dysfunctionalbarbie on Aug 11th 2012 10:30 am
Well I guess it’s better to have one HUGE blog post than not hearing from me in months. LOL. I broke this one up in categories so whichever you prefer to read or not you can easily skip through the stuff that doesn’t interest you.
Just for you guys I’ve decided to step on the scale this morning and before I tell you the number I’m going to say I’m not surprised. Last weekend I had a 4 day weekend it was awesome but I was so bored I didn’t know what to do with myself other than be lazy and eat out..I had Macdonalds at least three times, subway, Taquito’s from 7/11 and ice coffee and lots of pop. wtf right?! I was also very lazy lazy oh TOM was also there he was’t too pleasant with me this month either.
So this morning after not stepping on a scale for a while I decided to step on it because I looked so friggen thin in the mirror and the verdict was…157! I’m not mad, I’m not even slightly disappointed because the fact is this month I’ve done next to nothing and my diet has been shit. This month I’ve been able to maintain under 160 and I’m 157 today so I’m happy at my maintain accomplishment! yay me! But I know that just because I am maintaining and eatting shit it will eventually turn around and blow up like a Balloon. When I got back to work Tuesday I’ve been eating a lot less trying to control my hunger and tell my body I don’t need THAT much food, just enough to be satisfied with no hunger pains.
I had a three day weekend but decided to take a 4 day weekend because TOM started Thursday and as usual my cramps we’re a bitch so I took Friday off. Given the fact Monday was a holiday I had an enjoyable last two weeks of work, both were only 4 days. To my shock my Boss wrote a final goodbye email which was nice to the company to let them know I was leaving. Trust me I was VERY shocked and very awed about it. I wasn’t expecting it. As usually I thought I was just going to get a nice knowing you quick kick out the door. Because two years ago when I was running away and quit to move back home, I got nothing not even really a goodbye. Of course 4 months later I call back to see if they we’re hiring and wanted to take me back. They did, so a total of 4 years (minus the 6 month hiatus) I worked with the company.
I had my exit interview which I think went well of course my boss was nervous. The last girl who went out bashed everyone she could which of course resulted in the vice president and the president of the company to get involved to and gave people a lot of shit. Of course she was just a punk kid with no purpose who felt the need to burn her bridges. It happens. Also given my colourful out right personality people expected me to have done the same thing when the reality is. I speak my mind and when I have a problem you know it, but I’m not going to go into an exit interview to shit on everyone. The people who truly know me, know I have class and I’m not the horrific bitch that my enemies and frienemies portray me to be. The move they did was the best move for me in the long run. They took me out of my comfort zone so I would get my ass out there and take a chance. So can I really be mad? Yes. but am I mad? Nope. I was over it after a week but I had already had my interview and even after a month I still didn’t like it much in the other building.
Everyone signed a card for me wishing me the best. So many people told me they we’re going to miss me and we had Cake. My bossed thanked me for not going in with knives to stab everyone in the back. I said I wouldn’t because I could have been fired a long time ago with the way I reacted or even some of the shit I pulled. It works both ways, I wan’t the perfect employee and I’m a mouth piece. I know that. Just like they aren’t the perfect bosses.
I got an email around 9pm Friday night telling me where the course next week is going to take place. There’s something in the email stating I need my passport photo and my original police check which I don’t have. I was told to only worry about the second page because I already had my license. Sooo Now I’m like WTF?! I will email the guy later and ask him see what he say’s.
I’m really excited for this change, I left my job on wicked terms next week I have my course. It just amazes me two years ago I was 180 pounds, unhappy, heart broken, lost and in so much debt. I felt stuck but made the move to come back out to Alberta anyways to start fresh. It’s been a bumpy road with two, sometimes three jobs but I have all my creditor’s (except one) paid off, and I’m well on my way to having a fresh start. I’m 23 pounds down, my confidence level is up high, I feel like I’ve found myself again. I’m happy and I no longer feel I’m stuck. I’ve come a really long way to where I was a couple of years back. I feel like a whole new person and it’s great! Wish me luck!
Has anyone ever been in a situation where you we’re hanging out with someone (I call it hanging out unless the guy has at least brought me out on one date.) but you weren’t sure if you liked him or not? I’ll call him Motorhead and I met off a dating website. (the last retard left that I had been talking to before deleting my account.) He’s nice but sort of wishy washy. Thursday of last week he came over and was late of course but I’m willing to accept that Flaw I guess for the time beinging since he has had some shit going on…But I called in sick and then kicked him out around 11:30 he didn’t understand why since I wasn’t working the next day. But really hanging out in my place is boring. I get bored, we we’re drinking we weren’t doing anything but chit chatting and watching tv. I didn’t even want to watch a movie. (TOM had just started so I tend to be pretty F’in moody).
I finally had a 4 day weekend he wanted to hang out Saturday night like later on and when he asked me this, it was 8 O’clock at night. I said no, we can hang out tomorrow (as in the Sunday) in early evening because of course he told me if he didn’t get to work on his truck it makes him sad. I was annoyed and asked him what his deal was with evenings, why can’t we hang out during the day? Of course his answer was he works all week, evenings are for relaxing and on weekends he likes to work on his truck. I told him he apparently wakes up at 6am every day so work on your truck early morning and hang out in the afternoon? Nope that didn’t work for him. Just because he likes to relax in the evenings, I don’t like to relax with someone. I relax all the time whenever I have time to and I can entertain myself more by myself and do my own thing.
So Sunday came around and I texted him after walking Chloe cause my friend and I went for a 4 hour drive in total to go see the dogs she wants. He said two words to me but nothing about hanging out. So I went off doing my own thing Sunday evening and didn’t even ask him about it. On Monday morning I got an apology about not hanging out sunday and I ignored it. Simply because all he had to say on Sunday evening was I prefer to work on my truck and help my friend out than hang out with you right now.
We we’re suppose to chill yesterday and I cancelled because well again he wanted to hang out at my house. Because he’s oh so broke to take me anywhere, yet he can make trips out of town, go out for a beer and a bite with friends…but with me it’s lets just hang? haha So I told him I didn’t feel like hanging out tonight but tomorrow after I’m done work would be good. I also no longer want to hang out in my house I want to go out and do something. He said something free. I said fine. We’ve decided drinks at a park by the river which is cool I guess. I don’t like to drink when I have to drive so it’ll be water for me plus I don’t feel like going out and buying booze. To be honest I don’t know what he’s thinking but he apparently really likes me. I’m indifferent to the situation. But I’ll keep you guys posted.
So my friend and I have possibly decided to become roomates in December. Problem is she’s only thinking about herself and my new job is possibly way down south of the city so of course I want to move closer. Given a lot of shit that’s happened and her admitting to sabotaging me has made me become vary weary of her. It’s like when things go good in her life she’ll support me but as soon as things are shit…it’s sabotage. We’ve barely hung out the last two months than all of a sudden boyfriend issues come along (shocker…) she comes clinging back and than once he’s okay with her again she pisses off. I dislike people like that to a degree because I’m not here to be your good friend while you fuck me over.
I’m allergic to her cat and she honestly told me she didn’t think me wanting to sign ONLY a 6 month lease just in case I wanted to move to BC next summer was a good reason to not sign a year. wtf? If I only want to sign 3 months for whatever reason is a good reason. So she started making other demands which I shut her down with quickly. To be honest this friendship isn’t solid enough to move in together, and it’s going to end because I don’t want to move in with her. Or it’s going to go south pretty quickly once we move in together. I have huge doubts about this, only because I’ve lived alone for so long and the first and last time I had a roomate who was a friend…well we’re not longer friends because she screwed me over. Do I think this friend will screw me over? In a heart beat so I think once I start my new job and see the distance in driving I will get a good feel as to where I want to move. I will then tell her this is the area where I’m moving no questions about it, so if you want to be roomates still cool. If not oh well.
She doesn’t want to move far from her hot yoga studio because she feels the farther she is the lack of motivation she’ll have to go. No offense she doesn’t go now and since she restarted her weight loss in Feb she’s lost nothing, and EVERYTIME she’s with me she want’s junks it’s like a sabotage because I do good. She definitely doesn’t support me and my journey but expects me to care about her. It doesn’t make sense to me. Anyways I guess it’s pretty clear which root I’m going to head into the next few weeks but do you guys have any opinions on how to break it to her? I’m in a lose-lose situation either way so feel free to leave your opinions.
Thanks for reading, everyone have a wonderful weekend.