I’m excited to share this because it kinda looks like I’m starting to get an hour glass shape… how exciting. — I don’t remember ever having an hour glass shape.  Those are the same pants, they are definitely gettin’ saggy in the butt.  I’m gonna keep ‘em around though and wear them with a belt.  No point in wasting money on a size 16 when that’s not where I wanna stop!  I’ve done pretty ok with food  lately, I’m still not counting calories, but I’m not doing second helpings of anything and I’m still trying to keep under my carb limit which is 150g per day.  That’s hard considering how much of a carbivore I am.  So far I’m 14lbs down and I couldn’t be happier… if I keep working at it, I can make my x-mas goal of making it to onederland!  I also joined a new challenge for Valentines day and I’m hoping to make it to 185 by then.  That’s 14 weeks and 29 pounds… hopefully I won’t tapper off after I hit 199.

Hope everyone else is doin’ alright and attempting to stay OP!  STAY STRONG, we can so do it!!

In which I didn’t really stay on plan. :/ (as a side note, this is more life bloggy than diet bloggy… I apologize for that, but this blog is kinda both for me!) Friday night my school hosted a Harry Potter Palooza which was a blast… it was like a mini con that I didn’t have to pay for.  It was so much fun.  Saturday I went to the OU/KSU game and I was on TV twice — my aunt had to call my grandma and tell her how good I’m looking now.  w00t!  After the game I went to my friends Halloween party and that’s where my diet really turned south because I had alcohol, and I really have been trying to stay away from the alcohol.  But ya gotta let loose every now and then, and lemme tell ya… put alcohol in me and my shell is completely gone.  I kinda spent the night kissin’ this guy, who luckily for me wasn’t a complete stranger… although I’m not sure if that makes it better.  Anywho, he wanted me to stay the night with him (um, no no… bad idea) and he said that he’d add me on facebook so that I could call him… I jokingly was like, go ahead thinking more than likely he wouldn’t remember who I was… lo and behold he added me yesterday.  That obviously means he’s interested right?  I was really leaving it up to whether or not he was going to add me, and then when he did I had to formulate a new plan for myself… haha.  I can’t go on thinking that he was only interested in me because he was drunk.  That’s my defense mechanism, and it’s a sucky one.  Anywho, I sent him a message on facebook being friendly and a little flirty so we’ll see where it goes from there!

Oh, one thing about this guy is that I met him about 2 years ago.  We weren’t close at all (he was friends with one of my roomies at the time) when I walked into the party, he didn’t even recognize me.  When I told him that we did in fact know each other, he told me that I looked really different.  Taking that for the compliment it was (obviously, cause I spent all night kissin’ him) I decided to look back at pictures from my first year at college.  I can really see the difference, and this whole experience has been eye opening for me… I’ve always been shut off from male attention because of my weight.  When I was younger my grandma used to tell me that I’m so pretty and when I lose weight, I’d get a boyfriend.  That really stuck with me, thinking that I wasn’t worthy of a relationship because I was overweight.  She didn’t intentionally do that to hurt me, it was her way of encouraging me… unfortunately the opposite happened and I’ve been kinda handicapped when I came to men.  Anyway, enough of that… lol, I’m anxious to see if he messages me back.  If not, I hope that I can take this as a confidence booster, and not let it get me down and depressed! 

Hopin’ I can get back on plan… like tomorrow –I’m comin’ back to you Jillian!!  I am still your bitch! ;)  Until tomorrow, STAY STRONG!!

It’s been over a week since I actually started recording my progress and I’m feeling great!!  I went to the doctor today and before I get any further, they weighed me and I went from 225 to 222.8… so I’m down 2.2 pounds!  I’m so proud!  I am now also being put on thyroid medication because I have an underactive thyroid.  I’m SO glad I went back in to talk to a new doctor, I *love* Dr. Parker and I wish that I could keep her as a doctor even after I’m done with school.  She was very comforting when telling me my problem, and said that there was nothing to worry about and that what I have is treatable.  As far as having any kind of bad issues with my health, this is the best one I could have!  Haha.  So I started the therapy today, I have to take a pill a day probably for the rest of my life.  But if it makes me feel better, I’m so down!  She also said that I can expect some weightloss and I can’t tell you how happy that made me feel.  I know that I’m in this for my health, but I’d like to see the numbers on the scale gradually move downward to the 150s (PLEASE!)

On another note, I just finished my paper with an hour to spare… I’m so good like that.  I plan on cleaning my room tonight before I go home tomorrow.  I love going home, but in a way it’s really bad for me because I never get my exercise in.  Chelle, we *have* to exercise together this weekend!!!  No joke!

Until tomorrow ladies, STAY STRONG, we can do it!!!

Ok, so I went to a dietitian yesterday.  She gave me some great advice, and I’m happy that I went.  I have to cut down on my carbs, which was a no brainer… I’m such a carbavore.  I am limited to 150g of carbs per day which is basically 50 per meal (which I still wanna be able to split for my between meal snacks).  She also told me to up my cardio… apparently when you first start doing cardio it’s burning the sugars and after a while then it starts burning the fat.  So I’m just gonna have to stick it out on the treadmill, no matter how bored I get.

Today’s meal plan:

B: Zone Perfect nutrition bar

L: Ham sandwich on wheat bread, carrot sticks, pudding cup

S: Cheese stick

D: Healthy choice pasta creation, green beans, yogurt

S: Bowl of manderine oranges

This is day one, ground zero.

My ultimate goal is to be healthy.  The weight and inches lost will just be an added bonus.

Let’s start from the beginning.  I’ve always been overweight.  I used to think that I wasn’t when I was younger, but I ran across a picture of me when I was 10 in Hawaii and I have this huge gut that I wasn’t even trying to suck in (I guess I learned that method a little later on in my teen years).

In high school I didn’t really pay attention to my weight.  I was on the colorguard so I was constantly working out and though I never lost weight, I never gained weight either.  I had a great group of friends and that’s all that mattered to me in high school.  At the end of my senior year I got mono.  It was the worst illness I’ve faced to date…. I won’t go into details, but I lost 45 lbs in a week and half and looked pretty bad.  When I could finally keep food down again I ate everything I could get my hands on.  I was bored, stuck at home, and just ate.  I gained those 45lbs back, plus 20 more after graduation because I no longer had colorguard as my exercise.

Fast forward through atkins, weight watchers, LA fitness, and slim fast… I got results from these, but got bored with them fast.  I’m such an instant gratification type of person that if I wasn’t seeing immediate results I’d fall back into bad habits.

What changed: –I had my yearly check up and told my doctor that I wanted to get my cholesterol checked.  High cholesterol runs in my family, and I knew that even though I’m only 24 it was more than likely gonna be high.  It was, but not astronomically.  Something that I can change with diet and exercise, or at least that’s what I thought I should start with.  My doctor thought differently and automatically wanted to refer me to a cardiologist and have me get started on cholesterol meds.  It scared me.  After my visit (and deciding that I would try to diet and exercise first) I started to have chest pains.  I *knew* that my mind was making up symptoms.  It happened when I ate something fried or full of fat… what I knew was bad for me.  At one point I had some steak fingers and fries and had a very public panic attack and that’s when I decided that something needed to change.  That was about 3 weeks ago, I’ve been eating better… trying to fill up on fruits and veggies before eating the main meal.  Exercise whenever I get a chance.  I’ve already started to see results.  The scale hasn’t really been my friend, but again… I’m not too worried with the numbers.  But I went from an XL shirt to a L and it made my day.

I hope that through the support of my friends and family (and my new 3FC family) that I can finally do this.  I don’t want to let the fact that I’m not getting immediate results hinder me from continuing this life changing journey.  Mini goals are going to be my saving grace.

Starting weight: 228 — Current weight: 225 — Goal weight (as of 10/8/09): 160

Mini Goal #1 - Onederland!! (by Christmas 12-25-2009)

Mini Goal #2 - 185 (by Spring Break 3-13-2010)

Mini Goal #3 170 (by end of Spring semester 5-22-2010)

Goal! 160 (or maybe lower if I get there) (by Infinitus 7-15-2010)