Diary of a Reforming Fat Girl

April 24, 2010

hello again! as you can see yesterdays post was not very in depth as usual, so i will catch you up to speed. I went out with some friends for dinner then drinks. it wasnt planned in advance but i went along with everything and enjoyed myself immensely. however the downfall is i consumed almost 2500 calories for the day, only got in a 15 minute walk (mostly uphill) and drank beer which has bloated me right up!!! not again!!! at least not like that. ugh. so frustrating after a week of such hard work, but alas it was a new day today! and i cant be upset about yesterday because i had planned for it to be a high calorie day in advance sine for 3 days i barely managed to get 800 calories, i figured my body could use some, just not the bad ones i chose lol

so yesterday:

food: 2500 cals

water: 115 oz.

exercise: 15 minute walk

today:

well today was a good day. i was very cautious about what i ate. i had my pre-measured cereal for breakfast then was out and about all day (bought the 30 day shred yikes!) then my mother prepared a fabulous dinner for my grandparents and myself and it was delicious to a degree i cant even describe. my father made pork loin and i had two very thin slices with 2 baby potatoes and green beans and a small piece of cornbread and a spoonful of wild rice and a delicious salad with strawberries and olive oil and rasperry dessing MmMmMm!!!! I dint want to stop eating but i did! and i also turned down the mouthwatering hot fudge sunday that was served for dessert! yikes! will power maxed out for the day i turned to exercise. got in a 3 mile walk away the pounds video and a 30 minute wii fit plus workout, so i feel good, i am just hoping the water i drank today will help flush out the remaining nastiness from friday!!!

my sister is starting her weight loss journey tomorrow, and we will have the same weigh in day and im sooooo excited so even though shes a few hours away we will still be able to support each other and know what the other is going thru since her goal is to lose 100 too!!!! yay healthiness!!!

so today:

breakfast: frosted shreddedwheat with 1/2c. super skim milk

dinner: 2 slices pork loin

2 baby potatos,

1 c green beans

salad with dressing and strawberry

1 small piece of cornbread

1 spoonful of wild rice

water: 115 oz

exercise: 45 min (3 mile) walk away the pounds AND 30 minute wii fit plus training

tomorrows weigh in day. im expecting a gain from my low of 230 this past week im praying that its not too far above 230.4 (which is where i should be at a rate of 2 lb per week) but im not too concerned because if the scale doesnt show what i want it to tomorrow it may take a few more days to work friday out of me and im sure the next week the results will show on the scale~!~

ill be back with  a number to update my stats

NSV: went to mcdonalds last night after drinks with my friend i purposely only ordered nuggets (no meal) they mess up and give us a free medium fry and i PASSED on the fries and only ate my nuggets, and they were hot mcd’s fries!!!! cmon, doesnt get much harder to pass up!!!!

~RFG~

April 23, 1010

Hello all~!~ another beauiful day outside and im soooo excited that my sister has decided to start her weight loss journey earlier than expected!! we have the same goal of losing 100 pounds and we have the same end reward: JAMAICA (see motivation pics page)~!~!~!~!~!~ yayayayayayayayayayay

i cheated again and stepped on the scale this morning… just couldnt help it! it did say 229.8 once but the other 2 times it said 230.0 so thats what im going with, BUT IM SO CLOSE I CAN REALLY TASTE THE 220’s~!~

April 22, 2010

Today has been pretty productive so far. Since I cheated and weighed myself (again) i found a pleasant surprise. I’ve lost 10 pounds! yay~!~!~!~!~ however since it is not my official weigh in day, i will not record that weight, and i will wait to see what the scale says this weekend. But 10 pounds was my first mini-goal and my reward is to clean out my car and get it washed! so i got most of the stuff out already, i just need to empty the trunk and ill be all set to go vaccuum it out and wash it down~!~

nightly update:

hey there 3fc world, i had another pretty fantastic day!! i did start my 10 pound reward, i vaccuumed out my car and took it thru a car wash for the first time!!! how fun! all i have to do is clean out the trunk and the armrest and glove compartment and itll be brand new again~!~

i posted a new page of my motivational pics of the resort in jamaica i may be staying at in a year!!! i can almost taste it!!! i was so busy running around today that i just barely had time to eat, while out on my 56 minute walk i realized that all i had had for the day was my cereal for breakfast a banana and then a quick cup of chicken and red peppers before the walk. now clearly that is not enough calories for the day, so when i got back from the walk i had a boca burger on 1 slice of whole wheat bread and some ketchup yummmm still probably lower than it should be but im not about to force high calorie high fat foods down my throat when im not hungry. i will just eat better tomorrow and remember to eat lunch!!!

for the day:

breakfast: frosted shredded wheat with 1/2c. super skim milk

snack: banana

dinner: 1c. sauteed chicken with red peppers and onions

and 1 piece of wheat bread, i boca burger and ketchup

snack: 1 freeze-pop

water:115 oz

exercise: 56 minute walk

the next 2 days i will spend focusing on getting to at least 230.4 (i weighed 230.6 this morning) but 230.4 on sunday will mean ive hit my weekly target of 2 pounds for the week, but i wont complain if the 220s want to peak on sunday, id like to see 229.8 lol then i could knock out the 220s like i did the 230s~!~

i also need to take some before photos, because im using cocoa butter to help minimize these “battle scars” so maybe pics will help document if it actually works~!~

til tomorrow

~RfG~

April 21, 2010

Okay! So i did a mid-week weigh in today… came in at 231.8… sooooo close to saying goodbye to the 230s and one step closer to the 220s… it will be nice to be able to say to myself that no longer am i in the 240s or 230s, but i will never be there again!

my official new motivation tool will be the trip to jamaica in june of 2011. that gives me just enough time to reach my goal (at a good rate of about 2 pounds per week) and then still have some time to tweak my weight if i feel that more of a loss is what would feel best. i have a feeling that once i reach 140, i may set my sights on 135, but for now i will focus my attention on the smaller steps (230,230,230,230…) while keeping the big picture in the back of my mind and pulling it out when i need that extra boost.

i have been keeping up with my water intake and i am going to go to my 2nd zumba class tonight, and then hopefully for a walk as well, i think as i progress adding more exercise will be the key. I am thinking about kickboxing, yoga and pilates… i want training that will tone my muscles and help with the skin tightening as i lose. ill update later~!~

afternoon update:

I feel really great! i forgot to mention that this week ive only been drinking water (hard to make room for anything else when youre hitting 115 oz of water daily) but even better than that i havent craved anything else to drink, which is ASTONISHING! if you knew me youd know that before this i only drank diet coke. no water. at all. maybe once every month id force a glass down. but now im really enjoying it. no i dont think it tastes like champagne, but im enjoying how light it makes me feel, which is unexpected. i truly thought that water was just going to be a means to an end. but i think that this will be a change thatll stick! i enjoy not feeling hungry all the time.  i just went down to the kitchen to refill my water glasses (i keep a couple at my side so it takes awhile to run out) and while i was there i stopped and thought (before i opened the fridge) if i was hungry. i waited and judged and decided i should eat something light with protein so i could make it through my work outs tonight.

just being able to do that has me on a high right now. i heated up 1 cup of sauteed chicken (with onions and red pepper) and its delicious, light, and will give me energy, and fill me up!!!!! gah!!!! im so psyched!!

People say its important to visualize yourself at your goal weight, and up until today it had been impossible for me to do that, and the whole picture still isnt there, but i can see my face a little, and i can see my smile, and for now thats enough to keep me going~!~

although i wont be focusing too hard on the goal weight i am going to start searching for pictures of bathing suits i may like~!~ yay~!~!~ no more hiding inside or under clothes while on a beach!!! 58 weeks to go! ill update later

~RFG~

nightly update:

so i zumba’d my little heart out then went for a walk in my grandparents neighborhhod, walked around my old high school.. im very proud of my eating today and im so happy i have such a great reward to look forward to. its just so romantic, the idea of me at my goal weight, feeling good about life, feeling healthy and then being able to go onto a beach in  swimsuit and feel comfortable doing so with other people around, which probably hasnt happened since i was 5. it will be very therapeutic.

i have 58 weeks to reach my overall goal i could make it there losing between 1.5 and 2 pounds a week.  which is totally obtainable just cut 500 calories per day or burn them off… its not going to be a walk in the park (it will be several) but its do-able which is what i have to remind myself. millions of people have been where i am right now and have succeeded~!~ if they can, so can i!

daily breakdown:

breakfast: frosted shredded wheat w 1/2c. super skim milk

snack: banana

lunch: 1c. sauteed chicken with red peppers and onions

dinner: 1 c sauteed chicken with red peppers and onions

water: 115+ oz.

exercise: 1 hour of zumba, 35 minute walk

~rfg~

April 20, 2010

I was literally too exhausted to write last night. After my first zumba class i was keyed up so my mother and i took a 45 minute walk. whew i was beat! it felt really good though.  Todays a stressful day, Im trying to take a break from my boyfriend so i can focus on myself and getting myself to a happier healthier place, but its not going so smoothly. I think it would be for the best, but we’ll see. aside from that one of my bestfriends birthdays is coming up in 2 weeks and shes getting a limo to take all of us around to different bars and clubs or whatever. I really want to look good, because well, who wouldnt… and these girls are very look-conscious… so in the next 2 weeks i may be stricter with myself regarding the kind of food i eat, just for this fact, not like crazy strict or unhealthy, just restrictig the junk food and focusing on the healthy instead of eating ANYTHING in moderation.. im not sure if that made sense, but hopefully itll help.

so far today i have been keeping track of my calories (yay) and tryng to visualize the long term benefits, so ill update later with my progress, i hope everyone else is doing good today too~!~

~RFG~

nighttime update:

ok so today was a pretty decent day, craving were wayyyy down, actually i didnt really crave anything that i shouldnt have.

breakfast:
frosted mini-wheats with super skim milk
snack:
banana
dinner:
split pea soup with ham
a light taste of sauteed chicken with red peppers and onions (was delish)
exercise:
50 min. walk

i feel pretty good, the walks are getting easier and i feel like the water is doing wonders for controlling my hunger.

i was informed that the day after my one friends birthday outing, i will be going to west virginia for another friends birthday for the weekend, im going to have to buy a nice water bottle so i can stay on track with that, and she lives in a nice neighborhood so i can do my walks early in the morning.

i talked to one of my sisters about what my overall reward should be once i lose 100 pounds, and shes convinced that it should be the trip to jamaica that she goes on yearly and that our other sister wants to go on too. I may have to change it because jamaica does sound very tempting and what better motivator is there than the dreaded BATHING SUIT!!!!

i think ive decided to weigh in twice a week. Perhaps once on saturday or sunday and once again mid-week just to see if i need to make any adjustments to my calorie intake or exercise. maybe ill try that for the next few weeks and see if it does me any good!

trying to stay positive ~RFG~

April 19, 2010

Ok, so ive found the secret to weight loss.. are you ready? here it is……. sleep all day!
ha, no of course im kidding but alas its 2:30 p.m. and im still in bed, so no news to report on water or food yet. interesting thought for now though:
“its not the height of the mountains ahead of you that are the problem, it is the pebble in your shoe.”

that quote really does alot for me, because i believe that some of the “pebbles in my shoe” are negativity from past failed attempts at weight loss, laziness, and just negative thinking in general, but once you get those out the mountain is just another hike, and it doesnt have to be uncomfortable or challenging if you take it one day at a time…
just something ive been thinking about…
update later !!!! ~RFG~

ok so i got up and ate breakfast and now im rethinking my goal rewards. instead of rewarding myself with the trip to london, i think my reward will be upgrading the tickets to business class.. that would be a greater incentive, also i know that no matter what im going to take this trip, but sitting in coach all the way to london might make me want to work harder lol plus ive only ever flown coach, so getting to my goal will open me up to new adventures!!!
i know ive read alot about how important it is not to weigh yourself everyday due to fluctuations, but i wonder if any of you weigh yourself everyday, every other day, once a week, one month? what works best??

for the day:

breakfast: banana and apple flaxseed muffin

snack: banana

dinner: split pea soup with ham

snack: apple flaxseed muffin

exercise: 1 hour zumba class and 45 minute walk~!~

and at least 115 oz water!!

April 18, 2010

Sunday! Still cloudy and gray in my area but thats ok!! Im actually excited to take a walk today! Also Im more determined than ever to drink all of my water. Ive heard that you should drink half of your body weight in ounces if you want to lose weight… so for me that would be like 115oz of water a day, which would equal about 14 and a half glasses. So im going to try that this week and see if it has any noticeable aide in my weight loss, I will definitely keep everyone posted!!!

i did something i dont normally ever do. I told someone other than my family and other than my very closest of friends that I was losing weight. I told a friend who I probably wont see for awhile, and now im shocked! Its a whole new motivator… like they are going to be looking for some change. And while of course im doing this for me and my health and my sanity its sort of interesting that telling him had some sort of affect on me. it made it realer than when i told my mom (who has supported me in the numerous and different weight loss attempts of the past) and my best friend (who is also working to lose weight).

Another motivator is that after 6 years of being out of high school i went back a few weeks ago after i had lost my first 5 pounds. And i ran into an old teacher. he was my ROTC drill intstructor and his eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped in a very cartoonish fashion, and he spent about an hour and a half talking about how “fat” id gotten. Well if thats not a slap in the face, pillow over the head punch in the gut i dont know what else is. Well that was another strange motivator. the anger that i felt in that hour just made me want to lose 100 pounds, come back and tell him how out of shape he was. now of course its not that simple. I knew this man for many years in high school and at that point (at least to myself and most of my peers) i was still “chubby” i was more than what most girls were at that point. in high school my weight fluctuated between 165 and 185. and he had seen both ends of the spectrum and had commented on it even then. So i shouldnt have been shocked at his reaction. but it still definitely hurt.

oh well, he will definitely be on my list of people to see in about a year!!!

Afternoon update:
I had a wonderful 45 minute walk although if you asked me while i was walking it would NOT have been wonderful. my shins were burnign and stabbing and aching but my mother helped me push through it, and reach my 45 minute goal!!! yay!!!!
I am 48 oz down as far as my water intake goes… at least 67 oz to go~!~
so far today for my brunch i ate a delicious homemade apple flaxseed muffin (low fat high fiber) and it was yummy~!~ my mother and i are planning to eat the last 2 pieces of spinach pizza for dinner tonight so i have that to look forward to and i wont have any temptation to eat more than one piece since there are only 2 left, double yay~!~ ill be back in the p.m. to update again
p.s. please leave links to your blog if you comment on mine, id really enjoy reading everyone elses!!!

nighttime update:
ok so i actually was able to get 115 oz of water in in the day and it wasnt that hard… and it definitely helped me not FEEL hungry. My other step with that is going to be breaking my habit of eating when i get bored. ive done alot over the past 2 years to curb it, but sometimes, especially at night it comes back with a vengeance ive tried knitting and reading and just going to bed… tonight ill try knitting again.

breakfast: apple flaxseed muffin
lunch: split pea soup
snack; banana
dinner: 1 piece spinach pizza
snack: apple flaxseed muffin
water: at least 115oz.
45 minute walk!!

April 17, 2010

Saturday, and a rainy day at that.  Got a new burst of enthusiasm when i stepped on the scale this morning and saw that it had (magically?) gone down again.  Well clearly there is no magic to it, I have been going on a heart-rate inducing walk every day this week with my mother around the neghborhood.  And so far just doing that has reigniting my weight loss. i guess i should start at the beginning?

my name is caitlin, im 23 years old and i am 100 pounds overweight. I topped off at about 245 at the end of last year but that was a dark and distant time, so startig this year March 7th i weighed in at 240.6. This is my “official begin weight”. That first week of tracking I lost 5 pounds and was ecstatic!! then i hurt my feet due to a bad pair of walking shoes and just lost my momentum… but alas if you fall of the horse you must get back on… and so here i am back on track over the past week i was back walking and kind of watching what i ate, well not so much what i ate but how much… and thankfully the scale dropped to 232.4 this morning.

my first order of business is to get back to my reduced calorie daily intake…. and to keep track, its so easy to lie to yourself if you dont write down what you eat when you eat it… or to convince myself that that bagel only has 100 calories (yeah right!!!)

then my next order is going to be getting that water in me… this may be the greatest hurdle for me. I know it sounds silly but i just am not good at drinking water… but i will be. Ill be the best water drinker there ever was because it is important and im focused

also i will keep up with my walks, even though these hills in this neighborhood hav it out for me… but i shall conquer them as well as my fat!!!

-RFG-

Afternoon Update:
i just went on a 45 minute walk, braving the cold and the rain, but it was well worth it. Pizza with the grandparents for dinner!!! yikes!! ill start chanting :One piece, One piece….
thank goodness its spinach pizza without sauce!!

Nighttime update:

I did stick to just one piece of pizza… however my mothers world famous banana bars were too much of a temptation!!! i ate about 3 1/2 of them and felt wayyyyyy too full!!! then i ate a bag of 94% fat free popcorn… ugh again unecessary… but im scarfing down water so hopefully thatll help!!!

so for the day that equals:

breakfast: egg beaters on wheat english muffin with salsa
lunch: frosted mini wheats
dinner: 1 piece spinach pizza
dessert: 3.5 banana bars
snack: 1 bad jolly time 94% ff popcorn
45 minute walk
at least 64 oz of water