bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

what i think about pie December 19, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 1:34 pm

I went to a French bakery for breakfast, and that is where I bought a slice of pie.  It looked all tempting, and I stood there staring at it, and thinking, “I don’t even like pie that much, but if I did I bet that would be good slice of pie.”  So I bought this piece of pie hoping to be converted into one of those people who are really into pie.  I suspect that people who are into pie are happy a lot.  I’m already happy a lot, so if I liked pie I’d probably be even more content with life.  I ate the pie for lunch, and it was ok and all, but I didn’t experience any ah-ha moments or anything.  That’s kind of what I wanted to happen.  So much for me and pie.

I don’t know why I am opening this blog with a story about pie.  Honestly, I can’t even figure out what possessed me to start a blog on this particular site.  I don’t write down daily calories or track much of anything, and I have no desire to.  I’ve gone that route before and it is INSANE.  Telling people with eating disorders to log everything they eat is like sending a sex junky to a porn store.  FOCUS on it EVEN MORE than you already do.  FOCUS and CONTROL the issue.  Screw that noise.

So instead I babble about whatever pops into my head first.  Today it was pie.

Here is what I am thinking about today that is not related to pie:  My weight has been going down bit by bit.  I’m still not as fit as I once was, but even carrying around extra weight I still happen to think I’m far more attractive than tons of women that I see every day.  Perhaps that makes me a vain asshole, or perhaps that means my self esteem has gone up.  I have no idea.  I’m pretty sure it is a mix of both things.

I stayed at my cousin’s last night (we watched Dead Alive) and stopped in shock in front of her bathroom mirror because I noticed how pretty I was.  Isn’t that some silly stuff?  My brain has been programmed to absorb and grudgingly accept all this cliche bullshit about what beauty is, but every so often I notice something looks pretty just because it actually looks pretty.  Ahhhhhh.  The small successes in life.

I also post a blog on blogger, and am wondering if I should just stick to that one and abandon this little guy.  Any thoughts?  I am beginning to dislike the idea of blogging on a weight loss site.  I kind of hope I can talk my favorite bloggers into moving to blogger with me…  some days I feel limited on this site, like I have to stick to topics that relate to my body and what I’m eating…

 

end of semester blues December 12, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 1:46 pm

Gosh, I sure have been getting a lot of spam comments lately.  Does anybody else have this issue?  When I logged onto this site after my Michigan trip I had just over fifty spam comments.  People aren’t even clever about it.  The wording is all so similar.  My favorite comment said something along the lines of, “This would be an interesting post, but all the spelling errors are distracting!!  Why don’t you check your grammar before publishing posts?”  I laughed really hard over that one, because there wasn’t a single spelling or grammatical error in the particular post the spammer had commented on.  What I really don’t understand is why all these escort services want to advertise on a site for fat chicks…  It’s all so mind boggling.

Tomorrow I am heading to Gainesville to study in the lab.  Two more days of toil and then I am off for nearly four weeks.  I must admit, I am concerned about passing Anatomy.  I have to get 125 out of the 200 points on the final in order to pass.  Do the math and that is about 63 percent.  It’s a pretty darn sorry fact that I am worried if I can get a 63 percent or not.  I solemnly swear that I am up to no good to never permit myself to get so behind on a class again.  If I do bomb the dang thing and fail it will teach my procrastinating self a good lesson.

On Thursday I am going to start a detox, and I plan on sticking to it for the bulk of my winter break.  It is the fat smashers detox that Jelbelle shared a while back, and it really isn’t so bad.  I figure it will be easier to maintain when I am away from school, because we usually go out to lunch and dinner on Tuesdays.  I’ve been (pretty much) sticking to the detox for the last few days as well, but I haven’t been terribly strict about it.

I have so many things to do, and I pray that I handle everything with poise and grace.  I really need support.  I’m nervous that I’m going to collapse under the pressure and end up homeless and a pauper.  I’ll be in rags pushing around a shopping cart and mumbling to myself about what could have been.  Yikes.

TO DO LIST

#1- call about possible roommate in Sarasota

#2a- check list of apartments to look at

#2b- go and stay with Lizzie so that you can look at apartments

#3- detox for ten days

#4- exercise every day

#5- get a head start on classes during break, mainly A&P II and Microbiology

#6- walk Lali, she has been so bored and neglected this semester

#7- contact Jackie about the healing center for possible employment connections

#8- have business cards made

#9- contact Coral about assisting in her level one class at the end of February

#10- find a few clients before next semester starts

#11- be out of bed no later than nine every single day

#12- keep it together for five days in a row

There are more things that could go on this list, but I really have to pee.

 

look at all this web dust December 7, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 11:32 pm

Holy horse and hound, Batman, didn’t I used to write a blog on a site intended for chunky to morbidly obese writers struggling to get their shit together and slough off some poundage?  I am pretty sure that was me.  I sure fit the profile.  More than three pants sizes in the closet?  Check.  Ever canceled a social activity to stay home and have a snack-a-thon?  Check.  Got more chins than breasts and nipples?  Errr… not quite a check, thank god.

I am still in Michigan, and my class ended today.  It was superb.  I am flying home tomorrow and then I intend to sleep for twelve hours.  I thought I could write more than this, but I’m going to fall the heck asleep on my lappy any second now.

Sorry for producing such a short blog.  I am a tease.

I know.

You are thinking, “Oh, Didi, though you may aspire to one day be a tease we all know you are as loose as my drunk mother-in-law’s cannon.”

Tell your mother-in-law to stop drinking so much.  I can’t even begin to fathom how she can afford all that gunpowder.  And who carries around a ramrod these days, anyhow?

It was cunning of me to add in that whole exchange.  It made this blog seem longer.  Hot diggity dog, I’m one smart enchilada.