Dragonwoman64 aka Margie, well, Margie is my main persona, heh heh.
Here’s some background. I’ve been heavy since I was about 5 years old, and in my early teen years I got up to a painful 300 lbs. That was in the day when very few kids suffered from obesity (I’m 45 now, we’re talking the 70s).
I joined Weight Watchers about my sophomore year in highschool. I lived in Northern California, the East Bay, and to get to meetings I had to take the car to the local mall, Southland, once a week. I can still clearly picture the meeting manager, a tall, older woman with short red hair. I don’t remember much other than that about the experience except for being on a 1200 calorie diet and always being hungry. I lost a whopping 100lbs and got down to 200, but I still felt so much heavier than my friends and like I was so apart from the world, how sad!
At the end of college, I’d gained 40 lbs back, I went to Boston, then NYC, and gained more weight, until I hit about 280. At that point, I lived in Brooklyn, and I joined Weight Watchers again, up the street from where I lived in an office building. This meeting manager (they stick in my mind) had longish, hair, a brash fast voice, and carried a huge plastic cup of water with her everywhere. I lost about 25 lbs — and gained it back, plus quite a bit more over the next few years until I got to my highest weight ever in my life, 330.
Not a good time! I had trouble walking, sleeping, felt super crappy about myself, finding clothes that fit got difficult and depressing. I joined Jenny Craig. At the time, I lived in the West Village. The only JC offices were near Lincoln Center and Murray Hill, that meant that after work I’d take a subway to JC then a cab home with all the JC food. I did well on that program. The best thing about it for me was that I had a nutritionist/counselor that I got to talk to once a week; she weighed me in and we’d sit and talk about what worked and what didn’t. The program did cost some dough, and required I buy additional groceries besides the food they gave. It took lots of planning, and I did find myself constantly thinking about food, and when my next snack or meal would be. Not all the pre-bought JC groceries tasted that great, some of it was downright bad. Still, I lost around 40 lbs.
I ended up moving back to California for about 6 months…I totally caved to the stress involved with that, and gained back about 30lbs. Moved back to NY, went through several extremely stressful years, then had what I thought could be major health problem (turned out not to be), and that scared me seriously onto the path of health. After 2002, I changed my eating habits using what I’d learned from JC and WW, started exercising, started with walking and increasing and changing what I did over time, and changed my life.
At 270 (I define periods of my life by what I weighed at the time!) I overcame my extreme fear of gyms, ha, and joined the local Y. Once I hit the 250s, I still had the drive to exercise, but I’d let the “extras” diet wise creep up on me. Eating out was always a problem for me too, and I was doing that more. I started to gain and lose the same couple of pounds for (gulp) several years. Then as 2009 approached, I knew I had to turn things around and get back on track. I hired a personal trainer at the Y, and even though I still didn’t have the diet where I needed it to be, I was learning new ways to work out, increasing my upper body strength, and getting myself so that I felt guilty NOT being more diligent about my diet. I came back to 3FC where I try to read and post daily to help keep my focus and commitment.
Now I’m approaching the end of July 2009, and have been working out and eating well, and have seen a nice loss!! Very happy about that. My challenge will be to keep it up, and keep moving down. I know I can do it.