Diary of a Reforming Fat Girl

February 28, 2011

So I’m back. I took all of my measurements yesterday and will updates my pages today. I also started the couch 2 5k program today. whew it wasnt easy. i was never able to run. when i was a kid i had asthma, and when i run my lungs just seem to seize. but thats why this is reforming fat girl VERSUS running. im not going to let it conquer me. i will conquer it. it may take awhile, but i will chip away at it little by little.

rfg

February 20, 2011

Hello, my name is Caitlin, and im a food-aholic. ****** I absolutely ABSOLUTELY turn to food to comfort/numb/comatose myself. When Im feeling stressed (always) or sad or happy or anything i turn to food, any food (except for salad amazingly)… and im just so disgusted with it… like absolutely disgusted. i started today off well, only fruits and veggies then i got bored and had a slice of (healthier-variety) pizza… then i was upset that i had the pizza so i ate a bowl of (multi-grain) cereal. its like a demonic snowball.

I am going to use this week to focus on getting back into an exercise groove (5-6 days a week of something more than walking with walking everyday) why did i stop walking every day? that little bit did so much???????? i must be insane.

What ive noticed is a history of self-sabotage. i do well, and then freak out about what that all means, and then i fall into bad habits and the comfort of what ive known for so long. its quite sad

but for every problem there is a solution. enough of the pity party, theres work to be done and i intend on doing it. i want to get a walk and/ora work out video will let you know how it goes

rfg

January 13 &14, 2011

Yesterday was crazy. CRAZY. long and crazy. went for my bloodwork in the morning and that went fine. then one of my best friends called me in a panic, unfortunately she had caught her boyfriend of over 9 years in a huge scandal and needed some support in kicking him out of her place. So needless to say yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster. so between being with her all day and taking care of her daughter (my goddaughter) neither of us had time to go to the gym. ugh. but we did manage to go out at night to take her mind off of things. which helped me because i had to get a smidge dolled up which helped refocus me on how i look in pictures etc. (the lil motivators to get me to the gym)

so today i work til 12 or 1, then i plan on working out. my back still hurts the weather still sucks but oh well…

~RFG~

January 12, 2011

another day down. No exercise today have been feeling dizzy, also pulled my back out 2 days ago, doesn’t seem to be getting better. Alas! Bloodwork and labs in the morning (fasting labs ugh) need to get some sleep so I don’t pass out when they take all of my blood tomorrow will be a better day
RFG

1.11.11

Hey all im doing this a lil early. im still at work but theres a snow storm out there and i know by the time i get home ill want to chill (after some form of a workout that is, of course) another blah day but good for weight loss. struggling with my water today for some reason but im sure once i work out ill be chugging it down. roads are awffffffullll so i guess its another workout DVD night which is much better than nothing

~RFG~

January 10, 2011

Another ok day personally but a great day for weight loss. I did get dressed and go to the gym but all the machines were taken and i felt like an idiot waiting so i came back to the house and did my TurboJam 20 minute workout followed by a 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD. I felt awesome showered and in chill mode now. Still working on my water but definitely going to have 100 oz for the day

love~!~

RFG

January 9, 2011

Day 1

Today was pretty good. It couldve been great but there are still issues with my family and friends that weigh me down. Personally, though, as far as weight loss is concerned today was awesome. I ate well and im almost at 100 oz. of water for the day and its only 8 oclock. I also went to the gym. Was on the elliptical for 30 minutes (felt longer) and walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes. both of which were my goals for going back to the gyn sincei havent been in such a long time.

now im all showered and tired and ready for bed (so i dont get the urge to open that damn fridge!!!)

~RFG~

January 8, 2011

Tomorrows the big day. Ive had some time now to get my head in the game. did some great grocery shopping today pretty excited… a lil nervous about going back to the gym tomorrow though, i know alot of the progress i had made with stamina is gone but i have to start somewhere lol learn from this lesson and get back to my healthy habits that made me healthy. instead of these unhappy ones that make me so depressed

cheers to a better tomorrow <3

RFG

January 7, 2011

OK! I am definitely missing the gym (remind me i said this a week from today lol) i feel like utter garbage, eating garbage not moving enough, not drinking water. can definitely feel the side effects and i dont like them. very much looking forward to sundays gym visit. tomorrow is grocery day~!~ woohoo~!~

Here I go again

RFG

January 6, 2011

another day closer to sunday, i have off from work tomorrow thankfully so ill have some time to plan and prepare myself for the dedication its going to take to make the next 12 weeks the best they can be~!~

RFG