “tapping the brakes” a little and slowing it down, some? Maybe. I’m definitely not feeling ready to deteriorate completely, yet.

Ah, well. Doesn’t matter.

Back later….I’ve got some work to do.

 E!