www.wellsonuvabitch.org March 6, 2013
Ever have a day that ends in you hobbling in the middle of a snowy street, holding your hands up to the heavens in a fuck-my-life kinda way, while plaintively asking Why, God, why? Cue loud orchestral music and crash zoom to the half bemused half please-kill-me look plastered across the face of a gimped up girl leaning on her boyfriend for support in the middle of a snowy road, because she destroyed her lower back shoveling snow, and then thought it would be a swell idea to walk it out. So, that happened last night. I really enjoy shoveling snow, and it was snowing a-plenty last night, so I get the bright idea that I could use snow shoveling as one of my exercises for the day. I’ve not shoveled at all this winter, because I’ve been having lower back issues, but yesterday when I woke up I drank a fresh can of let’sdosumthindumb which led me to throw caution to the wind. I wanted to be outside and get some fresh air. End result: fresh air was done got, and my back broke up with me. She decided she wanted to start seeing other people. After forty minutes of shoveling with one of our two fancy dancy ergonomic shovels, my back told me to go to hell and hopped on the last train out of here. I flopped forward onto the snow covered front of Eli, my blue Honda Civic Si. There I twitched for some minutes until The Cubs noticed that I was practically doing a face plant into the pile of snow covering my beloved car. I thought if I took it easy with the shoveling I’d be just fine. I thought the ergonomicness of the magic shovels would protect me.
|you lied to me, asshole. you lied.|
Nope. Ouch ouch ouch. Now I am no stranger to lower back pain, but geez. I was all gimped up and listing to my right side all crazy like. Generally, my back is sore in the morning, and walking and yoga will loosen it up and get it back to normal. Last night I thought that if we took a walk I could wiggle out the shooting pains. We wandered the snowy streets, me using The Cubs as a make shift quad cane (I grumbled that we didn’t have one in the garage cause we aren’t eighty), and stopping every so often because of the pain and discomfort. It was so beautiful last night with all the snow, and I was happy that my fella was willing to take a snowy night time walk with his temporarily crippled girlfriend. After fifty minutes I decided to call it quits. We got home and I did spine twists and stretches. I took ibu profens and chased ’em down with Nyquil for good measure because that’s all that was in the house. (I rarely have medicines around here)
Today I bit the bullet and decided to call my chiro who I’ve not seen in many years. He fixed me up so well that my lower back was actually great for a number of years, but I have known for the last couple of years that I really needed an adjustment. Who knows why I have put it off for so long. I am hoping that they can get me in over there on Friday, because otherwise I’ll have to wait until Monday. Bleck.
The pain brought up interesting (and sad) memories. It’s funny all the crazy shit that I push down and repress, and don’t allow to surface until I am twisted up in knots and curled in the fetal position on my hardwood floor. Wait. Did I type the word funny back there? Hmmm. On the plus side, the forty minutes of shoveling and fifty minutes of hobble/walking were definitely enough to burn off my four hundred calories for the day. Add to that about twenty minutes of yoga stretches as I attempted to position my spin back into its rightful and god given place, and I got in some decent activity yesterday. Snow hobbling is the new winter sport that I have created. Shit, it beats curling hands down. Curling has got to be the silliest thing Canadians ever came up with apart from Bryan Adams.
Today I had to call off the hardcore cadio session with Xrisi, because I don’t want to put myself in the hospital. I will not be drinking any additional cans of letsdosumthindumb this week. The quota has been filled. Not only am I still a bit uncomfortable (it’s nowhere near so bad as yesterday though- thank you, goddes!), but I am super emotional. Ha ha ha, another fun thing on the plate is that I am pmsing like crazy, but my goofy period hasn’t bothered starting yet. I’ve been getting cramps, and have a severe case of the crazies. I’ve never got cramps before starting my cycle before, so I don’t know what the hell is going on with my ovaries and uterus. Brutus the uterus, please give me some peace and get going already. Maybe it is all the daily cardio and workouts? All I know is that I may start bawling at any second, and that I think I need some chocolate chip cookies.
In spite of all of this, today I am going to do a little light yoga for my back (it helps, it really does), and then do a bit of upper body stuff with the hand weights. No bending over or any of that, but I can still work my arms a bit. I don’t want to succumb to the temptation of doing absolutely nothing. I want to move forward even if my movement is only one single baby step.