bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

a quickie November 28, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 12:21 am

No, I didn’t mean that!!!  Pull your mind out of the trenches of sin, you naughty naughty thing!

I just wanted to post a quick update, since my last blogs have made me seem like I’m losing it completely.  Rest assured, my lovelies, I am not losing it completely.  There is only a partial loss of brain functions, and do you know what that means?  BY GOLLY, PART OF MY BRAIN IS STILL FUNCTIONING!  Some days I will happily tumble along at half-speed, and not even mind an embarrassing lack of motor skills.  These are those days.  Sorry, body, brain is occupied with studying for tests and finals right now.  Leave a message at the front desk, and somebody will get ’round to noticing it come mid December.

I’m feeling optimistic about Wednesday’s test.  Another twelve hours of studying tomorrow should boost that die hard optimism of mine up even more.  It’s down to the wire, and all of this has taught me an important lesson:  I have to do everything right away, before I blog, before I hang out, before the ants go marching two by two, lest I put things off until the last possible second.  No more procrastination.  Ever.  That shit is whack, yo.

I still have to pack for my trip, and make sure that I have all necessary study and homework materials included.  Finals are the week after I get back, so I need to study while I am gone.  It is going to be an amazing class!!!  COMPLETELY worth the extra stress.

I can’t wait until my winter break!!!  It is going to be freaking amazing.  I’m going to find a place and move to Sarasota as soon as I turn in my last final.  No, really.  It will soooooo be that quick.  I want to spend four weeks swimming in the ocean and working out.  Tis the best way to achieve thinner peace.

Catch you cats later, I need to get my hot as fuck beauty rest.

 

son of a nutcracker!!! November 26, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 2:22 pm

I had a great Thanksgiving.  I didn’t go back for seconds, and I didn’t even finish everything on my plate, so I feel like I did pretty well.  They made a ham that was boiled in coca cola before being thrown in the oven, and I thought it looked terrifying.  “Oh, try a piece,” I was told.  “I don’t eat ham,” I responded.  “But just try a piece, it’s really good,” I was told several more times.  “When I eat ham it makes me vomit, so I’m really not interested in trying it anymore,” I eventually explained.  That comment seemed to settle the matter.  Nobody wants to eat something that causes an immediate upchuck response.  Ham and venison have that effect on me for whatever reason.  Can people be allergic to a meat?  A turkey was also made, but I didn’t eat any of it either.  I used to like turkey, but I seem to have lost my taste for it.  I smell all of my food before I eat it, likely due to the fact that I am part basset hound, and as of last year the smell of cooked turkey began to repulse me.  Ah well.  I still like chicken sometimes, and tilapia, and some types of sushi.  Perhaps I’ll end up being a vegetarian again sometime just because the smell and taste of meat doesn’t appeal to me.  Seems like an easy way to go about it.

Anyolddanghow, in my mind Thanksgiving is actually about stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy.  Back home Darcy makes this cheesy potato thing that is off the chain to die for, and I need to get the recipe for it because nobody makes it here.  Green bean casserole and spoon corn are also high on the Thanksgiving list of importance.  Sides are what gets my engine revved, and there were plenty of sides.  In fact, they made so much food that all nine of us could have had another full meal tonight, and probably still have traces of stuff leftover.  Good times, lots of laughter, and tasty snacks.

I have to admit to you folks that my zero-procrastination-vacation has been an utter failure so far.  I haven’t gained any weight, but I’ve been eating total garbage, not working out, and sleeping a lot.  I set intentions of getting up early to study and read, and that has not gone down.  I’ve been moody and reclusive and trapped in cycles of thoughts that aren’t serving me well at all.  BAH!!!!!  I AM PROCRASTINATING INSTEAD OF DOING.

I have four days to study and get shit done before I have class, and I leave for Michigan on Thursday.  At this point, I’m not feeling good about it.  I can’t wait until this blasted semester is just over with.  I don’t think I deal with stress very well, and that is something I definitely need to work on.  Throw it onto the pile.

It is the day after Thanksgiving, so I need to muster up some Christmas spirit.  Brooding and bitching isn’t going to help me accomplish anything.  Imagine that.

Hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving, and I also hope you are feeling cheerful!

 

rabbit pants November 22, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 5:52 pm

They don’t make lies like they used to.

Can somebody please slap the emo off of my face?  It’s getting in the way of me noticing the sunshine.  I’ve been feeling like a vulnerable wabbit all out in the open without a place to get under ground.  I know this is how I feel when I start making progress, so I am trying real real terrible hard to ignore it.  My success is questionable.  My brain balks when I try to let go of old patterns.  Stay here where it’s safe, the awful siren bitch croons.  I still feel scared to be all the way in the world, so I hide under my blankets.  The wolves I imagine hearing at the door probably aren’t really wolves; it’s likely just the mail carrier.

 

asti helps me sleep late November 19, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 3:42 pm

Last night I drank a bottle of Asti, and then had some whiskey while chatting it up with my cousin.  So you must be wondering if I woke up at six a.m. today.  You aren’t wondering.  You know the truth.  If a girl drinks a bottle of Asti she doesn’t get up at six a.m.  When I did finally crawl out of bed I dumped the half a bottle of Jack that was left over down the bathroom sink.  No way am I touching that shit again any time soon.  It’s liquid sabotage!!!!  My stomach is all wonky today, and my hips and butt are sore from doing too many Hemalaaya workouts.  Ah, me.

Here, watch this because it is sooo dang funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=civOdWxd4Kc

Didn’t your life improve?  I’ve been dancing around the house singing that song all day.  Not at six a.m., of course, because my ass was still in bed.  Dancing around the house is so much cooler than studying and doing homework.  Yeah, girl.

Tomorrow night I am going to go see Harry Potter with Angela.  I am so stoked about it.  Harry Potter is also cooler than studying and doing homework.  I suppose the list of “cooler shit to do than studying and doing homework” is a long one.  But some things don’t make the cut.  Like getting punched in the head.  I wouldn’t put that on the list.

Want to hear something weird?  Or, rather, read something weird?  Whenever I have a hangover I am disgustingly cheerful.  It makes no sense.  And I also look really hot when I’m hungover.  My lips look fuller and my eyes are kinda sultry.  Here, look at this pic I just took with my webcam.  I have to provide evidence or you’ll be all “Didi is making up nonsense again.”  Sometimes, guys, I’m not making up nonsense though.  Sometimes I am offering you the facts.

See!  I told you so!  I’m going to put this picture on my Okcupid profile and the boys will come a-running.  Oops.  I just let it slip that I have a profile on Okcupid.  I hope you don’t think less of me now that I have admitted to dabbling in internet dating.  IT’S THE FUTURE, PEOPLE (and it’s free).  Technology can help me find a mate since I seem to be retarded on my own and in the real world.  Lordy, if you could see the line-up of guys that I’ve dated, you’d be laughing for a week.  You know you want to go check out Okcupid now, so don’t even deny it.  It’s the funnest waste of time ever, and there are insightful quizzies to take.

Ug.  Ug.  Ug.  My stomach is not happy with me.  I may have to cut this blog short so that I can run to the toilet and vomit.  Now that’s a photo opportunity.  What man doesn’t want to date a foxy vixen chucking up water (haven’t been able to eat today) into the porcelain throne?  A guy sees that and thinks, “I must have this woman.  She must be the mother of my future children.”

 

wrapping it all up November 18, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 2:21 pm

Today is about accountability and zero procrastination, so I’m gonna write this blog fast to get myself pumped up.  In four weeks the semester is over and I have finals.  In two weeks I leave for Michigan.  In thirteen days I have the third A&P test, which I have to do really well on.  Everything is coming to a close, which is awesome because I sooooo look forward to having a month off so that I can regroup!

Since I have adopted a new “no procrastination” policy I am going to start studying for A&P today.  The final is cumulative, so I need to study all the previous chapters that I didn’t do so great on.  Eesh.  My twelve day Thanksgiving break is going to be all about studying and working out.

6 a.m. - 8:30 a.m. = wake up, eat breakfast, complete one Bollywood dvd and follow it up with the slow and stretchy Kama Sutra Dance dvd.

8:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. = study some shit, yo!

12:30 - 1:00 = eat lunch.  stick to something simple.

1:00 - 3:00 = go to the gym and hop on the elliptical, and run through all the circuit stuff for the arms.

3:00 - 5:00 = more studying and homework, because you are in it to win it!

5:00 = dinner time.

after five- go through esoteric healing session twice after dinner.  The rest of your night can be spent reading, or walking the pup, or watching a movie, or sobbing because your social life has gone to the dogs.

Ok, so that is what my life is going to look like for the next ten days.  Today will be a little different because I always sleep late the day after class since I never get any sleep in Gainesville.  I’m going to do my Hemalayaa dvd’s and then finish my A&P coloring (16 pages to go!) while I chill and watch some crap on Netflix.

Honestly, I don’t know how much I will be blogging the rest of this month.  I have so much work to do in anatomy because of my inability to get organized.  I know that I will do well on the next test, but I am very concerned about the cumulative final.  I do have twenty three points of extra credit that will be applied (from the last of the coloring) but I am still feeling nervous about it.  On the plus side, I do find the chapters more interesting now.  The chemistry, skeletal, and muscular chapters were the worst.  Never ever ever will I need to know the names of all the bone markings, and yet she still required us to memorize them along with all the bones.   I got a 58 on that lab exam.  Lord, save me.

Anatomy and Physiology II will be way more interesting, and I suppose it will be easier for me now that I’ve decided to get my shit together.  Since I have a month off for Christmas I intend to at least get a couple of chapters ahead.  It will be better for me to stay grounded in a good study routine during my break.  I don’t have the money to go home, so I’m going to spend a month working on Spanish and Anatomy.  The excitement never stops around here.

I’d like to go hang out at my mom’s in Tennessee for a week, so maybe I can sell a kidney in order to make that happen.  It would be nice if I could get to Missouri to visit my grandmother as well.  Oh bother.  If anybody has any cash that they don’t want, send it my way.

 

chipped china cup November 16, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 11:36 pm

I am writing to you from the hotel room in Gainesville.  This evening was pretty fabulous, because Sam brought her scissors to our room and gave three of us haircuts.  Webey got hers done on the balconey, but Shadey and I sat out in the lobby in a chair while Sam snipped away at our lustrous locks.  The poor cleaning crew that works tomorrow won’t know what the hell was going on.  There are tufts of blonde, red, and black curly hair leading from the balcony all the way out to the hallway.  She pretty much just trimmed mine for me, and gave me some sweeping bangs.  Nothing dramatic or wild (which is what I like) like my girl, London, would do for me back home, but it’s all good.  I asked her to do it on an impulse, because I plan on letting my hair grow out until the summer.

No school next week, but I don’t really have any plans.  I’m broke as a mother fucking joke, and I plan on working out and studying until the thirtieth.  That’s pretty much it for me.  I had a good day, but I’m feeling tired and homesick.

I decided to move to Florida because I was severely burned out and heartsick, and I just wanted to get away. I find it humorous that I am now homesick, and it has been all of three months since the move.  What a baby!  I couldn’t take any more of my situation, and realized that to finish school I’d have to go far far away.  I created such a mess for myself, and I am still healing over nonsense that happened years ago.  Sloowwwwww mover.  Envision a turtle covered in a thick and oozing layer of molasses, buried under several sloths… that’s about how I roll.

I feel like sharing, so I’m just gonna go with it.

I had (still kinda have, I guess) this very strong crush on a guy for over a year that wouldn’t go away.  It annoyed me so much that I went to Michigan, Tennessee, Florida, Iowa, and then back to Tennessee just so I could stay away from home allllll spring and summer.  My hope was that if I stayed busy and traveled around I’d forget about having an obnoxious fucking crush on some dude with a significant other.  I did a ton of super fun stuff, and had a dang cool time, and all the while I told myself I was “cured.”  As it turned out, I wasn’t cured, I was full of shit.  But none of that mattered since the plan was to move to Florida for school at the end of August anyhow.

Now that I’m here I ought to move on, right?  Nope.  Not this dunce.  I still think about a person I don’t see and don’t talk to.  I still wonder what transpires a thousand miles away.  WTF?

I’m training to be a midwife.  I am supposed to be this blending of medical science and traditional medicine, a bridge between spirit and technology, and I ought to be focused on empowerment and achieving personal success.  But what am I thinking of at the end of the evening?  Some fucking joker back home.  I could kick my own ass.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in being part of a loving relationship.  Honestly though, I’ve never really experienced a healthy and balanced relationship.  Now I daydream about what it would feel like to be in one.  The fact that I think about it so much kind of makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little.  I want to focus on my goals and career, and be able to work out my own baloney, and I try to deny the fact that I’m still longing for companionship.  I should be a rock.  An island.  I shouldn’t be wanting somebody to take care of me, and it pisses me off that I do.

It would be so bubbly and nice to be in love with somebody right now though.

I’m always so busy chasing my tail that it is highly likely that if a man expressed interest in me this very second I wouldn’t notice.  Historically, this happens with the men I am truly interested in.  They send signals, and I miss them and don’t realize it until years later.  Tragic!  Sometimes I am forced to compare my intelligence to that of a brick.  There is something solid, heavy, and steady about me, and I come in some pretty interesting colors, but when all is said and done I’m kind of just a lump of soggy clay that’s been fired under extreme temperatures.  Hmmmm.  You may interpret that however you choose.

Something is missing from my life, and I’m nearly positive that it isn’t cake.

My thoughts are so tricksy that on different days I want different lives, and it is tough to know what thing I really want.

The truth is that I’m a hopeless romantic, and I prefer to drink rose scented, and jasmine tea out of chipped china cups.

My love for silk robes and racy lingerie is contrasted by my aggressive independence, a tomboy-ish nature, and a desire to engage in battle.

I may never figure it all out.

 

research, procrastination, and hand-jobs, oh my! November 14, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 7:23 pm

I finished the final page of my research paper today, so now all I have to do is type up my reference page.  I decided to do that first thing tomorrow morning, before I head off to Gainesville.  I also have to throw together a short power point, because I’m giving a ten minute presentation on the content of my research paper on Tuesday.  Buh-buh-buh-boring.  It’s done though, and I truly don’t mind writing research papers, or any other sort of paper for that matter.  Writing makes me feel all smart and useful.  Memorizing anatomy makes me feel as dumb as a brick, on the other hand.  The point of going to Gainesville a day early is so that we can study anatomy more.  Thank any deity who has a fondness for me that after Wednesday I don’t have class until the thirtieth.  WOO FRICKEN HOO!  I am going to spend all that time catching up in anatomy, because our next big exam is on the thirtieth.  I find it humorous that the semester is almost over, and I am just now feeling like I’m getting a handle on things.  Whoa.  Next semester (and the remainder of this one) I’ll be kicking ass and taking names.

As it turns out, I have issues prioritizing, delegating, and procrastinating.  Until last week I believe I was in denial about all of that.  AND I wasn’t really admitting to the fact that I was hurting myself by making so many excuses.  It all ties into the fact that just before I moved here I was experiencing severe burnout.  Procrastinating habitually was a result of that problem.  Procrastination isn’t cute or charming, nor does it indicate a Taoist outlook on life.  It’s fucking stupid and creates unneeded stress.  There!  I said it!  Oh what goofiness I put myself through.  I’m so glad that I wrote my research paper on burnout and secondary (also called vicarious) trauma, and that we had to go over a power point on procrastination in class.  Whew.  Thank you mighty heathen gods for looking out for me.

Today I also found out that I can take the level eight metaphysical healing class in Michigan from the second of December until the eighth.  For a minute there I didn’t believe it was a possibility because a) I’m broke as all get-out, and b) I’m broke as all get-out.  I had even considered offering hand-jobs behind the Seven-Eleven in order to generate some extra cash flow.  Yikes.  The things we must do for the sake of being educated.  But thankfully my hands (and pride) shall be spared because one of my classmates has offered me a place to stay while I am there.  That saves me immense hotel costs, and I won’t have to rent a car because she is going to pick me up from the airport as well.

On another note I did another one of my new Hemalayaa dvds for the first time.  Today I chose “Bollywood Booty” because that title is simply enchanting.  Not really.  I just felt like shaking my ass around, and boy, the routine certainly did deliver.  Forty-five minutes of hip swaying, shimmying, and bouncing around later, and I was feeling pretty darn good about life in general.  I cannot begin to tell you just how much I recommend Hemalyaa’s workouts.  They are crucial, integral, vital, and a bloody necessary new addition to my days that I am not giving up any time soon.  I can’t wait to get up tomorrow morning so that I can try a new one (still have two left that I’ve not done), and I even set my alarm early to make sure that I’ll have enough time.  That is not like me, not like me at all.  I love it.

 

bouncy Bhangra babe November 13, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 11:26 pm

I am officially addicted to Hemalayaa’s workout dvds, and I think this is the healthiest addiction I have ever experienced.  I FREAKING LOVE HEMALAYAA!  The routines are so bloody fun that I have to make myself stop just to spare my poor, sore muscles from too much gettin’ down.  I woke up today with griping and bitching muscles, but I wanted to try another dvd so badly that I just ignored them.  Sorry body, you better just get on board the crazy-Bhangra-dance-train and stop your damned whining.  I’ve been coddling you for years, and it’s time to stop procrastinating.  These hips are due for some shaking!

that’s Hemalayaa in the center, and i’m the one on the left. no, really, i swear.

I like her attitude and workouts so much that I went back on Amazon and pre ordered her newest workout (I’ll get it on December 7th) and I bought her “Dance of the Kama Sutra” dvd.  I know, I know, I already purchased five of her dvds in one big ole shabang, so why do I need two more?  Because they are honestly the happiest and most fun workouts that I have ever done, and they feel so “me” that I now know for a fact that I will get back in shape.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly experienced that feeling before.  Her workouts are joyful and positive, and I feel like they are getting me back in touch with my body.  Loving myself is what it’s all about!!!  I had put the “Kama Sutra” one on my wishlist when I ordered the last batch, because I thought I was getting a little out of control with my large purchase.  However, doing all the bollywood workouts made me think that it would be nice to follow them up with something slow and stretchy.  It’s crazy.  I’m all like, “Gee, doing this workout makes me want to workout more afterward.”  Who the hell are you and what the hell have you done with Didi?  At least I didn’t get her other three dvds.  I was trying to exercise a little self control, and removed them from my shopping cart.  I bet you I’ll end up buying them at some point though.

Hemalayaa is my new workout guru.  And I must admit, I kinda want some of those pretty pants she is always wearing.  They look all comfortable and baggy, and the colors are bright and pleasing, and her ass looks so cute in them.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be brave enough to wear brightly colored baggy pants in the shape that I’m in now.  I’d look like a fat bitch sporting clown pants or something.  And nobody wants to see a fat bitch in clown pants, least of all me, so I’ll have to hold off on the harem girl look until I shimmy off fifty pounds or so.  How big is too big for bright baggy pants?  I suppose I’ll have to guestimate, because I don’t think such a readily available ratio exists for this matter.  The size of the ass and breadth of the thighs determines the flowiness of the pants and intensity of the fabric color.  Too bad Mendel stuck with genetics and heredity.

seriously, look at that butt.  she could wear clown pants every fucking day and pull that shit off. just sayin’.

Setting aside my new found love of harem style pants and bhangra, I have also been practicing visualization exercises every evening before I go to bed.  Since I am a visual creature, I take my fifty pack of crayola markers (purchased for coloring my anatomy book) and draw happy, loving pictures of all the things I wish to manifest in my life.  The pictures are crude and colorful, and I just use lined paper, so it isn’t anything fancy.  I am loving this new nighttime ritual though.  I draw pictures of my future self (wearing sweet sweet fuschia harem pants) surrounded by love and prosperity.  I pour all kinds of happiness into drawings representing the abundance I wish to experience in my life.  Give it a try if you are bored one night or feeling adventurous.  I love thumbing through my growing pile of pictures before I light candles for my evening prayers.  It is as though I am drawing my own future onto lined paper, and I can make it be whatever I want.  Ahhhh.

 

bollywood and hula November 12, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 12:50 am

Remember how I was going to spend six weeks doing all the belly dancing dvds that I have collected, and then as a reward I was going to purchase a bunch of bollywood workouts?  Well, I couldn’t hold out any longer.  I really enjoy the belly dancing dvd’s because they are so sensual and relaxing, but I need something a bit more peppy to get my blood pumping.  I need to get my wristband into onederland.  I’m fucking tired of all of my own bullshit.

So today I visited my beloved Amazon wish list and started clicking things into my cart like I had money to spare.  Which I don’t.  But thank the lord I’ve got an Amazon store card, and I can run that shit up to eight hundred dollars.  Whew.  I purchased the following: Hemalayaa Bollywood Dance Blast (2 cardio workouts), Hemalayya Beautiful Belly (six minutes of cardio followed by three 12 minute ab workouts), and Hemalayaa’s Dance Workouts set which has Bollywood Booty (four ass blasting routines), Bollywood Burn (three 15 minute cardio sessions), and her original dance workout (fifty minutes of cardio, sculpting, and stretching.  I was thrilled to notice that the Dance Blast had an instant complementary ondemand, so that I could view it online as soon as I paid for it.  Right after I paid I tried one of my new workouts without having to wait for it to arrive in the mail.  Sweet! It was really fun, and I am very happy that I snapped and bought all the dvds.  It was a good investment because that Hemalayya is one positive chick.  The routine was so vibrant and joyful, and my heart was pounding like mad.  I chose to purchase a slew of her stuff because I was impressed with the previews, and also liked the idea of being able to mix and match segments around to keep things interesting.

And since I felt like splurging I also threw in the Island Girl Dance Workouts with Tahitian Cardio, Hip Hop, Cardio Hula, and Hula Abs and Buns.  I got free shipping, and everything should be here by Saturday.  I’m going to be dancing the fat off my ass off all the way to New Year’s Day.

I think I’ll try to keep doing belly dancing in the evenings if I still have any energy left.

 

i’ve got the craftin’ bug November 7, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 12:53 pm

I should be working on my research paper right now, but it’s just going to have to wait a minute.  Tomorrow morning I am going to Gainesville with Shea so that we can get physicals and be injected with the plague hep b and mmr vaccinations.  We are also going to study in the lab in an attempt to salvage our anatomy grades.  So what I am saying is that I may not be posting again until Thursday.

I ordered a book off of Amazon called “Dorm Decor” and it came in the mail yesterday.  This book is the bomb diggity, guys, and used it was under ten dollars (including shipping) on Amazon.com.  It’s got all kinds of nifties in it: a faux deer head, giant tufted floor cushion, slippers, a robe, a cool messenger bag, the most amazing laundry bag that I have ever seen, a reversible duvet cover, etc.  Some of the stuff is uninspired, but overall it gave me a lot of rockin’ ideas of neat stuff to make when I move to Sarasota.  After I move I’d really love to have a crafting party.  I’d really love to have a crafting party five minutes ago.  Please come to my house and make enormous floor pillows with me.  I found a place online that sells shredded, condensed foam super cheap.

My entire Christmas break will be spent crafting, believe me.

That’s all I got for now, folks.  Back to research.

Oh, and Jel, I can’t weigh in because I still need to buy a scale.  Mayhap I’ll get one tomorrow in Gainesville.

I feel a little bizarre today.  Sort of flighty/ tired/ nervous/ happy/ horny/ foggy/ fragmented/ and fuzzy.  I don’t know what to make of it.

 

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