bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

Behold!! Zombos!!! April 11, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 5:48 pm

I just wrote a couple pages of affirmations, and had to take a break because my little hand is cramping.  Jeepers, self work is tough stuff.  I feel like I am moving at the pace of a quadriplegic sloth.  I know that I have blogged on that topic in the past, but it still holds true.  It’s like I am slower than a dead guy.  Real life zombies are much scarier than the movie versions.  In fact, last night I had a dream about zombies, and the dream ended with some pretty positive messages.  And then I wake up and think to myself, “Cripes, Deeders, you’re starting to make me worry.  What kind of shit is going on in that head of yours?”  And then I think about the agonizingly slow pace of my progress, and I begin comparing myself to a zombie.  Do zombies eat brains cause they are in dire need of a new one?  Are they after perspective and a human connection?  All the deep musings about the intricate lives of zombies kinda made me not want to get out of bed.

i’ll just rest here for a while and think things over

Blerg.  So I literally have stayed in bed all day.  I read and took some naps.  I did affirmations.  I shed a few tears.  Cubby wanted to know why I felt sad, and I couldn’t think of any one thing.  Weight?  Living situation?  Miscarriage?  Not being in school?  Missing my Florida friends?  Feeling disconnected?

I had intended to do Jane Fonda, and then go do some birding, but my chest felt all heavy.  I’ve been in bed feeling weird all day, and not getting much of anything done.  The affirmations are helpful, and I am going to keep doing them until I cheerfully accept each one in the depths of my core.  That’s the only useful thing that I have done today.  What else was I doing?  Playing Plants Versus Zombies on the Xbox.  I took the dream as a sign.

I need a life coach right about now.


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