Ups and Downs

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First of all: Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

February I stayed at essentially the same weight, I’m back up into the 250s.  I thought I’d conquered that “decade,” but my weight crept back up, I’m here again.  This past couple of weeks I managed to cut back on calories, except for one incident kept my hand away from the chocolate.  I did have a glitch when my boss bought all kinds of muffins and scones from the local bakery (I’m a sucker for scones and muffins).  I still managed to lose a pound last week.  With TOM (am perimenopausal) throwing a monkey wrench into the equation, I saw a spike in my weight that brought me down.  I’m in a big see-saw period in my life, going up 10 lbs, losing 10 lbs, going up 10 lbs…. well, you get it!

The New Year

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I’ve seen posts at 3FC about this year being less active with new dieters at the site (which I agree with).  I have seen plenty of ads and news stories on tv about weight loss, diet and health this past couple of weeks, and I have seen the bump in people working out at my local Y.  So though the economy may be the utmost concern for people, dieting still has its royal place in the hearts and minds of the American masses.  As for myself, I did overindulge over the holidays.  I felt “deprived” and stressed, and like I wanted to have fun and enjoy the goodies (which I did).  I’ve pretty much got back into the healthy eating, though there are still too many sweets around, sheesh.  And I went to the gym again last Tuesday and yesterday, and I’ve been exercising at home again (only skipped one night).  I’m working my way back down to my ticker 248 (red face).  I’m in my mid to lower 250s now.

I’m half tempted to say “this will be my year to do it!” I feel like I’ve said that too many time, and that I’d be better off to concentrate on sticking to the plan one day at a time, concentrating on that next loss, keeping it as consistent as possible, since consistency is one of my biggest problems.  It’s a process, it’s a road.  Here’s to plugging on down the road.

path

It’s Fall Again

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squirrelI haven’t blogged in a while, and that’s because last weekend I stayed in bed with a cold.  I didn’t get to the gym again until yesterday.  I have been doing some exercise at home.  But the walking has been curtailed, and the diet has been spotty (to put it nicely).   I’ve been having a hard time not feeling stressed out about work, and income and the future.  That’s part of the reason, I think, I got sick.  I’m also overtired.  And I tend to stress eat, which doesn’t help.

I took Friday off, and enjoyed about an hour or so walk checking out the little stores on Seventh Avenue.  It was cold, but still a gorgeous day.  Then yesterday, I went to the gym, and knitted and relaxed.  Today we went to church then shared a sandwich in the park and walked all around.  The fall colors are fantastic, and it was perfect weather, sun coming out now and again, in the low 60s.  Wonderful.  Finally we got to do something fun and relaxing after a couple of weekends of being sequestered due to blizzards and sickness.

So, time to get cracking again with the diet.  It’s easier at work, since I’m busy and take my food.

That Shrinking Feeling(!)

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I’m seeing 248 on the scale, hot dog!  and I just got a heavy TOM, so I should see it go down even more next Friday.  Today is a gym day.  Wearing my pants this past week, fresh from the laundry, they felt looser!!  I’m extremely thrilled by that.  It was seriously saddening to have my one pair get to the point where putting them on made me feel like I had sausage legs.  I managed to reverse that, and am well on my way to getting back down to 237 — the point where I was when I started my new job (and proceeded to balloon up by as much as 30 lbs, the highest I saw was 268).  Looking back, I let my eating get way out of hand, and didn’t have the energy or time to do the same amount of exercise.  I didn’t give up, and I kept plugging at it until I had it under control again.  May have taken me some time, but I did it.

The moral of the story, stick with it, and you’ll see results!!

Here’s a pic from our recent outing to Brooklyn Heights.

Into the 240s

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Today I finally made it back into the 240s.  I’m at 249.2.  I have 12 more pounds to make it back down to my lowest weight, the weight I was when I started my new job about a year and a half ago–237.  It’s been a stressful time, too, with lots of uncertainties and changes.  Gaining that weight felt demoralizing, and I’d thought it couldn’t happen, that I’d changed my thinking and habits to such an extent, I couldn’t imagine the possibility of the number climbing.

Not only did it climb, it climbed fairly fast.  I still went to the gym and exercised at home (less often), I still brought my lunch to work, but got treated several times a month to take out lunches, and I found myself dipping into the office candy bowl way too often.  I ate for pleasure, and I ate from stress, and I ate to treat myself, and to relax.  Not even super pigging out, but it was enough to pack on the pounds.  I tried to turn it around, and usually that resulted in me staying at the same weight, maybe dropping a couple of pounds, then I’d start eating again and gain it back plus a couple.

It took resolve on my part, and I didn’t say anything about the free lunches, but that became phased out because I think my boss became sensitive to my situation (I didn’t really say anything, my weight gain became noticeable as did my routine changes: upping the days I went to the gym and trying to take walks during the day).

So I work to take it one week at a time, sometimes one day at a time.  And I strive to keep my head on straight when I see the ups and downs on the scale, and to stay the course so I’ll eventually see the down, which has been working for me.  I’ve picked my hard, ha.

Food for a day…

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The New York Times ran an article about what people all over the world eat in a day.

Here’s a list of what I typically might eat:

Breakfast: Bowl of mixed cereals, skim milk, topped with a sprinkle of fresh strawberries and blueberries (in season); mug of coffee with whole milk

Lunch: sandwich on low cal wheat bread (cold cuts or chicken breast, tomato, cheese, swiss or cheddar, mayo); cantaloupe with blueberries; a can of V8; about 10 baby carrots (an orange, sometimes)

Snack: apple

Dinner: talapia over rice, asparagus; or could be gnocci with sausage and peas with parmesan cheese; or chicken breast with mashed yams and asparagus; or thin cut pork chops with rice and green beans

Snack: yogurt (Yoplait), or Swiss Miss chocolate pudding cup with a glass of skim milk

I got down to 250, but got my TOM from hell this week, which made that number go up.

Seeing the loss, but the road’s been up and down

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I’m finally back to my 3FC tracker weight of 251.  I let it sit at that number for all the months that I went up into the 260s, wavered there, dipped into the 250s, went back up, etc.  Then, when I finally hunkered down, stuck to the exercise and cut out many calories, I didn’t see those dramatic drops, like you see in the weight loss shows (that I overwatch).  No, I saw a couple of pounds drop in one week, it would go up slightly, 1/2 lb the next week, stay the same for a couple of weeks, then drop a couple of lbs in one week.  It added up to about 1lb loss a week, which is GREAT in my book, but mentally I had to get past those gain/non-loss weeks without letting it derail me.

Logically, I knew my TOM and the heat were affecting my numbers.  Emotionally, I just wanted to see some scale results from all the efforts I felt like I was putting into it.  I feel like when I look in the mirror, I can SEE the thinner me waiting there, when I’ll look better and feel better.  I need to work off this weight and be patient and trust.  I did go back to fitday and calculated my calories again, and then to the Mayo clinic site to get a good sense of my nutrition.  Those are great tools.  For me, my own head is my toughest obstacle — my cravings and emotional eating.

Getting back to my ticker weight is a real victory, and I’m going to savor it and keep moving forward.  Backsliding gets to be a big waste of time and effort, the more I can fix that in my brain and remember it, the better, I think, I’ll be able to stay with my plan and keep losing.

Down 10, do it again!

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I weighed in at 252 Friday morning, which is 1 lb away from where I left my ticker at 3FC, ha.  I did that during a heat wave too, which makes me feel extra proud of myself.  I expect to fluctuate a little next week due to the extreme weather, and because I didn’t exercise (walk) as much either (Thursday and Friday).  I’ve managed to find that diet and exercise balance to see weight loss at a good pace (10 lbs in about 5 weeks), a very fast pace for me, the snail loser.  I also lose in a jagged line way — three of the weigh ins had me at 255, then whoosh, 3 lbs came off.  I think it had to do with TOM.  As long as I’ve been doing this, I still had that doubt in my mind that I was screwing up somehow and needed to change something I was doing.  It’s mentally tough keeping the faith when my calories are low and I really feel like I’m focused and my weight basically stays the same.

I am dying to be back in the 240s again, and when I see the 3 lb-loss it feels eminently possible.  I hate that I let that hope and confidence plummet when there’s a little backtracking, due to indulging too much, or the weather, or both.   I do feel healthy, physically and basically with my outlook towards food and eating and exercise.  I just have to plow forward and keeping finding success.  A picture of cygnets becoming swans fits well in here!

Am I In It To Win It???

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Big bummer starting to wear summer clothes — and feeling that extra hug in my pants that wasn’t there last year.  My black short legs felt like Spanx(!)  Ok, they always fit a little tight.  Still!  This is the opposite direction, Marge, then the one you want to travel in.

Last week I got to the gym twice (on Saturday then on Tuesday).  I went on this Saturday again, after the gym I picked up a salad and grilled chicken breast enough for two lunches over the weekend.  I did my exercises in the evenings at home when I didn’t go to the gym, and got off the subway early to walk to the office one day, and have been walking to the stop further away after work every day.

Today we went to the botanic garden and walked like fiends all around, then home.  I had a salad with grilled chicken at the garden.  And I had 2 ice creams on the way home: one, an ice cream sandwich from a cart, then after we sat in the park for a while, a low cal scoop of tasti-whatever.  Not horrendous, but not really the ideal.  Granted, it’s a holiday weekend, and the first real weekends with great weather when we went out and about.  This weight loss, it’s a tough row to hoe.

Kindles over calories?

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I had my b’day this week, and my brother sent me a check (how nice is that??).  I told him I would use it part of it for a treat, and he said “I thought you were going to the gym.  Kindles over calories.”  How do fat chicks get through birthdays? ha.  The lime light, the cake, who’s eating cake? should you eat the free lunch?  Include lots of walking! (I went with my bf to a botanic garden on the actual day.)  So, my idea is to take the focus off the food, but I didn’t entirely accomplish that.  And you know there’s that emotional tie involved too — dad is late sending his card, so and so stressed me out or disappointed me, so I feel more like eating a treat (the emotional eating kicks in), or eating more of a treat than I might otherwise.

I felt (and feel) like I had to start focusing on the people who did nice things for me, were thoughtful and be grateful for all that I got, and to make the day special for myself.  Things never will be perfect, and certain things most likely will always be hard and a struggle.  Today I’m going to the gym.  I’ll eat mindfully.  I’ll cultivate hobbies and activities that bring joy to my life, and work on being someone people are happy to know.

rock garden waterfall Bronx Botanic

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