Okay, I lost some of that extra weight (the six lbs.) that I was bitching about.  Not all of it, but most of it.  One might assume it was because my knees were swollen from the “new” exertion of bike riding?  Hubby and I went out again yesterday for a 4-mile ride and I felt really good… until today, that is.

My left knee (the one that was injured in the accident in December) keeps “going out” while I’m walking and causing a very sharp pain like I’m being stabbed with a knife.  It scares me because I cannot canNOT be forced to be inactive from an injury.  CAN’T.  I have to be active, I have to if I want to lose weight and I DO WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT.

Please, please, God, please let my knee be okay.

Meanwhile, I am learning to eat in the real world.  It’s pretty cool because both hubby and I enjoy going out to eat.  We love to have coffee brought to us and we love to talk and play cards while we wait for our food.  It’s one of the features of my “old” lifestyle that definitely supported my ability to gain weight - and so now if I can change it up enough to allow it to support my ability to lose weight, I won’t have to scrap it altogether.

Which is good, because - realistically - I probably wouldn’t.

Anyway, I have found myself scrounging through each menu to determine what I “can” have.  It helps to know that I can have anything I want - but - at the moment I want something that won’t drive my calorie total through the roof.  For example, I know from looking at the nutritional menu at Chili’s that their food is ASTRONOMICAL when it comes to calories!  My hubby’s favorite meal there, Chicken Crispers, has a whopping total of 1800 calories - yeeeeowww!  My favorite, Cajun Chicken Pasta, has 1500.  That’s like a whole day’s worth of calories.  Not my favorite anymore.  Nuh uh.  So I ordered a grilled chicken breast and asked for broccoli for my side.  It came with mashed potatoes (a huge helping)  of which I limited my intake.  No bread.  No breadING.  It was, in a word, yummy.  I was both full and happy.

Tonight’s challenge was Burger King.  I could have ordered the grilled chicken but I really really love their tendercrisp chicken.  Anyway, hubby ordered a whopper and large onion rings and I ordered the tendercrisp chicken sandwich.  Took the food home.  I made myself a big plate of salad and proceeded to remove the patty from the bun, wiping mayo off the patty.  Discarded bun.  Looked up tendercrisp patty on the bk website and it was 320.  It’s probably the biggest single thing calorie-wise that I’ve had to eat in weeks.  But it fit within my calories for the day and omg it was awesome.

I know I’m not actually losing weight yet but I will.  All this attention to what I’m allowing into my mouth has to pay off eventually.  I had all those years and years of paying NO attention whatsoever to the caloric (or nutritional) value of what I was eating, it’s interesting now that I am so obsessed with it.

I will lose weight.  My knee will heal.  I will exercise.  I will get fit.  I will.