Fighting the Dark Cloud of pudge!!

Due to work and my trip to CT I have not been at WW for three weeks.  At this point I figured I had gained all the weight I lost (ok that is not a huge leap) and there was no point.  BUT since I paid for a membership until March I decided to go anyway.  Naturally I got the nasty woman who scowls when I gain weight.  Lo and behold I stayed the same!  So, now scowl this week.  The sad truth is I have lost only about 2 pounds in 6 months.  Obviously I have some serious obstacles.  I am stressed and that means I eat chocolate. truth be told, carrots do not cut it when stress strikes.  Also, me work schedule is too jam packed that I cannot work out.

As I mentioned, I am doing some serious reflection - after all this is my health we are talking about!  First of all, as my job is up for renewal, I decided not to apply.  There are a few reasons for this.  First of all, I do not lose a job by not applying -meaning I may not be a dept head but I will still have a teaching job.  Secondly, the extra $4500 a year I get as a dept head, although nice, is not worth the stress I am undergoing.  I am tired of working late and losing anywhere from 1 - 3 days vacation per cycle in order to get my job done - and I am a well organized person!

My third reason for not applying is that they have now created a new resume process - which (like the VP process) requires a workshop to figure out how to do. Personally, I do not like the VP process nor do I think it succeeds in getting strong candidates.  I opted not to go that route as I thought the whole thing was ridiculous.  AND the VP process only required you to have 10 competencies - dept head requires 43!  I would not mind if the 43 were actually what my job is, but they are the ‘extras’ such as outreaching into the neighbourhood or creating equity programmes.  Oddly enough I do all of those things so could prove myself on the resume, but I think the hoops are not worth the salary.  Finally, by sheer coincidence the closest workshop is on a Wed night and i teach at the university those nights.  So, at least I have an excuse (albeit a flimsy one) if my boss bothers me about it.

My present job does not end until the end of Aug so I guess that is a midrange plan.

I have also been thinking about food ( as I know we all do).  Is it a coincidence that the more I read about what I should be eating and practising it, the more I gain?  After all I started this venture (in my life not on this blog) at 132 pounds!  Now I weigh 205.6 (according to WW).  When I look back at the foods I enjoyed as a kid before weight became a major past time (and industry!) I realize I loved vegetables - and was even a vegetarian for a while.  I ate chocolate but was not that thrilled with cookies.  Lo and behold decades later I learned I had a wheat issue.  I like the whites of eggs and not the yolks - years later discovered the whites were better for you.

Maybe it is not about portion control or eating protein with each meal etc.  maybe it is about looking back on what you loved as a kid (with some consideration after all wax lips are not a meal!) and starting there to see what you should and should not eat?

Recently I showed my university class the 7up series from England.(by Grenada).  It began in 1964 when they took a varied group of 7 year olds in England and followed the premise of “show me the child at 7 and I will show you the man”.  Every 7 years they go back and interview the group - with the last one being 49Up.  Many of the adults chose the professions they loved at 7 etc.  Maybe I should be doing the same with food.  Show me the food I loved at age 7 and maybe those are the foods MY body needed to be healthy.

Food for thought??

I am down in CT.  Had I known there was a WW nearby I would have weighed in here.  ButI did not know how close it was so I did not bring my book or card.  Still, I did buy some 1 pt bars - I love the chocolate carmel ones.

AND I am doing some foody soul searching.

Nothing more to tell you!

I had to work this weekend so I did not get to WW.  I will be in CT next weekend and then working the Sat after that - so three weeks without a weigh in.

This was the last week of school for this “quad” (which we have instead of semesters) and it was very stressful.  It must be a planetary line up as everyone I know had a week mirroring mine but it seemed everything I did ended up with a parent or someone calling a superintendent!  Even when I had documented evidence that a VP would do something, and then did not, I got in trouble!  How can that be???  I know sh*t rolls down hill (as my DH tells me).  Nothing severe enough for a reprimand or anything, but enough to get me thinking.  (did you hear the hamsters running?!!)

It is always dangerous when I start thinking - hence why I try to do as little as possible!  I started thinking about the pure cr*p I take at work.  I am not even talking about the students (incidentally the staff are in agreement that the kid who killed someone with a hammer and the girl accused of formerly being in the sex trades are our best students!).  I am tired of the administration bullying me; lying to me and the like.  this happens a lot!  Then I get a few days or even weeks where they are nice to me and all is good and I think this is not such a bad job.  Well, the light bulb went off.  First of all, I am getting all the sugar and honey now because they want me to reapply when our jobs go up for renewal.  Secondly, if I was dating someone who treated me like cr*p most of the time but was occasionally nice - you would all tell me I was in an abusive relationship and to get the heck out of there!!!  I know you would and you have never met me!! I know my friends would tell me to get out - and I would berate them for not doing the same.  So, I am thinking…why am I still there???  For the kids who steal from us every time we turn around???  I do enjoy my staff, but they, too, are seeing the handwriting on the wall.

So, what does this have to do with the dark cloud of pudge??  I know you can see where this is heading…  before I can lose weight, I have to figure out how to deal with stress.  I used to exercise, but I have absolutely no free time what with the day job that always ends two hours after I am supposed to leave (funny how the principal left for vacation at 3pm but I was there until well after 5pm!); teaching at the university once a week (and it takes me two or three nights to get my lecture notes together); taking a Masters degree course; and taking care of my mother - never mind the husband (who also had a yucky week and wants me to help him find a new job - and he is new to Canada )- and the dog..  I do get a bit of walking in but not nearly enough to destress.  Years ago I learned that I need to walk 8 km before the stress starts being relieved.

I am on vacation now until Nov 12.  Aside from the fact that I will have to go into work at least two days of that vacation (I have not even done the time tabling for the kids next quad!! I was too busy writing reports for the superintendent!), and am going to the US for 6 days, and have to still teach night school and do course work for my MEd course, I hope to get some time to start addressing the dealing with stress.  On the up note, we did just qualify for a Wii with points so that should arrive shortly.

Any suggestions will be welcome.  Right now, I relieve stress with chocolate!

Cheers!