Starting weight:  285.2
Calories/Carbs Goals (limits):  1600  / 40.0
Yesterday’s calories & net carbs:    1534  /  33.6
Yesterday’s exercise:    2.4 miles real bike + 20 min. elliptical
Weight Yesterday:: 245.4    Today:  244.4
Change today::  -1.0 lbs.   Loss-so-far:  40.8 lbs.

Earlier this week, one of my hubby’s best friends died.  It was totally unexpected.  Jim was 63 years old, active, still ran his own business (owned, maintained, and managed nine residential properties).  He was home alone, in his favorite chair, watching TV (probably football), when he fell asleep and never woke up.

Yesterday was the memorial service for Jim, and people took turns getting up and sharing stories.  My husband wanted to go up there but knew he’d break down into tears and so he just held my hand and didn’t budge.  “Besides,” he said later to a group of Jim’s men-friends and men-relatives, “there were children present and most of the stories I had about Jim couldn’t have been shared anyway.”  His comment was met with laughter and general sounds of agreement. 

Everyone at the service was just wrecked that this man who was so full of life and humor and love, could possibly be gone.

Jim’s sudden and unexpected passing saddened me, yes, but it also scared the hell outta me.  My husband is only 46 years old and is in general good health, but during his last checkup his doctor was worried about both his cholesterol and triglycerides levels.  I have tried to help him to lower his fatty food intake but he is such a picky eater that I honestly don’t know what to feed him. 

He eats chicken (battered and fried only, I can’t get him to even try “naked” grilled chicken), ham, hamburgers, spaghetti with meat sauce (won’t eat it without ground beef in it), hot dogs, fried bologna sandwiches, grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni & cheese, biscuits with sausage gravy, sausage, bacon, potato chips, french fries, mashed potatoes, corn niblets, corn on the cob, cheetohs, apple pie, pumpkin pie, and reese’s peanut butter cups.  Oh, and he’ll eat turkey once a year.  That’s it.  I can’t suggest other foods because he just won’t eat them.  Won’t.

Losing a loved one brings our own mortality to mind, and so yeah, I’m scared of losing him.  I talked to him about it yesterday after the memorial service and he said he didn’t know what to do about it either.  “I can’t eat rabbit food, you know that.” 

*Sigh.*  I know.

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