bits of string and sealing wax

I haven’t been able to get in more than one post a week it seems, which leaves me with way too much catching up to do when I manage to squeeze in the weekly blog.  To make up for that I will do two posts today.  Yay!

I have been working on advertising for my etsy shop.  I’ve been mainly focused on The Ten Moons, and am thinking about just putting all my jewelry at this shop instead of using two separate ones.  I know that they suggest only having a couple of products at a shop, but I don’t know if I want to keep tinkering around with two shops at this point.  Plus, I have a thousand business cards printed out for my Ten Moons shop, and none for Journey Notes.  Perhaps if the necklaces take off it will be more convenient to put them back onto their own page, but for now… meh.

I have a ton of new stuff that I need to post, but I’ve been waiting around to borrow my mom’s camera again.  She keeps forgetting it.  It makes the picture taking process go faster and more smoothly, but perhaps I should just give up on using the damn thing.

Want to do me a solid?  ”Like” my facebook page for The Ten Moons.  Click on that link back there- you know you want to.  Apparently, when I get to 30 “likes” something interesting is supposed to happen.  I am not sure what it is exactly, but I will share it with you when the event occurs.  I don’t know how useful having that will be, but it was suggested as free advertising, so I am giving it a try.  I have been joining tons of circles on Etsy, and got invited to be in a sellers group.  I accepted, and one of the group leaders has been corresponding with me and sharing tips.  My items are getting lots of “favorites” and my shop is getting favorited a bunch now, but I’ve not made any more sales.  I will not give up on my shop though.  It is seriously one of my dreams to have a successful Etsy shop, so I’m going to keep plugging away at it.

I also finally got around to joining pinterest.  It is kinda like girl-crack.  You know how much I love creating dream boards?  Well, pinterest is kinda dream boardesque.  I avoided it before, not wanting to fall into any more time-sucks, but it was recommended that I have a pinterest board for my etsy shop.  The girl who runs the etsy team that I joined told me she definitely gets sales from her facebook page and pinterest page.  She has a pinterest board for our team which shows products from all the team members, so I decided to do one myself.  So find Deonn Paul (me) on pinterest and check her boards out, all you pinsters.

I should be getting tables and a tent this week, and want to be out and about selling by the first weekend in June.  Perhaps even this weekend, if I can get everything together fast enough.  I am not going to take the necklaces, but I will be taking the crystals and some art work that I did a while back.  There are a few pictures I created that I am totally willing to part with, so I’ll tote them along to see if I can get any takers.  I want to get a few wind chimes done to bring with, so we will see how that goes.  My plan is to eventually have crystals, wind chimes, a limited amount of my collage art, and little goddess shrine boxes.  I made two of the goddess boxes as Christmas gifts, and absolutely loved the result, so I’d really like to make more of them.

I was checking out some etsy shops that I like, and one of them has wholesale listings for stores to purchase.  I thought it was a smashing idea, and am going to put up a couple of “lot” style listings myself.  I can easily make displays and send them along with a dozen crystals for shops to resell.  How cool is that?  I really want my stuff to be sold in stores all over the place, and this might be a way to get that dream going.  My crystals are sold in two shops in town, but wouldn’t it be neat if I had items being sold in fancy stores in New York and San Francisco?

Well, I need to go pick up some more hemp cord from Michael’s.  I really wish that Hobby Lobby was open on Sundays.

Yesterday we had a spectacular day.  Cubby, Sparks, and I went to the zoo in Milwaukee because it was such a gorgeous day.  (There are four zoos within reasonable driving distance of my home, so we go to all of them each year)  After the zoo we walked around in Mayfair mall a bit, visited Sparks’ fella at work, and then went to an extremely late dinner at Mongolian Grill.  AWESOME day.

And now we get to today.  I wake up to a messy kitchen, which is typical and drives me shit city insane, so I just suck it up and clean it the way that I do most days.  Cubs was helping me, and we were trying to figure out what to do with the day.  I kinda wanted to do a once over house cleaning (I sort of have to a lot to keep the place tidy) since I was already knocking out the kitchen.  I took a few things down to the basement to start a load of laundry, and could not help but notice my big purple blanket with flowers embroidered on it crumpled up on the basement floor.  It was soaking wet.  And then I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, and went back upstairs and asked The Pants Pee-er (who was playing games on his laptop at the dining room table) why it was down there.  You see, it is ALWAYS on either the giant purple couch or the giant purple chair-and-a-half (which is a fricken love seat, so I don’t know why they call it a chair).  The purple blanket is the one that gets draped over the furniture for use during movie viewing snuggle times.  He said, “Oh, I accidentally wetted it, so I threw it down there.”  So I responded, “You wetted it.  With pee.  It is down there soaked in pee?”  And he said yeah.

Now, some of you have called me graceful and have complimented the way that I deal with things.  I ask you, how the fuck am I supposed to deal with a ten year old pissing all over my stuff?  I went from cheerful as hell to feeling the unmistakable and over powering urge to punch, scream, and kick at something.  Have you ever felt your crazy switch get flicked, and suddenly it’s, like, tantrum time at the zero hour?  Mmmhmmm, that’s about where I was at.  I asked how he managed to pee all over that blanket, and said that if he kept peeing himself I was going to forbid him from sitting on any furniture.  Ever.  And then it dawns on me.  Gosh, that blanket was absolutely drenched with some ten year old’s urine.  Where was he when he piddled all over that thing like some retarded cocker spaniel?

Gee, sorry.  I was too busy playing my DS to get up and go to the bathroom.

I go on ahead and ask, knowing that it isn’t going to be pretty.  He says, “Oh, I was on the couch.  It was really wet, so I flipped the cushion over.”

Quelle horreur.  The demons of nightmare world come riding into my heart on gangly goats with twisted horns and overgrown hooves.

He pissed on my god damned chair and a god damned half and then flipped the god damned cushion over.

It is a good thing that as soon as the demons of nightmare world hit my heart I go into a kind of shock.  Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely angry as all get-out, but there is a sort of numb quality to the anger, and it is this numbness that settles into my limbs, and prevents me from going on a bee stung bull rampage and just pummeling the bejesuses out of this goofy flippin’ kid, and his goofy flippin’ mother (who is like my sister, and I love her, and she is a really strong and amazing person, and she just happens to have a son who happens to be the grossest child I have ever met).  I flip the cushion over, and there is a giant wet spot.  It is a lake.  It is a lake of piss and it is on the underside of my much beloved purple love seat cushion.  I knew my furniture was passed its prime and needed an upgrade, but this is ridiculous.

“Insert pants pee-er’s name here, this is soaked.  You can’t soak a cushion with pee and then just flip it over.”  My voice was desperate.  I did not know what to do.

I hosed the cushion down with cleaning products and scrubbed.  It is now air drying.  I went upstairs and screamed into my pillow.

Any advice on this one?  How does one respond to such delicate circumstances?

Howdy y’all.  I have been reading a ton, birding a ton, and trying to keep active.  The weather has been nice, so I’m not spending a whole lotta minutes alone with my lappy.  Yesterday we went to the beach with the new stunt kite that my dad gave us.  My dad likes kites, and Cubby and I decided to choose kites as our neither-one-of-us-was-into-this-before-we-met-so-now-we-can-both-get-into-it-together hobby.  Whew.  That is a long title for one hobby.  Our collection started with one mini lady bug kite.  Then we got a mini dragonfly kite because the lady bug was so cute and funny to fly.  And then came the pair of dollar store kites*

*we like to go to the dollar store at least once a month to purchase random items that we do not truly need.  Once we bought frozen orange chicken, because we were strangely fascinated with the fact that the family dollar sells frozen foods.  (Foodstuff items?)  Did you know that the dollar store sells individually wrapped hot pockets?  Weird.  Another time we bought a cap gun and a bunch of caps, and the dog really really hates it.  We also made the wise purchase of a stuffed toy shark that is bizarrely disfigured.  His name is Loyd.  He is our special needs shark.

The dollar store kites are actually quite pretty, but we wanted to get stunt kites- ya know, the kind with two handles that a person can twirl and dive bomb into stuff…?  We went to every store in the city looking for them, but the results of our search were disappointing.  For some reason, adding another string and handle onto a kite makes the price jump up to over forty dollars.  Anywhoozles.  My pops happened to see some sport kites (exactly the same ones that we found) at a truck stop for eight dollars, so he bought one.  He likes kites, and usually has a few with him when he is on the road, but he decided to give it to us when he found out that we were looking for one that wasn’t forty to eighty dollars.  Score!

I haven’t flown a stunt kite since I was a kid, and neither has Cubs, so we crashed it into the sand plenty of times.  It was super fun though.  The whir and ripple of the wind on the kite fabric as it is cutting turns and loops is oddly satisfying.

After the beach we went home and changed and went to Hawthorn Hollow to do some birding (for the third day in the row).  I am trying to find migrating warblers that are passing through town, but so far I have only spotted a pine warbler.  The quest continues…  Here are a few that we have spotted in the last week.

indigo bunting (so cute)

rose-breasted grosbeak (a bit chunky like me!)

scarlet tanager

Oh, and we also started doing our salsa this past week.  It is super fun, and we end up giggling at each other a lot, because we are both so mature and all.  We only did the first hour of the two hour dvd, but in the future we can probably skip through the first twenty minutes (at least) because we have that part down.  Next week I am going to aim for doing the salsa dvd a few times in the morning after we do Jane Fonda.  Gosh, we sound like such nerds.  I am excited to get really good at dancing though.  I want to devote one month to each dvd (there are six for salsa, I believe) and just go through the entire collection.  After salsa, I am thinking swing, and then rumba.  There are also waltz (meh), foxtrot (maybe fun, but still meh), cha cha, and meregnue, but I don’t know how interested I am in any of those.  I’d like to learn bachata, but that is a tougher dance, so we’ll probably better off learning a few less complicated ones first.

Cubby likes golfing quite a bit, so we may start doing that together as well.  I will need to purchase clubs, but I am thinking that we can probably just go to the driving range near our house for now.  I’ve only been golfing (can I count mini golf too, haha) once in my life, so he will need to teach me pretty much everything.  Am I better off taking lessons or learning from my boyfriend?  I dunno.  I enjoy the fact that the two of us aren’t opposed to learning new things, and it is AWESOME to finally be with somebody who likes doing all kinds of activities with me.  I mean, I might be boring the shit out of you guys with my talk of feathered creatures, but it is just so fun for me to be in the woods looking for critters, and it means so much to me that Cubs is willing to get into my hobbies.  And that is why I honestly want to learn to golf.

Well, I better get off of lappy.  We rented Little Big Planet 2 for the second time, and are going to spend tonight playing it.  Aww yeah.  Just another crazy Saturday night around here.

3fc UPDATE- I am able to comment (for the first time in forever) on the 3fc blogs again.  Does this mean that you gals can comment on my 3fc blog again, or are there still problems?  I am left wondering about it.  I decided to go back to double posting so that the 3fc readers could still leave comments on my blogs, but right around that time the site started having all kinds of crazy problems.  Are any of you still blogging here?

(WHEW!  I finally finished catching up with all of the blogs and what not.  I really need to not get behind)

Jeepies!  I am having a tough time keeping up with my blog lately, it seems.  I’ve been doing the bizarre-o spring cleaning of the heart and soul, and maybe some of that stuff is better left untyped.  My birthday and two year Blogiversary are just around the corner in August, and I am thinking about where I am now and where I want to be.

Where I am now:  I am twenty eight and still trying to find my place in the world.  I feel like I know myself half way.  There are ideas of things I want to do and the way that I’d like to live, and then there are parts of me that are in limbo la-la land and those bitchy black eyed bastard buggy bits cling to my heals, claws sunk in, whispering poisoned promises into my ears that I’m never gonna grow up all the way because it just isn’t safe.  Stay here with us they murmur because you’re going to fall flat on your face and be a disaster. Some days I wish that I had bullet proof ear plugs placed on my pillow by fairies as I slept.  When I put them in they don’t block out sound, instead they block out all negative and self defeating thoughts. Instead of my inner buggy bastard beast saying annoying crap like the world isn’t safe, and people are going to fuck you over, he will now yodel on about how unbefuckinlievably rollerskating hound dog cool I am.

Where I am now:  I am still food crazy, sleep sick, and as dreamy distant as the hills.  I’ve realized just how nervous a lot of people and situations make me.  I realize that my toughest obstacle is getting myself to believe that I am noticed and appreciated, that the world is safe and friendly, and that I can lovingly create a life of beauty and adventure.  I make affirmation necklaces to sell to other people because I know how badly that I need a promising potion bottle around my own neck.

Where I am now:  Both etsy shops are making sales.  Not a lot of sales, but they are making sales.  My desire to sell sparkly treasures to others, and trot around offering my gypsy wares has not gone away.  When I was little what did I want to be when I grew up?  I wanted to be a writer.  I wanted to be a creator of crafty trinkets and art.  So I am going to keep trying until there is nothing left of me.  I have twenty four necklaces that I want to get posted this week, and a shit ton more crystals.  I love what I make and other people are falling in love with it too- I just have to keep pecking away at it and be patient.

Where I am now:  I live in an enchanted house in Kenosha, Wisconsin.  There are giant poppies painted on the wall all the way up the stairs, and storybook fairy tale paper glued to the walls in the kitchen.  A fertility goddess reaches her arms up and out on the wall near the back door, and everywhere the eye goes is art and color and creation.  It is a strange castle, and it is going to foreclose, so the princess in the tallest tower is trying to figure out where next to land her draw bridge.  She leans towards Madison, because it seems that her prince needs to stick to this region for another year and a half, but she misses the salty salty sea.

Well, the princess is off to the tallest tower to get a bit of reading done.  Hope you all have a thrilling Cinco de Mayo.

I haven’t dropped off the face of the Earth, if that’s what some of yous are thinking.  I should make a sheep joke and change yous to ewes.  Ye gads, I’m retarded sometimes.  Let’s just start over.

I’ve been meaning to update, but a shit ton of my family was in town because we had a party for my grandmother’s ninetieth birthday.  Jecca’s mom (who I love, but she is definitely batshit crazy like so many of us) stayed here for the last week or so, and that was interesting.  Is it ok if I leave it at that?  Cubby and I actually fled to my mother’s house for two nights just because the crazy was too much for me to handle.  Yeah, you heard me right.  I chose to haul ass to my oh-so-soothing mother’s house because for once there was a lesser amount of crazy there.

The past week was quite stressful- I ain’t even gonna sugar coat it.  I got myself so worked up all week that I was seriously a bundle of nerves.  I know it has been two months since I miscarried, but I was thinking about it a lot.  Many of my cousins have adorable young children, and nice houses, and stable careers and all that jazz- and here I am living in a house that is going to foreclose, and still trying to find my way in the world, and my little babies died and were washed out of me into the bath tub.  I scattered their ashes into Lake Michigan.  Soooooooo, when I get asked what I’ve been up to I always feel awkward at first.  I feel like I have two black eyes, and scars on my wrists, and everybody can see that I am still chasing rainbows.  What’s a girl to do?  I love my family, and I also feel like a nappy headed black sheep.  It’s really my problem, and my illusions, and I wish I could let it the fuck go… hopefully I will sometime soon.

It was great seeing a lot of my cousins, and most especially Jecca’s younger brother.  He’s a couple of years younger than me, but we have lived together several times, and he’s sort of a pseudo brother to me.  I’m glad that he was able to make it up here (he lives near Orlando), because I needed a few laughs.

This week I am posting twenty four new necklaces and thirty or so more crystals into the shops.  I have been thinking about trying Art Fire out, but am not completely sure how their pricing works yet.  I know they charge a monthly fee (Etsy does not), but I don’t know what sort of other percentage they take out of sales (if any).  It is fourteen dollars a month.  Hmm.  Decisions, decisions.

I am getting sleepy, so I will post more tomorrow.  I simply must tell you about my makeup adventure that happened earlier.

Today we planted our new indoor herb garden.  In the back row is oregano, chives, parsley (flat leaf) and english lavender.  In the front row is thyme, sage, genovese basil, and another english lavender.  I decided to hold off on planting the other Earth Box and the round planter, because it is very early in the season and the selection of herbs was extraordinarily limited.  What you see here is about all that is being offered right now.  I may tack a piece of fancy fabric around the box- or perhaps I will paint it so that it looks a little fancier than it does at the moment.  I am leaning towards fabric, and then using beaded ribbon around the top edge to give a nice gypsy look.  (Yep, that’s right- I want to make a cozy for the Earth Box)  We also decided to spread rocks over the top just in case Lendri Sprocket (the grey beastie) was tempted to dig in it.

We went to the dollar store to buy the rocks, and because they were only a dollar a bag we may have gotten carried away.  :)  Three of the bags we bought are over half full, so I guess we can just use them up in a couple of weeks when I plant the other box.  I still want sweet bay, rosemary, and marjoram, but am undecided on what else to put in the second box.  The rosemary and bay will go in the back as they are tall and all that, and I was thinking maybe cuban oregano, another type of basil (thai or purple), and jasmine.  I kind of want a gardenia, but from what I have read they are difficult to grow well indoors.  I have a multitude of pots in the garage, so perhaps I could try growing one on its own.  Do any of you have any experience with growing gardenias indoors?

Today I had to drop off my car for a good fixin’ because the cables that pull the motorized windows up and down are so used up that the one on the passenger side snapped.  The driver’s side window will only go up if I push the window up with my hand while pressing the button, so I told the guy he may as well fix that one as well.  I was driving around for over a week with a plastic shower liner duck taped to the window, because the parts had to be ordered.  Ok.  I should tell the whole truth.  I have been driving around with a shower curtain for a window for two and a half weeks.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if the plastic didn’t rattle and make so much noise.

My original plan was to create an indoor herb garden today, and I am hoping that my car will be fixed by tomorrow because I am ready to plant stuff- now now now.  I have two empty Earth Boxes that are twelve by twenty nine inches, and a ginormous round pot (plastic) that usually sits outside and gets annuals planted in it in the summer time.  I am going to fill the Earth Boxes with perennial herbs and scented flowers, and then stick them in the upstairs hallway.  The south facing window makes this an ideal location for such a project, and I’ve thought about doing it for years.  It seems like a perfect idea at the moment, because we hope to move out by the end of summer anyway.  I don’t want to plant stuff and leave it behind.

Here are a couple of pics so that you can visualize what the heck I am talking about.

My bloggy friend, Ellen, mentioned deck gardening in a recent post, and I am wondering if she has ever heard of or used Earth Boxes before…  If she hasn’t, I must take a moment to recommend them, and tell her how awesome and easy they are to use.  Check out the Earth Box website, and then just trust me and order some.   I have the older ones, but the new ones even come on wheels.  Oh, heaven!!  These suckers will grow the most beautiful flowers and vegetables that you have ever seen.  The system is self watering, and once it is set up for the spring/summer there is no need for any further fertilizing or weeding.  Earth Box containers are designed to maximize the yield and flower production of plants that are limited to small spaces, so they are perfect for porches and decks, and areas where the soil is poor.

Jeepers, I sound like I am working for them in that last paragraph.  I get so nerdy about endorsing products that I love.

The first box that I create will have the basic cooking herbs that I love to use fresh, but grumble and gripe about over paying for them at the grocery store.  These include: parsley, sage, chives, marjoram, thyme (possibly lemon thyme if I am feeling fancey), basil, rosemary, and oregano.  It would be nice to have tarragon and winter savory as well, but I don’t want the box to get too crowded.  In the second box I am going to grow sweet bay, gardenia, lavender, and some scented geraniums.  Yesterday I googled “top fragrant houseplants” and found this helpful article which gave me some good ideas.  I wouldn’t mind giving cuban oregano a try, but I don’t know if my garden store carries it or not.

So why am I so interested in lovely scented plants, you ask?  Wellllll, the upstairs hallway is where the litter box is tucked away.  I keep it clean, but I have a sensitive nose and can always smell even the fresh litter.  I figure there is plenty of sun and space up there for plants, and the only plant currently residing in that location is a large rubber tree that was rescued from a dumpster (and is now growing madly and beautifully) at least five years ago.  Her name is Grace.  She could probably use some company, and the fresh scent of the other plants will neutralize the smell of that dang cat box.  I will have plenty of fresh herbs on hand to use in the kitchen, and when we move we (and by “we” I mean Cubby) can simply lift the plants and take them with us.

My eventual goal is to live in a place that is literally overflowing with plants.  I want hooks in every window with hanging baskets full of herbs, vegetables, and flowers.  Ah… sounds so dreamy.

Remember in my last post when I mentioned sashaying around in front of the mirror naked?  Well, I just have to tell you that it is seriously fun, and I think that you should try it.  Embellish the sashays with sound effects and whistling for extra fun.  It is in the seventies today, but rainy, so something in the air combined with the humidity is making the nakee-time hip circles extra sultry.  Good god, I am such a freaky deaky girl.

Oh, and ya know how I mentioned that I was reuniting myself with black cups of coffee?  Because healthy size me always drank black coffee cause she was totally in love with it?  Well, I don’t know what it is exactly that happens when I have one or two cups a day, but I feel like I am literally transforming.  I believe that much of it is tied into my self script, and the beliefs that I had about myself for the last six years.

I ceased coffee drinking six years ago because I was attempting to enforce rigid rules in order to improve my health.  My health was actually quite good, but suddenly I thought that I needed to be much thinner than I was.  My weight at the time was healthy and easy to maintain, but I got it in my head that I ought to weigh twenty five pounds less.  I suddenly got it in my mind that there was such a thing as a BAD food/ beverage.  It was at that time that in my mind I decided that I could only be healthy if I ate certain foods and ceased touching many others that I labelled as bad and forbidden.  It was after enforcing all these stupid rules that I gained about sixty pounds.  It was after imposing rules upon myself and thinking that I was too fat that I actually became too fat because I was bingeing on forbidden foods.  I was not fat when I made up all of those rules for myself, but it seems that I made myself fat to prove to myself that the negative beliefs I had about myself were true.

So I am not saying that drinking a cup or two of coffee a day is going to help anybody else drop any extra pounds.  What I am saying is that somehow coffee is tied in with deep beliefs about myself and my weight.  It is a symbol of a false belief that only through sacrifice and self denial can I ever become healthy.

Interesting.  Very interesting.

Ahoy!  Namaste!  The days since my last post have been much kinder.  I swear- I am such an emotional creature these days.  I am trying to take it slow and give myself room for healing.  I try to be patient with myself and keep moving forward.  It works a little at a time.

I was just sashaying around naked in front of my mirror and cannot help but notice my shrinking waistline.  I still don’t want to weigh myself, because I have decided I need to be “cured” of my insanity before I hop back onto that tiny square motherfucker of doom otherwise known as  satan the scale.  Buuuuuuuut, I am feeling a bit lighter and I would guess that I am around the size of a manatee two with the twin zeroes after it.

How does healthy size me live I keep asking myself.  And then I try to take up the habits of healthy size me.

Things that I am taking up:

COFFEEEEEEE!!!  I have taken up coffee drinking after a six year period of staying away from caffeine.  Healthy size me drank coffee cause she loved (and still loves in spite of our long break up) black cups of coffee.  I gave up caffeine back in the days when I was slightly brained washed into thinking that some foods/beverages had higher spiritual properties and energies than other foods/ beverages.  Hah!  What a crock.

Salsa!  Yeah, the two dvds that I ordered came in the mail today, and I am mega stoked.  Cubby is away this weekend, but you better believe that come Monday we’re going to be having our first living room salsa lesson.   I also got a dvd called Salsa Solo that teaches women salsa moves sans partner, so that I can practice steps even when he isn’t around.  Healthy size me is a sultry dance floor sex goddess.  She is also very modest.  ;)

Serious birding.  I went to a new wildlife area yesterday with Cubby and Sparks, and realized that my passion for nature and staring at things makes obsessive birding an obvious choice for an active hobby for me.  *Double wink*  Sparks and Cubby are not nearly as crazy about it as I am, so I am considering finding a birding group.  I will still go with Cubby, of course, but it would be nice to meet some new people.  It’s splendid to have people around that are truly passionate about the same nerdy hobbies.  My dad is a serious birder, and so are my cousins (they live in Orlando, boo!)- and they are generally interested when I mention that I saw a belted kingfisher and a pair of mute swans.  Dad was so impressed with my new birding app today that he is considering getting an Iphone to replace his Blackberry.  When I was showing Cubby and Sparks they were sort of nodding and smiling, ya know?  I totally understand, but I must revel in my own brand of nerd-dom.

Now I don’t want to overload myself with new healthy size me rules and regulations, so for the time being I’m keeping it simple.  Baby steps.  Remember that I am a sloth with several leg casts and a head cone.