Finding Me at 40….

Here I am in my early 40’s , 41 to be exact, and I find myself almost hidding from the world around me.  Why do I hide?  Mainly because I’m not happy with ME, the ME that I am today.  This is going to change, I’m ready to start taking responsibility that to become the ME I want to become, ONLY I can do it.  I have to stop hiding and step out of my shadows and challenge myself to become the self-confident, healthy ME that I want to be.

One of my biggest issues with myself is my weight.  I’m NOT comfortable being seen or socializing, when I’m not comfortable with how I look.  This is such a mental thing to me, I’ve noticed that it affects so much of my day to day decisions and activities.  Does it make me depressed?  Yes.  Does being depressed cause me to eat unhealthy?  Yes.  It affect my attitude towards my husband, kids, and not wanting to go out in public.

Here’s the facts: I’m 41 years old, 5′6″ and 185 lbs.  My goal weight is 135 lbs. 

 Wow, that IS 50 lbs. that I need to loose.  That is alot of weight that I have put on in the past 15 plus years.  No wonder I don’t feel healthy!  I get tired chasing my 1 and 2 year olds, but mentally get stressed dealing with my 18 year old.  I don’t like the “ME” I am today, the “ME” being overweight, unmotivated, short-tempered wife and Mother.  I can do better for myself and for my family- they deserve to know the better “ME”!

Soooo…..now what.  I quess by sitting here and typing this, I’m trying to be honest with myself and realize that this is the day I start making changes.  By starting making better choices and being honest with first myself that I can take the first steps.  Probably educating myself on what it is going to take to get me healthy, start exercising,  consider a diet program to jump start my weight lose,  and put it all out there so that others may keep me accountable.