One woman…

…on a mission to get healthy!

I had a dream February 16, 2013

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 9:05 am

To say this dream was an eye opener would be an understatement. I’ve had weird dreams but this one wouldn’t rank as high on the weirdo-meter than most.
The gist (it started out in movie format but had a moment in the middle with me being an active participant):

It was a Biggest Loser meets Fear Factor type TV show but I had more of a behind-the-scenes look. This one had one guy who was maybe 20 pounds overweight on out who believed the whole show was pretty much fake. The majority of the dream was following the day-to-day activities on the ranch.
Then the final challenge/weigh in. The contestants (who were in pairs this time) would step to the side & give a brief diary spiel then get harnessed in to be weighed. They then had to jump up to a platform that was raised, weighed & then zip lined into a water park type slide, them had to sprint to the end. While sprinting their loss came up on a jumbotron & they did another off the cuff interview. It was down to 20-pounds guy, his partner & a set of twins for who would be the lowest amount lost. Guy gets on the scale & says I expect for us top be the lowest since I don’t believe this works. Oh a Jeff Probst/Bob Harper hybrid was the host. He climbs up to the scale mechanism, gives his which team will be on the bottom speech & leaps them off to commercial. Last guy to weigh in goes to climb onto the scale but production crews start raising the platform. Rather than just lowering it back down, they make him attempt to swing himself up. He knocked over the scale, kicked the cameraman off the perch, but made it onto the platform. Then it cuts to one of the guys doing a victory lap interview making all kinds of funny arm poses, faces & body gestures. Then it showed his family in the stands commenting how he’s a new man & the show had helped him to find his confidence, blah blah. Cut to the host who says sometimes scenes may be weeks old or live & that it was part of the new format. Next shot is of an old woman (picture the lady from the Titanic movie at the end with her hair all down & flowing) doing her victory lap saying she’s just happy to get to go on the ride.
Then it cuts to a shot of me doing the final jog. I can’t remember all of what I said but in my tearful speech I was saying how the kids always tried to encourage me to lose weight & I couldn’t even do it for them. (That’s when I started crying.) I continued with I always just assumed fear is what held me back from losing weight when all along it was pure & simple laziness.

It was so real. My dream switched to me starting to do daily video diaries of my journey. I woke up feeling one of those light bulb moments. I KNOW I can do this. I have all the tools necessary but I’m too damn lazy to want to put forth the effort.
The question is do I truly WANT to change? I want to be able to run a marathon & not have to shop in the plus size section. I want lots of things I know my weight is holding me back. But do I want it enough to put forth the effort to make it happen? Right now? I don’t know. Besides fear & laziness I have hate. I HATE the hand I was dealt & that I have to work so hard @ it. In my mind I know everyone works hard at being fit; not just those of us who need to lose weight but I’m stuck in the “why me” loop.
I don’t mind that I need to log my foods & plan out exercise. I HATE having to come up with menus (and normally I love to plan). We’ve eaten unhealthy for so long that our usual go to items aren’t healthy. I would love to have someone plan the meals for me without having to pay an arm & a leg.
I have just over one week where I have a lot of time to get in exercise Biggest Loser style before I start my new job & life takes on a new twist. The question is will I?
I at least know what I need to do now. It’s time to set out my short-term & long-term goals with my plan to achieve them & to figure out how to lose the laziness.