bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

awwww, fuck it May 31, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:30 pm

Two tears in a bucket, mother fuck it, as the saying goes.  All the people that I am in contact with in this ridiculous city of limbo seem to be in crisis.  My cousin has been bursting into tears for the last couple of days.  She is concerned about finding a place to live that she can afford.  God help me.  I’m not sure if she’s trying to work on me until I snap and say that we can live together in a different place…  I want to be supportive, but I told her that Cubs and I would likely be moving out of the city.  Far far far the fuck away.  Tonight I heard her crying in her room.  I told her it would work out all right, but I don’t know what else to say.
Sparks is currently getting pissed at me every other day, because of some nonsense that doesn’t even make sense.  Apparently if I invite her to do something with us when I am already doing it, well, it upsets her.  Wha?
My mother is considering leaving my stepfather.  I’m just waiting for her to suggest that we get a place together.  BAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Yeah, that would never happen.  I think I’d rather poke out my eyesies.
I had a wee flip out moment today, because I’ve had a “stress” stomach ache for the past few days, and it totally blows.
My weight is up several more pounds, and I know this because I thought that it would be a super great idea to weigh myself today even though I was already in a crummy mood.  Ug.  Bad bad idea.

Jewlz commented on my last blog, and it really got me thinking.  She said that it seems that I wish to lose weight stress free from maintenance mode.  That is spot on correct, and I am wondering if I am just kidding myself.  And I thank Jewlz for mentioning it, because it seems my head might be off in La-La -Land.  Yeah, it’s true that I want to be cured of my food crazies, and not just lose weight, but I don’t want to gain weight either.  This really couldn’t have happened at a worse time.  Honestly, I think that it is stress more than anything because my eating hasn’t been too bad.  What really sucks is that I’ve been working out a lot and staying active, and I gained weight anyway.  I don’t look heavier.  I look like I have more tone.  Couldn’t I at least have maintained so that I wouldn’t flip out?
So I think I’m going to detox ten pounds away so that I can be under 200 again, because I can’t stand the extra flab in my face.  Anything over 193 is just too damned much, and I have no business weighing more than that amount anyway.  Cripes.  I think I’ll do about ten days of the rice diet, and then do a salad, veggie, and grilled chicken spiel for another ten days or so.  I have gone from being secure that I could slowly lose weight without a huge hassle to completely freaking out because I gained a little.  Sigh.  This is the crazy flusters, for sure, but knowing that doesn’t make it easier.
So, yes, I’m going to diet even after swearing to myself that I wasn’t going to do that stuff any more.  I will keep reading my books and doing the affirmations, and stay conscious to avoid binges after I stop dieting.
I am so annoyed with myself right now though.  I go back and forth and rollercoaster so bloody much that I feel like a fool.  I don’t know how anybody could read my blog and not end up thinking that I am a flippin’ psycho.

 

food crazy flusters May 27, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 10:14 am

I am sitting here thinking about doing Jane Fonda and getting my day started, but my brain is in morning fog mode, so maybe I will let it clear a tad.  My brain stays in morning fog mode until around noon.  It’s kind of annoying.

I am also thinking about how to cure my food crazies.  I re read a couple of Geneen Roth books so that I could rekindle all the weight loss and positive changes that were happening to me in Sarasota.  (Munchberry doesn’t like Geneen Roth, but she never got around to telling me why.  Why, Munch, why?)  My over eating tendencies have stopped again, and I am back in the habit of taking long walks/ hikes and doing half hour morning workouts.  I force myself to be conscious when I am eating.  I have realized that I truly dislike the sensation of being “full.”  And I am not talking being stuffed.  I am talking about eating just enough so that my tumbly sensors trigger that first hint of fullness.  For many reasons I’ve always been tuned out just enough while eating that I have never realized how strongly I dislike even a hint of the fullness feeling.  I’ve discovered that I like to be running on three quarters of a tank.  I prefer the lighter sensation as it gives me more energy and motivation to stay active.

The other day we were all eating dinner and playing this game called “Desert Island —- .”  The game doesn’t make much sense; all that you do is pick your top five movies/ books/ outfits/ foods/ or whatever that you would want to have if you were stuck on a lone island.  Suspend belief and pretend that for mysterious reasons that perhaps only viewers of Lost can accept that it is possible to watch movies on the island.  Oh, and your top five desert island foods will magically manifest themselves whenever you want them.  It’s just like that, guys.  So my number one desert island food happens to be caesar salad made with spring greens, spinach, loveage, mushrooms, cucumber, tomatoes, sprouts, carrot slices, and peppers.  Throw in some croutons and give it to me with or without grilled chicken depending on my mood.  Yep, that’s right.  Salad is somehow my top fave with the right dressing and fixins.  Number two would be a grilled turkey and cheese.  Three is probably just fresh baked italian or french bread with butter on it.  Four and five aren’t really settled items, and would change depending on when I was asked.  Today I think mixed fruit salad (just the fruit plain, none of that whipped topping coconut crap) and tabouli would make the cut.  My food picks are pretty good for a gal who is forty pounds over her desired weight.

Thinking about food all the time is a wacky habit.  I realize that I do not want to reach my desired weight and still be food crazy, and that that is the worst and most torturous outcome of all.  I want a cure, not a diet to mask the symptoms.  I want to drop the obsession.  My quest seems to have shifted focus.  The end goal is no longer a number and a size.  I want to feel relaxed and ok about and around food.  I want to feel relaxed and ok about my emotions and myself.  I’d like to get to a point where I am never afraid to be seen. My desire is to achieve a feeling of acceptance and appreciation.  Losing the weight and keeping it off for years didn’t make me feel noticed, loved, or respected.  I still felt insecure, lonely, somewhat isolated, and out of place.  Back then I eventually translated those feelings to “Well, I probably need to lose twenty more pounds.”  It’s so fricken silly that I feel embarrassed typing that.  As if thinner girls never feel insecure, lonely, angry, betrayed, or sad.  As if having a pretty body is a panacea for all the woes in my life.

I know that I have to believe that I deserve to be noticed and appreciated and the rest will follow.  I have to choose people who will support and respect me if I wish to be supported and respected.  My hunger all these years hasn’t been about food; my hunger has been about being loved and nurtured emotionally.  My hunger has been about wanting to find my place in the world.  My hunger has been a longing for positive and supportive relationships.  Food doesn’t do anything for that kind of hunger no matter how much I stuff in there.  When the areas other than my stomach are being fed daily in my life then my food crazies start slipping away and lose their power over me.

So these are just my morning thoughts, and I wanted to get them written down.  I am trying to let go of the idea that I should lose X amount of weight in X amount of time.  I have stopped using my scale (AGAIN), and am resisting a very strong urge to try to do the master cleanse to force a faster drop in my weight.  I can visibly see body differences, but obsession over the number still lingers like a fart in an elevator.  Part of me wants to smash the damn scale with a hammer just to get it out of the house for good, but I have already done that two times in the past, and both times I ended up buying a new (and fancier) scale.

It’s on, motherfucker.

I am trying to get my stubborn self to just allow me to eat normally as my body dictates and exercise regularly and let the weight come off oh so slowly.  I believe that if I could prevent diet/binge cycles from happening anymore that I’d probably drop back down in a year’s time.   Jitterfish posted an interesting blog about the mathematics of obesity ( here it is ) with a link to a body weight simulator that I have been tinkering with.  When I punch in all the numbers it confirms my theory that a year of no binges and normal eating plus several thirty minute workouts and several ninety minute walks a week (ninety minute walks are the minimum length that we usually go for, but typically we go for two or three hours) would equal a relatively pain and effort free loss of forty pounds in a year.  I have to give up the desire to lose everything quickly.  The quick hustle ends in ravenous binges that defeat the purpose.

Bleh.  I want to believe that I can just eat like a non food crazy being and keep active for the rest of my life.  We shall see.

 

updates (that I just updated) May 26, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 7:10 pm

This week has been going quite well.  I made a couple of crystal sales (not a lot, but things are finally picking up- woo), and my shop is getting tons of views and favorites.  The tips I received from other users with successful shops have truly helped, and are making me feel increasingly optimistic.  My current etsy shop goal is to make one thousand dollars in profit every month.  This isn’t money to retire on, this is my “fun money” goal.  The etsy shop is its own separate entity, and is completely different from selling in person, but I am determined to have a thriving shop that pulls me in plenty of spending cash.

I now have one of my tables, a really pretty yellow table cloth with a dot pattern, table cloth clips for windy days, my first black velvet necklace display (still need a few more of these and a t-bar, but one is a start), a super sweet treasure chest lookin’ box that was fifty percent off at hobby lobby (so, it was ten bucks- woo!) and holds the following: two brightly colored money boxes (one for money, and the other for business cards, i phone stylus, counterfeit money pen, and a regular pen), my square credit card scanner, small product bags, and a wee pink piggy bank named Hoover that Cubby got me for good luck.  Last night I made a few signs letting folks know that I accept credit cards.  I also set my table up in the gypsy room just to see how everything looks, and I was pretty pleased with it.

So I still need a tent, tent weights, and some more display items, but things are coming along.

I am also doing aerobics regularly again, so that’s a good thing.

Gotta go- stuff to get done.  Hope everybody is doing well.

Ok, home for the evening, and I felt like doing a tad more blogging.  I have some blogs to catch up with, and am annoyed at myself (once again) for getting behind.  Grrrrrumble.

So I am doing Jane Fonda upon waking again, and it is already making noticeable changes to my body shape.  I started doing the beginners workout (my stand by) on Monday, and then decided to switch my shit up to eleven to get things going.  I am now doing the advanced workout.  And by “doing” I kinda mean trying to keep  up with the sleekly svelte and athletic eighties nerds prancing about on the television screen.  God bless ‘em, some of those exercises I just can’t do that fast!  The entire beginners workout is thirty minutes long.  The advanced is an hour long, and I am only doing the first thirty minutes at this point because I don’t want my heart to explode or my limbs to snap off.  At the moment thirty minutes covers the warm up, arm exercises, waist exercises, and abs, and that’s enough for me for the time being.  I don’t bother with the legs, butt, and cool down section, but I may start doing them if the mood strikes.  Honestly, I kinda love my legs and butt, and have never considered them problem areas.  And that isn’t to say that my butt isn’t the size of a baby mammoth, cause it totally is, it just doesn’t bother me.  I’ve always been totally cool with my mammoth ass and big thighs.  On the other hand I have never liked my arms and belly, so overworking them is just peachy.  My waist line already has more of a dip, and my ab line is becoming more apparent already. Triple yay.

I’m not following any particular diet, but I am sticking to two meals a day (three just ain’t good for me) and not eating breakfast.  I only eat when I am hungry, sooooo I don’t eat breakfast anymore because I never get hungry (for the most part) until noon or one.  I’ve been eating lots of salad, and craving sushi constantly.  The next grocery trip I make I am getting all the sushi fixins and learning to make it myself.  I ate that stuff like crazy in Florida, but it is way more accessible (at affordable prices anyhow) there than it is in my area.

I am trying to live life without being obsessed with diets, my weight, and food, but it is tough.  I am trying to cure myself of being food crazy, but it is tough.

My mom told me I had weight problems that I would suffer from for the rest of my life when I was maybe six or seven.  At that time I might have been a tad baby fatty, but I didn’t have weight issues.  She took me to join Jenny Craig with her when I was so so young, but they refused to let me join because DUH, YOU HORRID BITCH, you can’t put a seven year old on a restrictive diet.  After that I was convinced I was fat (cause mom said I was a bunch of times) and I started an insane cycle of starving and bingeing.  So.  It’s tough shaking those old, stupid patterns.

Eat when you are hungry.  Don’t eat when you are not hungry.  It should be easy, but I still have the urge to fast and restrict myself so that I can lose weight faster.  Double triple sigh.

 

this one isn’t about urine, i swear May 20, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 11:33 am

I haven’t been able to get in more than one post a week it seems, which leaves me with way too much catching up to do when I manage to squeeze in the weekly blog.  To make up for that I will do two posts today.  Yay!

I have been working on advertising for my etsy shop.  I’ve been mainly focused on The Ten Moons, and am thinking about just putting all my jewelry at this shop instead of using two separate ones.  I know that they suggest only having a couple of products at a shop, but I don’t know if I want to keep tinkering around with two shops at this point.  Plus, I have a thousand business cards printed out for my Ten Moons shop, and none for Journey Notes.  Perhaps if the necklaces take off it will be more convenient to put them back onto their own page, but for now… meh.

I have a ton of new stuff that I need to post, but I’ve been waiting around to borrow my mom’s camera again.  She keeps forgetting it.  It makes the picture taking process go faster and more smoothly, but perhaps I should just give up on using the damn thing.

Want to do me a solid?  ”Like” my facebook page for The Ten Moons.  Click on that link back there- you know you want to.  Apparently, when I get to 30 “likes” something interesting is supposed to happen.  I am not sure what it is exactly, but I will share it with you when the event occurs.  I don’t know how useful having that will be, but it was suggested as free advertising, so I am giving it a try.  I have been joining tons of circles on Etsy, and got invited to be in a sellers group.  I accepted, and one of the group leaders has been corresponding with me and sharing tips.  My items are getting lots of “favorites” and my shop is getting favorited a bunch now, but I’ve not made any more sales.  I will not give up on my shop though.  It is seriously one of my dreams to have a successful Etsy shop, so I’m going to keep plugging away at it.

I also finally got around to joining pinterest.  It is kinda like girl-crack.  You know how much I love creating dream boards?  Well, pinterest is kinda dream boardesque.  I avoided it before, not wanting to fall into any more time-sucks, but it was recommended that I have a pinterest board for my etsy shop.  The girl who runs the etsy team that I joined told me she definitely gets sales from her facebook page and pinterest page.  She has a pinterest board for our team which shows products from all the team members, so I decided to do one myself.  So find Deonn Paul (me) on pinterest and check her boards out, all you pinsters.

I should be getting tables and a tent this week, and want to be out and about selling by the first weekend in June.  Perhaps even this weekend, if I can get everything together fast enough.  I am not going to take the necklaces, but I will be taking the crystals and some art work that I did a while back.  There are a few pictures I created that I am totally willing to part with, so I’ll tote them along to see if I can get any takers.  I want to get a few wind chimes done to bring with, so we will see how that goes.  My plan is to eventually have crystals, wind chimes, a limited amount of my collage art, and little goddess shrine boxes.  I made two of the goddess boxes as Christmas gifts, and absolutely loved the result, so I’d really like to make more of them.

I was checking out some etsy shops that I like, and one of them has wholesale listings for stores to purchase.  I thought it was a smashing idea, and am going to put up a couple of “lot” style listings myself.  I can easily make displays and send them along with a dozen crystals for shops to resell.  How cool is that?  I really want my stuff to be sold in stores all over the place, and this might be a way to get that dream going.  My crystals are sold in two shops in town, but wouldn’t it be neat if I had items being sold in fancy stores in New York and San Francisco?

Well, I need to go pick up some more hemp cord from Michael’s.  I really wish that Hobby Lobby was open on Sundays.

 

it just doesn’t get better than this

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 9:28 am

Yesterday we had a spectacular day.  Cubby, Sparks, and I went to the zoo in Milwaukee because it was such a gorgeous day.  (There are four zoos within reasonable driving distance of my home, so we go to all of them each year)  After the zoo we walked around in Mayfair mall a bit, visited Sparks’ fella at work, and then went to an extremely late dinner at Mongolian Grill.  AWESOME day.

And now we get to today.  I wake up to a messy kitchen, which is typical and drives me shit city insane, so I just suck it up and clean it the way that I do most days.  Cubs was helping me, and we were trying to figure out what to do with the day.  I kinda wanted to do a once over house cleaning (I sort of have to a lot to keep the place tidy) since I was already knocking out the kitchen.  I took a few things down to the basement to start a load of laundry, and could not help but notice my big purple blanket with flowers embroidered on it crumpled up on the basement floor.  It was soaking wet.  And then I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, and went back upstairs and asked The Pants Pee-er (who was playing games on his laptop at the dining room table) why it was down there.  You see, it is ALWAYS on either the giant purple couch or the giant purple chair-and-a-half (which is a fricken love seat, so I don’t know why they call it a chair).  The purple blanket is the one that gets draped over the furniture for use during movie viewing snuggle times.  He said, “Oh, I accidentally wetted it, so I threw it down there.”  So I responded, “You wetted it.  With pee.  It is down there soaked in pee?”  And he said yeah.

Now, some of you have called me graceful and have complimented the way that I deal with things.  I ask you, how the fuck am I supposed to deal with a ten year old pissing all over my stuff?  I went from cheerful as hell to feeling the unmistakable and over powering urge to punch, scream, and kick at something.  Have you ever felt your crazy switch get flicked, and suddenly it’s, like, tantrum time at the zero hour?  Mmmhmmm, that’s about where I was at.  I asked how he managed to pee all over that blanket, and said that if he kept peeing himself I was going to forbid him from sitting on any furniture.  Ever.  And then it dawns on me.  Gosh, that blanket was absolutely drenched with some ten year old’s urine.  Where was he when he piddled all over that thing like some retarded cocker spaniel?

Gee, sorry.  I was too busy playing my DS to get up and go to the bathroom.

I go on ahead and ask, knowing that it isn’t going to be pretty.  He says, “Oh, I was on the couch.  It was really wet, so I flipped the cushion over.”

Quelle horreur.  The demons of nightmare world come riding into my heart on gangly goats with twisted horns and overgrown hooves.

He pissed on my god damned chair and a god damned half and then flipped the god damned cushion over.

It is a good thing that as soon as the demons of nightmare world hit my heart I go into a kind of shock.  Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely angry as all get-out, but there is a sort of numb quality to the anger, and it is this numbness that settles into my limbs, and prevents me from going on a bee stung bull rampage and just pummeling the bejesuses out of this goofy flippin’ kid, and his goofy flippin’ mother (who is like my sister, and I love her, and she is a really strong and amazing person, and she just happens to have a son who happens to be the grossest child I have ever met).  I flip the cushion over, and there is a giant wet spot.  It is a lake.  It is a lake of piss and it is on the underside of my much beloved purple love seat cushion.  I knew my furniture was passed its prime and needed an upgrade, but this is ridiculous.

Insert pants pee-er’s name here, this is soaked.  You can’t soak a cushion with pee and then just flip it over.”  My voice was desperate.  I did not know what to do.

I hosed the cushion down with cleaning products and scrubbed.  It is now air drying.  I went upstairs and screamed into my pillow.

Any advice on this one?  How does one respond to such delicate circumstances?

 

birding, and kiting, and salsa, oh my May 12, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 8:08 pm

Howdy y’all.  I have been reading a ton, birding a ton, and trying to keep active.  The weather has been nice, so I’m not spending a whole lotta minutes alone with my lappy.  Yesterday we went to the beach with the new stunt kite that my dad gave us.  My dad likes kites, and Cubby and I decided to choose kites as our neither-one-of-us-was-into-this-before-we-met-so-now-we-can-both-get-into-it-together hobby.  Whew.  That is a long title for one hobby.  Our collection started with one mini lady bug kite.  Then we got a mini dragonfly kite because the lady bug was so cute and funny to fly.  And then came the pair of dollar store kites*

*we like to go to the dollar store at least once a month to purchase random items that we do not truly need.  Once we bought frozen orange chicken, because we were strangely fascinated with the fact that the family dollar sells frozen foods.  (Foodstuff items?)  Did you know that the dollar store sells individually wrapped hot pockets?  Weird.  Another time we bought a cap gun and a bunch of caps, and the dog really really hates it.  We also made the wise purchase of a stuffed toy shark that is bizarrely disfigured.  His name is Loyd.  He is our special needs shark.

The dollar store kites are actually quite pretty, but we wanted to get stunt kites- ya know, the kind with two handles that a person can twirl and dive bomb into stuff…?  We went to every store in the city looking for them, but the results of our search were disappointing.  For some reason, adding another string and handle onto a kite makes the price jump up to over forty dollars.  Anywhoozles.  My pops happened to see some sport kites (exactly the same ones that we found) at a truck stop for eight dollars, so he bought one.  He likes kites, and usually has a few with him when he is on the road, but he decided to give it to us when he found out that we were looking for one that wasn’t forty to eighty dollars.  Score!

I haven’t flown a stunt kite since I was a kid, and neither has Cubs, so we crashed it into the sand plenty of times.  It was super fun though.  The whir and ripple of the wind on the kite fabric as it is cutting turns and loops is oddly satisfying.

After the beach we went home and changed and went to Hawthorn Hollow to do some birding (for the third day in the row).  I am trying to find migrating warblers that are passing through town, but so far I have only spotted a pine warbler.  The quest continues…  Here are a few that we have spotted in the last week.

indigo bunting (so cute)

rose-breasted grosbeak (a bit chunky like me!)

scarlet tanager

Oh, and we also started doing our salsa this past week.  It is super fun, and we end up giggling at each other a lot, because we are both so mature and all.  We only did the first hour of the two hour dvd, but in the future we can probably skip through the first twenty minutes (at least) because we have that part down.  Next week I am going to aim for doing the salsa dvd a few times in the morning after we do Jane Fonda.  Gosh, we sound like such nerds.  I am excited to get really good at dancing though.  I want to devote one month to each dvd (there are six for salsa, I believe) and just go through the entire collection.  After salsa, I am thinking swing, and then rumba.  There are also waltz (meh), foxtrot (maybe fun, but still meh), cha cha, and meregnue, but I don’t know how interested I am in any of those.  I’d like to learn bachata, but that is a tougher dance, so we’ll probably better off learning a few less complicated ones first.

Cubby likes golfing quite a bit, so we may start doing that together as well.  I will need to purchase clubs, but I am thinking that we can probably just go to the driving range near our house for now.  I’ve only been golfing (can I count mini golf too, haha) once in my life, so he will need to teach me pretty much everything.  Am I better off taking lessons or learning from my boyfriend?  I dunno.  I enjoy the fact that the two of us aren’t opposed to learning new things, and it is AWESOME to finally be with somebody who likes doing all kinds of activities with me.  I mean, I might be boring the shit out of you guys with my talk of feathered creatures, but it is just so fun for me to be in the woods looking for critters, and it means so much to me that Cubs is willing to get into my hobbies.  And that is why I honestly want to learn to golf.

Well, I better get off of lappy.  We rented Little Big Planet 2 for the second time, and are going to spend tonight playing it.  Aww yeah.  Just another crazy Saturday night around here.

 

from the tallest tower May 5, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 4:39 pm

3fc UPDATE- I am able to comment (for the first time in forever) on the 3fc blogs again.  Does this mean that you gals can comment on my 3fc blog again, or are there still problems?  I am left wondering about it.  I decided to go back to double posting so that the 3fc readers could still leave comments on my blogs, but right around that time the site started having all kinds of crazy problems.  Are any of you still blogging here?

(WHEW!  I finally finished catching up with all of the blogs and what not.  I really need to not get behind)

Jeepies!  I am having a tough time keeping up with my blog lately, it seems.  I’ve been doing the bizarre-o spring cleaning of the heart and soul, and maybe some of that stuff is better left untyped.  My birthday and two year Blogiversary are just around the corner in August, and I am thinking about where I am now and where I want to be.

Where I am now:  I am twenty eight and still trying to find my place in the world.  I feel like I know myself half way.  There are ideas of things I want to do and the way that I’d like to live, and then there are parts of me that are in limbo la-la land and those bitchy black eyed bastard buggy bits cling to my heals, claws sunk in, whispering poisoned promises into my ears that I’m never gonna grow up all the way because it just isn’t safe.  Stay here with us they murmur because you’re going to fall flat on your face and be a disaster. Some days I wish that I had bullet proof ear plugs placed on my pillow by fairies as I slept.  When I put them in they don’t block out sound, instead they block out all negative and self defeating thoughts. Instead of my inner buggy bastard beast saying annoying crap like the world isn’t safe, and people are going to fuck you over, he will now yodel on about how unbefuckinlievably rollerskating hound dog cool I am.

Where I am now:  I am still food crazy, sleep sick, and as dreamy distant as the hills.  I’ve realized just how nervous a lot of people and situations make me.  I realize that my toughest obstacle is getting myself to believe that I am noticed and appreciated, that the world is safe and friendly, and that I can lovingly create a life of beauty and adventure.  I make affirmation necklaces to sell to other people because I know how badly that I need a promising potion bottle around my own neck.

Where I am now:  Both etsy shops are making sales.  Not a lot of sales, but they are making sales.  My desire to sell sparkly treasures to others, and trot around offering my gypsy wares has not gone away.  When I was little what did I want to be when I grew up?  I wanted to be a writer.  I wanted to be a creator of crafty trinkets and art.  So I am going to keep trying until there is nothing left of me.  I have twenty four necklaces that I want to get posted this week, and a shit ton more crystals.  I love what I make and other people are falling in love with it too- I just have to keep pecking away at it and be patient.

Where I am now:  I live in an enchanted house in Kenosha, Wisconsin.  There are giant poppies painted on the wall all the way up the stairs, and storybook fairy tale paper glued to the walls in the kitchen.  A fertility goddess reaches her arms up and out on the wall near the back door, and everywhere the eye goes is art and color and creation.  It is a strange castle, and it is going to foreclose, so the princess in the tallest tower is trying to figure out where next to land her draw bridge.  She leans towards Madison, because it seems that her prince needs to stick to this region for another year and a half, but she misses the salty salty sea.

Well, the princess is off to the tallest tower to get a bit of reading done.  Hope you all have a thrilling Cinco de Mayo.