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Eileen - Day #322 - Saturday
Daily intake goals::  < 35g carbs / < 1700 calories / > 64+ oz. water
Exercise yesterday:: 60 min. tennis w/the girls
Net carb grams yesterday:  24.8      Calories:  1282
Weight today:  233.2     Change:  +-0.0    Total weight loss:  -52.0
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When I was looking for old pictures of Kevin, I came across other old pictures (on CDs) and so yesterday at work I was sharing them with my co-workers, MP and MM, who are also my friends who I’ve known for many years.  The phone rang and MP went to answer it, so MM was sitting next to me as we continued to browse through the photos one by one.

We were looking at a set of pictures from when I went to Salt Spring Island off the coast of Vancouver.  That was, I think, in 2004.  Yeah, that sounds about right.  2004.

When we came to one particular photo, both MM and I gasped.  And we looked at each other, and said “Wow” at exactly the same moment.  Then we both looked back at the computer screen and at the same moment we both said “Wow” again.  It was a weird and funny moment.  But it was also a significant moment … for me.

It was significant that finally I recognize the change in myself.  Fifty pounds is still only one-third of what I want to lose and I have so, so much work left to do - that I sometimes feel like my progress is rather inconsequential.  But when I saw this picture, my immediate thought was, “OMG I don’t look like that anymore!”

And it meant a lot to me, that MM’s immediate thought was “Wow Eileen, you look WAY different now!”

The thing is, back then, in 2004, I wasn’t weighing myself.  I had no idea then and I have no idea now how much I weighed when that picture was taken.  I THOUGHT - up until yesterday - I THOUGHT that after I quit smoking in 2007, my weight shot up to the highest it had ever been - 285.2 - that’s what I thought.

Now, looking at this picture from 2004, I’m not so sure I wasn’t beyond that weight even back then.

Wow.

Every time I see a picture of myself so heavy like that, I remember feeling uncomfortable.  Just so uncomfortable in my own skin.  And though I’m not done, I’m not there, I’m not anywhere near goal yet - IT IS SIGNIFICANT that I am no longer THAT uncomfortable anymore.

Wow.

16694

P.S.  I bought two pairs of shorts today - size 18/20!!  Woohooo!!!