Big bummer starting to wear summer clothes — and feeling that extra hug in my pants that wasn’t there last year. My black short legs felt like Spanx(!) Ok, they always fit a little tight. Still! This is the opposite direction, Marge, then the one you want to travel in.
Last week I got to the gym twice (on Saturday then on Tuesday). I went on this Saturday again, after the gym I picked up a salad and grilled chicken breast enough for two lunches over the weekend. I did my exercises in the evenings at home when I didn’t go to the gym, and got off the subway early to walk to the office one day, and have been walking to the stop further away after work every day.
Today we went to the botanic garden and walked like fiends all around, then home. I had a salad with grilled chicken at the garden. And I had 2 ice creams on the way home: one, an ice cream sandwich from a cart, then after we sat in the park for a while, a low cal scoop of tasti-whatever. Not horrendous, but not really the ideal. Granted, it’s a holiday weekend, and the first real weekends with great weather when we went out and about. This weight loss, it’s a tough row to hoe.
I had my b’day this week, and my brother sent me a check (how nice is that??). I told him I would use it part of it for a treat, and he said “I thought you were going to the gym. Kindles over calories.” How do fat chicks get through birthdays? ha. The lime light, the cake, who’s eating cake? should you eat the free lunch? Include lots of walking! (I went with my bf to a botanic garden on the actual day.) So, my idea is to take the focus off the food, but I didn’t entirely accomplish that. And you know there’s that emotional tie involved too — dad is late sending his card, so and so stressed me out or disappointed me, so I feel more like eating a treat (the emotional eating kicks in), or eating more of a treat than I might otherwise.
I felt (and feel) like I had to start focusing on the people who did nice things for me, were thoughtful and be grateful for all that I got, and to make the day special for myself. Things never will be perfect, and certain things most likely will always be hard and a struggle. Today I’m going to the gym. I’ll eat mindfully. I’ll cultivate hobbies and activities that bring joy to my life, and work on being someone people are happy to know.