From clumpy chick to chic chic

Ok.  Here I am.  225 pounds.  Fat.  “medically obese”.

I can’t say how many times I’ve started this blog.  I never knew what to say.  I want to be an inspiration to someone someday.  But for now, I need to be an inspiration for me.  I have not always been overweight.  When I got married in 2001 I was an alright size.  Back in 2000 I was skinny.  Prior to that, I’ve been downright scary skinny.  I was anorexic, trying to gain the approval of my boyfriend.  BTW, he never wanted me to be that skinny, I was just obsessed.

Anyway, back on track.  I have had 6 beautiful children.  At this time, I have a daughter who is 7, a son who is 5, twin 4 year old boys, a two year old boy, and a 7 month old boy.  During my pregnancies I gained, and gained, and gained.  I denied myself nothing.  If I craved it, I ate it.  No questions asked.  Then I nursed for a year.  I can’t diet while nursing, and I have to have extra calories to nurse, so once again, I ate whatever.  Then, poof I was pregnant again, and the cycle started all over.

I’ve watched my weight go up and up and up.  Stepping on the wonderful scale at the Doctor’s office will do that to you.  I hit 200 with a sinking feeling.  I knew that I would lose it “after”.  After the baby was born. After I was done nursing.  After after after.  Followed amazingly by tomorrow.

It did not come as a surprise that things had to change.  That I had to change.  But I kept putting it off.  There was always a ready made excuse.  I was busy, the baby was crabby, how can I possibly exercise with all the kids….etc.  There are scares too.  I have been having heart palpitations, walking up the stairs isn’t getting any easier, I am winded when I play with the kids, if I even do.  It’s not who I want to be.  It’s not what I want my kids to see.  But the how, and the enormity (no pun intended) of the situation was overwhelming.  I couldn’t do it, there was too much to lose.

Thankfully there was a bright spot for me.  A friend from another board mentioned 3fatchicks.com.  I had to check it out.  Wow.  There were real people there.  Not just those looking to lose 20 pounds.  But 50, 80, 100, 150 pounds or more.  And there were people that were doing it.  And real people that had done it.  If they could do it, I could.  So I dipped my toe in.  I made an introduction thread, and expected nothing.  But there it was…support.  People just like me, similar goals, supporting ME!  Here was somewhere I could belong.

So here I go.  I want to post successes, failures, and everything in between.  Hopefully someday someone will read this.  And think I can do it too.

.