One woman…

…on a mission to get healthy!

Revelation February 5, 2014

Filed under: Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 11:45 am

Yeah it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Guess I’m not doing too well at keeping up with it, but I’m gonna try. As I’m relaxing this morning—reading a book—I realized something. I was thinking about the fact that I’ve lost 16 pounds in one month. When you start out at over 330 pounds, that’s just a small drop in the hat. (5% of my body weight) And then I’m thinking in six months that’s 160 pounds! That would put me at under 180, which is what I weighed starting my senior year in high school.

That can’t be possible. Who does that? Who loses over 150 pounds in less than a year? These are questions rolling through my overactive brain. Then the answer came to me. I CAN! I have been beating myself up about not really putting much effort into exercising and I told myself that I lost 16 pounds just by eating within a set amount of calories and increasing my water intake. Imagine what I could accomplish if I actually put forth a little more effort!

This is probably the first time EVER since I started trying to make healthy changes in my life that it hit me that I can truly do this (and not when I was on that euphoric high of first starting out and had the world in my hands). I have honestly just been going through the motions (but going through them) and I lost 16 pounds (and 3 inches off my waist)!

Yes I know that realistically me losing 16 pounds a month until I get to a healthy weight isn’t all that realistic. It is possible and it’s a goal for me to shoot for but not beat myself up if it doesn’t happen. This is the rest of my life and not a race. The weight will come off, I will gain muscle and I will live the life of a healthy person!

 

One week down… January 13, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — dawnyalh @ 2:43 pm

…Ten pounds gone! I’m okay with that. I’m feeling out of control though right now. I did great all week on exercising and logging foods. I stayed under my calorie goals each day but I’m just feeling wonky. I don’t know that I can explain it.

A friend suggested this year instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions to pick a word you want to work on throughout the year. I slept on it and the word that came back to me over and over was organization. I want to be better organized in every aspect of my life. I’m just getting overwhelmed with all that entails and I have pressing items coming up in the next couple of weeks that I have to devote a lot of my time toward. I’m taking it one day at a time and the good news is I’m not stress eating.

I’m sure my excitement mojo will return soon. I’m going to just continue doing what I’m doing now and see where it takes me.

 

Going steady January 8, 2014

Filed under: Exercise, Food — dawnyalh @ 2:37 pm

Yeah, yeah I’m only 3 days in but I’m doing better than I have in times past and that says something. I’m logging my calories, getting in my exercise, trying new foods. Speaking of new foods…OMG Just had some Dannon Light & Fit Greek Raspberry Chocolate yogurt for 80 calories. Yum, yum, yum. Works perfect for when I’ll be craving something sweet.

I haven’t let setbacks that I now call life, hamper my motivation and determination. Yesterday I logged into WOWY to start my workout. I went to the living room to press play and the DVD remote is MIA. I was not a happy camper. I got in a decent workout trying to find the darned thing. I had to wait for the kids to come home and one of them knew right where it was. Last night’s workout I’m sure was a total guilt workout since I’d technically said I performed it that morning. It was worth it even if I did stay up a bit later than I wanted.

Today’s adversity? We have no running water at the moment. I passed a huge gushing water line break this morning taking the kids to school. Luckily I filled up the water pitchers before we lost water a couple of hours ago. So I might stink by tonight but that’s okay. I can always drive out to Mom’s and borrow her shower if need be.

I’ve been to the grocery store and stocked up on snacks and more food to cook. Now to sit down and make a menu for the next week to help keep me on track.

 

Goals January 6, 2014

Filed under: Goals — dawnyalh @ 3:16 pm

Time to talk about goals. I want to have several short term and long term ones.

Short Term Goals

  • Get in at least 80 oz. of water/day
  • Exercise at least 30 min/day 6 days a week
  • Measure every two weeks
  • Log all food/exercise into MyFitnessPal

Long Term Goals

  • Get down to below 200 pounds
  • Maintain healthy habits of eating well and exercising
  • Give up my beloved Diet Mt. Dew (and all other carbonated drinks)
  • Give up all artificial sweeteners (keeping Stevia)

I’ve tried to sit down and put this in writing several times today and I keep forgetting the ones I wanted to put. This will do for now. :)

 

Same stuff…new year January 5, 2014

Filed under: Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 6:44 pm

I suppose I could probably pull any one of my blog posts I’ve posted in any January and just clip and paste. Without looking back I’m sure they’ve all probably got the same amount of past excuses and positive outlooks on how this year is going to be different. I’m not. You know how this year is different? Me neither. J/K
It’s going to be a different year because I’m not going to let myself give up on me. I have the time and will gain the energy to keep myself motivated. I have the tools I need to succeed. What I lack is the mental wherewithal to keep it going. I know that is my main weakness and I’m going to overcome it. And, I hate failing. I’m taking a different approach and telling myself that those gazillion pounds I’ve lost AND gained over the past however many years weren’t failures. They were learning experiences and I’ve got an amazing education on what not to do. :)
I’m not pulling up any of my old pictures or weight loss graphs to see what I’m capable of…I know what I can do. This time it is one day at a time, one meal at a time if necessary. We are all living our lives. The question is how do you want to live it? I choose to live my life to my healthiest best and stop being unhealthy, unhappy, and unmotivated.

 

I had a dream February 16, 2013

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 9:05 am

To say this dream was an eye opener would be an understatement. I’ve had weird dreams but this one wouldn’t rank as high on the weirdo-meter than most.
The gist (it started out in movie format but had a moment in the middle with me being an active participant):

It was a Biggest Loser meets Fear Factor type TV show but I had more of a behind-the-scenes look. This one had one guy who was maybe 20 pounds overweight on out who believed the whole show was pretty much fake. The majority of the dream was following the day-to-day activities on the ranch.
Then the final challenge/weigh in. The contestants (who were in pairs this time) would step to the side & give a brief diary spiel then get harnessed in to be weighed. They then had to jump up to a platform that was raised, weighed & then zip lined into a water park type slide, them had to sprint to the end. While sprinting their loss came up on a jumbotron & they did another off the cuff interview. It was down to 20-pounds guy, his partner & a set of twins for who would be the lowest amount lost. Guy gets on the scale & says I expect for us top be the lowest since I don’t believe this works. Oh a Jeff Probst/Bob Harper hybrid was the host. He climbs up to the scale mechanism, gives his which team will be on the bottom speech & leaps them off to commercial. Last guy to weigh in goes to climb onto the scale but production crews start raising the platform. Rather than just lowering it back down, they make him attempt to swing himself up. He knocked over the scale, kicked the cameraman off the perch, but made it onto the platform. Then it cuts to one of the guys doing a victory lap interview making all kinds of funny arm poses, faces & body gestures. Then it showed his family in the stands commenting how he’s a new man & the show had helped him to find his confidence, blah blah. Cut to the host who says sometimes scenes may be weeks old or live & that it was part of the new format. Next shot is of an old woman (picture the lady from the Titanic movie at the end with her hair all down & flowing) doing her victory lap saying she’s just happy to get to go on the ride.
Then it cuts to a shot of me doing the final jog. I can’t remember all of what I said but in my tearful speech I was saying how the kids always tried to encourage me to lose weight & I couldn’t even do it for them. (That’s when I started crying.) I continued with I always just assumed fear is what held me back from losing weight when all along it was pure & simple laziness.

It was so real. My dream switched to me starting to do daily video diaries of my journey. I woke up feeling one of those light bulb moments. I KNOW I can do this. I have all the tools necessary but I’m too damn lazy to want to put forth the effort.
The question is do I truly WANT to change? I want to be able to run a marathon & not have to shop in the plus size section. I want lots of things I know my weight is holding me back. But do I want it enough to put forth the effort to make it happen? Right now? I don’t know. Besides fear & laziness I have hate. I HATE the hand I was dealt & that I have to work so hard @ it. In my mind I know everyone works hard at being fit; not just those of us who need to lose weight but I’m stuck in the “why me” loop.
I don’t mind that I need to log my foods & plan out exercise. I HATE having to come up with menus (and normally I love to plan). We’ve eaten unhealthy for so long that our usual go to items aren’t healthy. I would love to have someone plan the meals for me without having to pay an arm & a leg.
I have just over one week where I have a lot of time to get in exercise Biggest Loser style before I start my new job & life takes on a new twist. The question is will I?
I at least know what I need to do now. It’s time to set out my short-term & long-term goals with my plan to achieve them & to figure out how to lose the laziness.

 

It’s a love hate relationship January 31, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — dawnyalh @ 1:35 pm

I love how I feel AFTER and most times DURING workouts but I haven’t found that mojo where I’m drooling at the mouth, can’t wait to exercise feeling just yet. It still feels like a chore. But I’m doing it. I’ve got goals to exercise 3x a day. I have the time. I might as well utilize it. I have my standing Slim in 6 workout and have been having fun with the Wii Fit for 30 minutes. I’m doing mostly the high energy exercises on it—hula hoop, obstacle course, boxing—and throwing in some of the other ones for brief breaks. Then on M-W-F I have the couch-5k training and T-T-S Wii Biggest Loser. This week I did two workouts M-T, three yesterday and am on my way to my second today. I’m waiting for lunch to settle and trying to upload something that needs to be emailed. After I pick up the kids from school, we’re going to come home and play outside for a bit and while I have dinner cooking will do my third workout of the day.
I told myself I HAVE to step up my workouts if I want to see losses. Hopefully I won’t dread them when I wake up in the mornings and it will be one of the things I most look forward to for my day.
The rest of my day will be spent planning menus for the upcoming couple of weeks, some laundry, and just enjoying life.

 

New year, same me…for now! January 30, 2013

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 10:57 pm

Well it’s been about six months since I last visited (wrote in) my blog. Time has passed. My life’s been lived and yet I’m still facing the same demons—learning how to eat healthy and get regular exercise. I know the ins and outs. It’s the mental battle I’m waging this time.
We are a month into the new year and I’m happy to report I’ve been eating healthy and exercising regularly for the most part. I tipped the scales on Jan. 1 at 336 pounds (just 8 pound shy of my all-time high). I had my brief pity party and looked back on the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s; put on my big girl panties and got to work.
It hasn’t been coming off as quickly as I would have liked (or what I’ve seen in times past) and I’m okay with that. I’m getting healthy and that’s the most important aspect of this journey.
I stepped on my Wii fit this afternoon to exercise and was disappointed that I still weighed the same from Monday—despite working out 2x a day thus far this week (3x today) and staying well within my calories. Then it hit me. I’m taking not one, but two medications that cause weight gain. Not only have I lost a couple inches each in my chest and waist, I’m down 12 pounds in a month. That’s an average of 3 pounds a week. Not too shabby if I do say so myself! (And I’ll address the meds at my next doc appointment and hopefully drop one and change another so I won’t have to battle my medication as well as everything else.)
The year that was 2012 brought many ups and downs in my life (and not just the number on the scale). I quit my job in October. I was tired of all the stress and decided it was time for a change. I’ve been enjoying being a SAHM for now. After Thanksgiving my Dad was diagnosed with non-operable stage-4 pancreatic cancer. That came as a shock. I’ve shed many tears and have cherished the time I get to spend with him. He’s on his second round of 3 weeks on 1 week off of chemo and will continue that for another month before he has a PET scan to see what the chemo has done. He’s been doing amazing! With the type of chemo he gets, it’s unlikely he’ll lose his hair. While I’m working my ass off to lose weight, he’s doing everything he can to gain.
I’m once again working on a 3-month health challenge. I’m utilizing the Slim in 6 series and again attempting the couch-5k program. I’d like to participate in the Color Run and the OKC Memorial Run—both in April. My daughter is doing the training with me because you know, who wants to do the Color Run by herself? :) Depending on how well I’m jogging (or wogging in my case) at the first of March will determine whether or not I enter the 5k or half-marathon for the Memorial. Optimistic I know but I’ve had a dream to run at least the half-marathon for that race for a long time. If not this year, it will be next.
One thing I noticed with her—both Monday with the c25k training Monday and her doing Biggest Loser workout on the Wii tonight—is that even though she may be a healthy weight, her stamina just wasn’t there. She tried to sprint the first 1-minute run and had to walk before the minute was up. The next few times, even though she slowed down, I had better stamina than she did. Tonight she was doing some yoga poses (Warrior, etc.) and had trouble holding them. It really opened my eyes that we (the kids and I) need to workout more as a family. I don’t need to depend on the exercising they are doing at school to be enough. We need to work on their core.

 

Time goes on July 3, 2012

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals — dawnyalh @ 12:38 pm

And yet I’ve stood still…or so it seems. Can’t remember the last time I posted anything here. (I’m sure I could look it up.) To say I was derailed would be an understatement. When I figured out we wouldn’t be able to take our amazing trip last month, the wind went out of my sails and I stopped trying as hard. Attempted a challenge at the beginning of the year only to drop out with 6 weeks left because I was just so overwhelmed with everything. I ended up gaining 15 more pounds in the interim…putting me back up to 305.

I started a new challenge yesterday and I’m determined to stick to it. Slim in 6 is going to be my friend. :) I’m on day two and already woke up with a massive migraine that sidelined this morning’s workout. I have the DVD loaded and ready to play. I’m going to have to do it tonight…I HAVE to do it so I can “earn” the extra calories. I’m not sure what is wrong with me but I’m hunger. All. The. Time. I’ve been having small 100 calorie or less snacks and waiting 30-45 minutes between eating them to make sure I’m full drinking a lot of water but it doesn’t seem to help. I’m just going to take it as is and try to make the healthiest choices possible.

I signed up again to do the Race for the Cure in September. I’m going to be better prepared this time with my inhaler and going to work on the c25k program. I guess that’s about it in a nutshell.

 

It’s been a while October 18, 2011

Filed under: Exercise, Food, Goals, Weight Loss — dawnyalh @ 10:52 am

This is my life. It tends to get in the way of my blogging. What can I say? My weight loss is going FANTASTIC. I couldn’t ask for better results! I’ve lost 10 pounds in the last month with 5.7 of them coming off in the last two weeks and that was with Mother Nature’s visit. I’m now down to 279.1. Again I had to look twice because the weight didn’t register when I looked at it. I’m not in the 280s anymore. Most days when I log my calories into MFP it now tells me I can be in the 260s in 5 weeks. It always brings a smile to my face.

The past couple of weekends I have had some excessive eating/drinking. Two weeks ago was the Girl’s Weekend out so that one was completely planned and expected. Back on track Monday morning. Went to the Zoo on Saturday and walked for a couple of hours and then Mom treated us to Golden Corral where I did fine up until the end and went overboard on desserts. It wasn’t near what it would’ve been in the past but I did eat to being completely miserable.

Yesterday we ate at the Arches for dinner and then I was famished (yes famished) last night and snacked on cookies and chips and dip. My healthy portion of my eating hasn’t been where it needs to be. I am logging what I eat though and I did go through a couple of weeks where I was barely getting 1200 calories. I’m guessing my body just needed the extra calories and the carrot sticks just didn’t sound good.

I wish I could say I’ve been exercising like a mo-fo but that is pretty much non-existent except for the 2 hikes from a couple weeks ago and the walking at the Zoo. I just can’t get myself motivated to do it. I signed up to do the World Run Day on Nov. 5 and committed to a 5k and haven’t done any running/jogging/walking since the Race on Sept. 17. I keep telling myself “you need to start” and then don’t. I was going to yesterday and then the I’m getting sick excuse came up. I am getting sick with a sore throat, chest hurting, aching all over like I’m coming down with the flu but it just seems like I can come up with any excuse to keep from doing any exercise.

I keep trying to tell myself just set a date that you are going to start exercising at the very least but then I shy away from it. I don’t know if I’m afraid if I start doing it that I’m going to do too much and then fail or what but I need to figure it out. I really do like to exercise once I start. I can’t get myself to the starting line.

 

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