This year the autumnal equinox falls on September 22. What, you may ask, do I mention that? Well, I signed up for the Fall Equinox Weight Loss Challenge at 3FC, gave myself a 10 lb goal (which many others dwarfed with their goals). I have 6 lbs to go, and I have to admit (ok, I don’t have to, but I’m freely admitting it here) that it doesn’t look as if I’ll make that target. I may lose another 2 or 3 lbs, 6 strikes me as highly unlikely.
What happened? you ask. Nicely, but with a note in your voice, something like criticism, or disappointment, a little shake of the head. Right after I got back from vacation in Pennsylvania, my weight, miraculously to my mind, actually had stayed the same. A week later, the scale showed a 3 lb gain (!) I had a delayed upward blip! So, I’ve been riding on this see saw for a bunch of weeks of up a couple, down a couple. It’s not that unusual for me, but I had in my mind to be more focused, have a blog, post and read at 3FC as much as possible; that I would really do it! Not that I’m not doing it, I just have really continued in the weight loss way I’ve most always had, and can’t honestly say I’ve stepped it up all that much. I made Friday my official weigh in day, I may get it down to 241, which would be a nice mental boost for me. I went to the gym today, and ate well.
I’m not sure why I don’t do well at challenges. Maybe if I hadn’t gone on vacation. Am I being excuse laden? Am I not engaging myself enough in this battle? Do I not want it enough? Thoughts to ponder.
I’m feeling very bummed today. I have many life things on my mind, and I didn’t sleep well last night. An email friend of mine basically told me to leave him alone today, which hurt, especially since I’ve been away for a couple of weeks and he went away for several days, and this is basically just the second day we’ve both been around. I know he has serious things going on in his life; it still stung. I guess I wanted him to need my support as much as I feel like I need his. That’s not how it always works, unforunately.
I got to the gym Friday, Saturday and Monday, I made the routine shorter to work my way back into the groove. I think I was starting to burn out with the 2 hour workouts. I struggled doing that 4 days a week, then went back to 3. I’m thinking 4 shorter workouts might be better, physically and mentally.
I took up my knitting again, which I’m hoping will help me mentally too. I’m making a blanket for an aunt who’s ill.