It’s been a while since I updated my blog – yesterday marked the start of Challenge 3 of my yearly challenge – Make 2014 Your Goal Year. Challenge 2 went the wrong way entirely – I gained 10lbs (partly due to being in holiday mode for a good four weeks!) I did have a great holiday and all the yummy food was worth it, I’m slowly getting rid of the gain but still struggling. Once I came home from my holiday, I was still eating unhealthily. It took me a while until I could get back the motivation to continue one.

I’m back to where I started. But maybe this is a good thing? Maybe I needed to get back to my heaviest to realise how much I actually do want this. My biggest problem is that I know I want this and I want to be slim and have a healthy lifestyle, but I just struggle to stay motivated.

I’ve been at this for two years nearly now and it’s back and forward all the time. At first, I did well but after that it was up and down. It does get frustrating and I can make up a million reasons why this was the case but at the end of the day it is down to me and I have to learn how to balance food and exercise. After I did gain the weight after my holiday, I didn’t enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I was getting annoyed at myself for having no control over food anymore. I don’t know if this is a serious problem or just something I really just need to teach myself to do. Either way, I’m back again and trying again…

I went to the gym for the first time since February during the last week. It was definitely a struggle but I really want this – I just want to be happy in my own skin and with my body. And I will have to work for it. I know it will become easier as I go, but I’ve gone a 3 times during this week (and about to head there in a while before lunch) and it’s been tough each time. Naturally, I can understand this. I’ve been away from the gym for a while now. I’m hoping it will get easier each time.

Onwards and upwards from now on! And that means no looking back. I gained back any weight I had lost and I’m back to square one. I’ve started Challenge 3 today. My goal is 140lbs – a loss of 12lbs! Hopefully Challenge 3 will be where I can finally commit myself to this and I will see a real change in myself. 12lbs might be a stretch but I have a target in might that I would really like to reach.

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