Hello friends,

Today, I had a reasonable lunch and was pleasantly full. My co-worker suggests Starbucks. I decide that yes, I would like a small, java chip, non fat, no whip. I drink it slowly and enjoy it. Then, all of a sudden, I get jittery and hypoglycemic and uncontrollably hungry.

Instead of giving into my hunger, I stop myself and think about the situation for two minutes (or so). Point is, I didn’t just react blindly and reach for just any old thing to eat. I also recognized that this was my body reacting to this glut of sugar.

In an earlier post, I said that what your stomach/body tells you AFTER you eat something is just as important as what it tells you before you eat and when you eat. This was telling me that there was way too much sugar in this thing and it makes me feel sick and bad.

So, I decide to have some water. After I have some water, the hypoglycemia is still raging through my body. I decided to have a couple of bites of the remaining half of my turkey sandwhich (leftover from lunch). I had five bites and the hypoglycemia went away!

Listening to my body and then making decisions is so much better than reacting to it. I would have eaten something just as sweet or carb heavy back in the day, plunging me further into hypoglycemia.

I continue to listen to my body, be aware, learn and grow! Yay!

Xoxo,

E

Hello all

February 12th, 2013

Hi everyone! Hope you all have a great week. Been out of town and happy to say that I have not stuffed myself while on vacation. Gotta get some work started but I will blog soon.

Xoxo,

E

Breakfast…

February 8th, 2013

is not only an important part of the day, whether or not I am trying to lose weight.

More so, it is an affirmation that I am important. I am important enough to take care of myself and that I deserve the time and energy for myself to make sure I eat something fulfilling so I can thrive.

So breakfast is more than just a way to jump start weight loss efforts. It is a way to honor yourself, first thing in the morning.

Xoxo,

E

Leftovers!

February 7th, 2013

Here is a list of things that I have eaten only half of, given to my husband, or had to throw away. This never would have happened in the past. But now that I eat what I want, eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full, check out this list:

1. I bought three cookies from a bakery and gave two to my husband on Tuesday. The last one is still in it’s bag on the table! Amazing!

2. Half a glazed twist donut remains uneaten.

3. I only ate half a large sushi roll and gave the rest to my husband

4. There are still some cadbury mini-eggs in the freezer, and I bought them over a week ago.

5. There is still crackers and cheese from two shopping trips ago.

This is really crazy. Back in my bineging days, these foods would have NEVER gone uneaten! It feels really good to begin to be in control of myself and my own eating habits!

The Stomach Whisperer…

February 7th, 2013

Hello dear friends,

Now that I have bineging under control I am starting to realize something new.

How you feel AFTER you are done eating is just as important as how you feel before and while you are eating.

Let me back up and explain.

Back in the day, after every meal, I was STUFFED. Like stuffed to the max, where I would feel sick, bloated and nauseous. I very often just wanted to lie down and now want to think about anything.

Now, just like I can feel myself getting full and stopping once I am satisifed, I have become aware of the fact that my stomach continues to talk to me after I am done eating.

Right now, I feel pleasant. I don’t feel gross. I don’t want to die. I don’t feel ashamed and want to hide and my pants are bursting at the seems.

Sometimes I still do overeat, but not to the point that I used to. Here are the messages that my stomach has been giving me, even when I eat enough to be full:

“That food was too oily.”

“That food was too salty.” (more my mouth puckering and my tongue shriveling)

“The flavors had too much going on” (i.e I want something more simple and bland).

“That food makes you gassy (lol).

Amazing! More feedback that I could never notice because I was starving myself so much or overeating to the point of vomitting that I couldn’t even hear or feel myself think. I was so miserable that I didn’t want to.

The best part is is that I am starting to enjoy food and not have to dread going anywhere because of food restrictions I would put on myself. I think I am becoming one of those “normal” people!

YAY!

Xoxo,

E

The Trail-Mix incident

February 6th, 2013

Today I found victory in trail mix.

I had “one of those days” at work which ended with a stressful situation. My co-worker dropped me off close to my house so I had to walk on a main street to get back to my place.

All of a sudden I was overcome with this IMMEDIATE NEED FOR CHOCOLATE. ANY CHOCOLATE. OR ANYTHING SWEET.

I was also shaking and I felt my blood sugar crashing (I’m not diabetic, but I guess maybe I didn’t eat enough or something I had for lunch set it off). Point being I am feeling crazy and I am in a neighborhood filled with bakers and convenience stores filled with asiles and asiles of candy.

But then, I did something I don’t ever recall doing. I stopped and thought to myself:

“Okay, I want chocolate, I must be stressed out.”

Once I had that thought, I kept walking. Then I pulled a bottle of water out of my purse and had some water to drink, just to break up my thought pattern. I felt better. I kept walking and I felt better. I told myself that I would complete my errand and see how I felt then.

I listened to my body. The intense need for chocolate had lessened, but I was still feeling hypoglcemic. In my mind I immediatley thought of trail mix and I headed straight for the drug store where I bought a pack for 99 cents. I knew the protein in the nuts and the sweetness of the fruit would help me feel better, and was a lot better for me than chocolate.

So I had the pack of trail mix and finished my errand. As a matter of fact, I was able to complete my errand and walk all the way back home without even thinking of the chocolate.

What a behavioral victory! I didn’t binge on something because I had a crappy day. I was able to make a decision and still take care of myself! Yay!

Xoxo,

E

The burrito incident

February 4th, 2013

Hello friends,

Today, I went out to lunch and ordered a burrito. And I only ate half of it and I am still full.

I am so amazed at what biting, chewing and swallowing can do. I guess for the last 32 years, I shoved food down my throat in shame or a binge so I was used to eating way more and feeling sick because of it.

Back in the day, I would have eaten a whole basket of chips, a whole container of guac and a whole burrito with a large soda.

I am happy to report that I ate only half of a burrito and was satisfied. I also had oatmeal earlier in the day with grapes, apples and almonds.

I have been working with Geneen’s principles since right before Christmas and I am starting to see solid improvement. I have been learning not to myself any food I want to eat or buy.

Another great thing I have noticed is that I bought a bag of Cadburry Mini Eggs last week and have not devoured the entire bag! Amazing. I think I still have half left.

I know this must sound stupid to a naturally thin person, but all that jazz of not waiting to eat until you are raging hungry, eating what you want and stopping when you are full actually is working.

The thing is is that it is working slowly.

Like I said, I would rather gain weight while developing the right skills for eating rather than going a quick diet and being terrified of gaining weight.

Thanks for listening my friends. I am looking forward to making vegetable quinoa for din.

Xoxo,

Etherence

Good morning

February 4th, 2013

Hello friends.

This morning I was proud to feed myself a healthy breakfast and begin to realize that I am worth 15 minutes in the morning to make sure I am fed. In the past, I would be rushing out the door to make sure that everyone else was fed except for me. I would also rush to get to work early so I could get a head start on the day. Well no longer. I am going to make sure I am taken care of first. That will lead to better eating and life habits.

January 3, 2013

February 3rd, 2013

Observation:

Today I had pre-packaged ramen soup with vegtables. I am glad because I ate at the table, added vegetables to it and ate slowly and until I was full.

Consideration:

I will continue to incorporate more vegetables into my life and will reduce my use of pre-packaged food such as ramen

Obeservation: I ate two bratwursts. One was at the table, with a knife and fork. I really chewed each bite and felt the bits of meat across my tongue. The second one was straight off the fork on the couch while watching television.

Consideration: Once I no longer want to eat at the table, it probably means that I am full. Also, when eating off the fork I definitely did not chew the second brat as carefully. I gupled it down and felt is in my stomach.

Observation: I wanted chicken wings. Badly. Then I thought about it. Why did I really want chicken wings? Was it because of the superbowl? I opened the fridge and made tostadas with avo, tomato, onion, lettuce and cheese, as well as refried beans and on baked corn tortillas. The craving for wings passed, I saved money and didn’t eat buffalo wings.

Consideration: I have only been three months into healthier habits of eating. I need to continue to be patient with myself and consider to observe my eating situations. Most importantly, I still ignore my body’s wisdom when it tells me something. Why?

Xoxo,

E

Resolution

February 3rd, 2013

I would rather gain weight while I learn the skills of what I need to be truly healthy, both physically and mentally. I will not adhere to an unrealistic diet plan only to be thin and fearful of gaining weight yet again

Life/health/eating skills I have learned and continue to build on every day:

1. Eating at the table.

2. Chewing my food, not inhaling it.

3. Drinking water with meals.

4. Waiting to eat when I am hungry.

5. Stopping when full

6. Allowing myself to eat when hungry

And the most important:

STOPPING BINGES! NOT STUFFING SELF UNTIL I AM FULL! Thank you Jesus!

Xoxo,

E