Back in the fall, one of my co-workers and I had started doing a daily exercise tape together. Most afternoons at about 3:45, we’d pop the tape in and spend 40 minutes bending and reaching and hopping and twisting. Yeah, twisting. I’m a little embarrassed (not sure why) but the exercise tape we both liked was the ancient “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” one with Richard Simmons. The rest of our coworkers found this very amusing, but Millie and I both thought the routine was fun and energizing.
.
Anyway, in mid-December she had to go out of town for a family crisis and around the same time I was in a car accident where I injured my knee, so the daily exercising kinda fell by the wayside. My knee is still not fully recovered (and plus I’ve been sick with this stupid cold), so I had not even tried to do the tape – until yesterday.
.
Oh. My. God. I’ve done this particular routine probably a thousand times over the years and never, ever found it as difficult as I found it yesterday! My knee bothered me, yes, but that was only part of it. I was stiff and sore and felt like I was glued to the floor or something. Granted, I’m heavier now than I have ever been in my entire life so I’m sure that’s having an effect but geez – it’s only been a month since I did this before and it’s so much harder now? But I got through it. I tell ya though, I was definitely sweatin’!!!
.
I’m still having trouble with late-night snacking. I think, “Oh, I’m still under 2,000 for the day so it’s okay if I have this,” or “Hey, at least I’m choosing more carefully.” But I still feel guilty like I’ve failed myself. I need to find a way to NOT feel bad – and NOT feel deprived. I know myself well enough to know that if I start feeling all negative about the “diet” that I’m on, then I won’t stay on that diet.
.
Instead, I need to create an eating plan – not a diet – that I can live with. Live with now and forever.  *Sigh.*  It’s still a work in progress.