Day #138 - Sunday
Starting weight: 285.2
Calories/Carbs Goals (limits): 1600 / 40.0
Yesterday’s calories & net carbs: 1793 / 45.5
Yesterday’s exercise: 20 min. elliptical
Weight Yesterday:: 244.4 Today: 243.8
Change today:: -0.6 lbs. Loss-so-far: 41.4 lbs. bmi: 46.07
I added a new number to my header today: my BMI. This never used to mean anything to me before, but it sure does now. When I started this weight-loss journey at 285.2 lbs, my bmi was 53.89 which means I was well into “morbidly obese.”
Morbid. If you look up the definition of morbid or morbidly, it means sickly or diseased. The four different dictionaries at dictionary.com all refer to illness - but none of them come out and say what it really means: “You’re gonna die.” Yet they all do refer to the root word, “mori,” which means “to die.” Interesting that dictionary definitions would spare us that ummm, morbid spin on the word - yet in its general usage in our English-speaking population, I would bet that’s how people understand it. If it’s morbid, it means it’s on the road to death. Or at least pertaining to death. Yes?
Funny, I didn’t feel like I was dying.
But the truth of the matter is, I was well on my way. And as far as the numbers game goes, I still am. But hot-damn!!! My death number is decreasing almost daily!!!
So I’m gonna keep it up there in the header all nice and big and pink (to match my cool bike, sterling, lol) and I’m gonna watch that number creep down and down until it’s no longer “morbidly obese” - just “obese.” And then I’m gonna watch that number creep towards “overweight.” And then, finally … to the “healthy weight” range.
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I screwed up last night. Ever since the baby shower, there’s been leftover m&m’s on top of the microwave. I didn’t look at ‘em. I didn’t crave ‘em. I didn’t think about ‘em. Until last night, late. They were calling to me and so I let myself have some macadamia nuts (high in calories but really low in carbs) thinking if I just had a snack the craving for the m&m’s would go away. Didn’t work. Finally I just said f*** it and had a handful. Messed up my carbs for the day and sent my calories over too.
I’m thinking it’s because I had sugar. I haven’t had an overwhelming crave like that for months and just now out of the blue I have one? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this came so soon after taking Thanksgiving day “off.” I need to be extra, extra careful about my sugar consumption until I have this back under control!
6001
Haha! You’re gonna die! Thanks for the humor during my boring geology study session!
that is a very scary word isn’t it? MORBID!! That’s definetely not the way I want myself to be described as. LOL at your death number!!! Its a good way to look at it tho.
I have beef with the BMI chart. I’m like 2 points from being in the super morbidly obese category like those weighting 800 and 900 lbs. I wear a size 16 (14 on a really good day) for goodness sakes!
Meanwhile, I’ve been craving M&Ms for WEEKS! I can’t go anywhere near the inside of a store until this craving passes…I can see that now.
I find it real interesting to being able to pinpoint triggers these days. It’s true those cravings don’t come around 3-4 times day like they used to. It’s all because of the junk we were eating. That was triggering us to eat more junk!
That thing of trying to ignore something surely doesn’t work well. It’s like you can try to go all the way around it but no it still brings you in eventually. I was reading some magazine while waiting at SuperCuts today, and there was Carnie Wilson in there. One of her tips was kind of strange…. but something that stuck in my head. She said “if you’re having a craving, chew on it and then spit it out. That way you don’t feel so deprived.” Something to consider, not sure if we should take it seriously.
Darn I always forget to mention something else… anyhoo. When I was first diagnosed as morbidly obese a decade ago, I was insulted and had never heard of it before. And yet, the insurance company couldn’t cover a gastric bypass or otherwise? I mean come on… I was/am MORBIDly obese, doesn’t that mean I was going to die? In the end, I am glad I didn’t get that surgey. It’s better to get it done right.