Eating, the topic of endless interest….Part II

Posted by dragonwoman64 on August 5th, 2009 |Filed Under Eating |

Let me start by saying I think binge eating truly sucks.  That felt good.  Let me follow up by saying every one most likely has a different definition of what a binge is, so here’s mine:  I consider it binging when I emotionally must eat a certain food or foods, and I don’t feel I can stop until the amount of those foods I have on hand completely is finished, i.e., the donut box is empty, the pizza gone, the Dorito bag a flapping piece of plastic coated with orange dust.  If you were to ask me what causes this, even after having gone through therapy for it, I couldn’t tell you.  I guess I could yap on about it filling voids, etc., family dynamics that scarred me, being overly sensitive, having bad coping mechanisms.  I would imagine the reasons one suffers from binge behavior must be unique to each person.  I’m not a psychologist. 

I did work with a therapist who specialized in eating disorders (I consider myself a “healed” compulsive overeater).  And I did group therapy for a short while (which helped me get over shame and guilt feelings).  What I do remember making an impact on the binge behavior was an approach in a book Overcoming Overeating http://www.overcomingovereating.com/  The idea behind it is to get your mind to believe that you have the real choice to eat whatever amount of any food that you want, that you do have the power to stop eating at any point (and there are no bad foods).   In my mind, I had this thought that I would be coming to the end of the food, the bottom of the box, the last one in the bag, that created a kind of panic where I felt compelled to finish it.  To eliminate that binge inducing thought, I would have to have as many boxes or bags of whatever food ON HAND, so in essence I would have an unlimited supply.  Once the box got towards the end, I’d buy another one.  I did this experiment with old fashioned donuts.

For anyone who feels out of control of her eating, you’ll get that this is a scary process.  It scared me, and it helped me get past my binging.  I do not binge eat anymore.  Was it a fast thing?  No, it took me decades of my life.  Did it have to take that long?  No, but I kept going back on diets, which sent me back into a binge mindframe.  For me, for most of my life, there’s existed a fine line of dieting/binge behavior; I had a desire to lose weight for my quality of life, my health, my looks.  At the same time, I needed to find a way that wouldn’t drive me nuts emotionally.  Diets promote binge behavior in me.  How do I eat to lose weight (diet), and not fall into binge behavior. 

It turned out to be a slow process.  No more dieting (like official WW, JC, whatever), BUT I do believe in eating healthily and watching how much I eat.  I don’t eat anything I don’t like.  Exercise has been a lifesaver in the process, not only does it help me emotionally, makes me feel healthier, makes me healthier, it helps me to feel good about EATING healthier and eating in a good calorie range.  My eating and exercise habits have evolved and continue to evolve.   

And it’s meant I’ve had to work on dealing with my emotional issues in ways other than with food.  And it meant that I had to face many of my emotional issues.  That took time and effort too.  Sometimes a good stew takes time. 


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