Fighting the Dark Cloud of pudge!!

Well it is weigh in again today.  I thought I did ok, but no comment from the scary WW lady made me wonder.  I was glad to read I was down - even if it is only .2.  total loss is 4lbs which means I have ALMOST lost all the weight I regained on vacation and ALMOST where I was after week 1 at WW.

I have been debating buying the 6 month package.  After all I should be here for a LONG time.  When I was stuck and the scale was not moving earlier this week I began thinking “what is holding me back from losing this week?”.  In short what am I dealing with or scared of, or what fear am I not facing that is making me “hold” onto that weight?  My latest revelation on this journey (with the help of the chat at WW) is that each pound is a struggle.  Not to lose the pound, as we all know HOW to lose weight.  It is a struggle to face the fear, or discover the reason we are not moving.  Maybe each pound is a lesson in itself and not just a number?  I mean why is it the day of the weigh in many of us figure once we hit the scale we can ease up for the rest of the day?  We feel we can have that ice cream, or chocolate, of McDonalds, or whatever we crave.  In reality,it is not the scary WW lady we are cheating, it is ourselves as we have to then do the work to lose that extra soda, or whatever.

Food for thought?  (and no calories!)

Hey there. We went to the EX (aka CNE, aka Canadian National Exhibition) last night.  You can well imagine the fair ground food offerings.  One item which ALL Torontonians know well are Tiny Tom donuts.  Each one is about the size of the circle you make when you put your index finger and thumb together to make an “OK” sign.  You get a full dozen with any of an assortment of powders (icing sugar, cinnamon, chocolate etc) and shake the bag.  They are yummy and there is always a “buy two get one free” or the like offer going on.  So we got three dozen - one each and one to share.  oddly enough my DH assured me he could only eat one dozen yet he ate most of the second one.

As you can imagine I dreaded going to WW today for my weigh in after that. In fact I was even thinking of quitting.  But, my DH (the voice of reason) told me not to quit and to go.  I must say the look the woman gives you if you gain - well nothing short of what you got from your parents as a kid!  Anyway, she was not there, and I managed to lose 1.2 pounds!  I am still losing the last big gain I had, but I am getting closer!  When I told DH that I had actually lost 1.2 pounds he, of course, told me “see and you thought about quitting!”. I of course told him I never realized that Tiny Tom donuts were a miracle weight loss product!

Should I add, “weight loss varies” as a disclaimer??

Cheers

I woke up this morning with a slight sore throat from the close contact with the cat in the car.  Revenge???

Other than that, I have heard the cat is settling in well in her new home and Mom seems to be breathing easier (figuratively and literally).  At this point it seems like a win win situation.

The Fetish fair is on down the street in “the village”. I walked through it to get to the drugstore.  Seeing people in leather and interesting chains is one thing.  Seeing people who are not really built for thongs wearing leather ones is another.  The most “shocking” was the man who appeared to be totally naked standing in the streets.  Perhaps he was not, I didn’t want to look too closely.

Have a great day.

So I bit the bullet (figuratively!) and went to WW for my weekly weigh in.  It has been two weeks and, as you know, I was not particularly good while in CT.  After three hours of weeding, and finding leg muscles I had long forgot about, I was feeling pretty good.  When I weighed in I was the exact same as when I left.  NOW, that is not GREAT as I had gained from my week in Halifax prior to that, but at least I have not gained more.

Sadly, my dream of returning to school under 200 pounds is unlikely as I weigh 204.8 now, but it is still a goal I am aiming for.  It may be a week into school or so before I manage it, but I will try dilligently.

Mom was attacked by the cat again so told me to take it back to the Humane Society.  My friend, Judith, wants the cat and offered to take it long ago but for some reason Mom is resisting that.  She gets peculiar that way and I think it is dementia.  Anyway, I am taking it to Judith’s regardless.  The Humane Society has 330 cats up for adoption and it is kitten season.  I do not see this cat going anywhere fast, so if we can rehome it then so be it.  If it does not work out at Judith’s, then it can go back to the Humane Society.  In the end, it is not that nice a cat!  Even my last cat - who was partly feral- was nicer.  She would only allow so much petty before she smacked you, but you could see when it was escalating.  You cannot do that with Mom’s cat.  It just happens.  Anyway, today Mom’s cat drew blood in her hand and foot and as she does not want cat scratch fever AGAIN, she is taking care to wash it all out.

Hopefully she won’t change her mind this afternoon when I go to get it.  I know I sound really callous about this, but I am a cat and dog lover.  I just never thought an 81 year old should get a kitten in the first place.  A more sedate cat would have been better.  Mom wanted to ensure the cat would outlive her.  With indoor cats she could easily get a 7 year old and it would outlive her.   Anyway, I wanted it to be Mom’s decision.

Ok, I am rambling.  It is a lovely day and I have many an errand to run.  I need to get a new cell phone so that is on my agenda.  Mine is very old…VERY old and I do not believe it can support a blue tooth.  As I make many calls while I drive and the new law against hand held phones is coming into play, I figured it was time.

Have a great day!

Well the day after we got to CT I got a call that Mom was back in the hospital.  I called her after 10pm when we arrived in CT and she was fine but apparently at 2am she had trouble breathing.  In addition there was a strange infection in her leg which we suspected was due to a cat bite but she denied the cat was involved.  I was told not to come home for this and to stay in CT for the wedding.

I called every day and was told yesterday she had a ‘bug” in her blood.  Today we are told it is cat scratch fever and apparently the dr told her to get rid of the cat.  She was still waivering on that.  A couple she is friends with were visiting - he is a dr - and both of them also tried to talk her into getting rid of the cat.  She does not want to lose the companionship.  

As we got in late tonight I have not seen her.  When I spoke to her she did not say anything about the cat.  I will see what she says tomorrow.  Part of me wants to just say “you cannot take care of the cat so you cannot keep it”  and rehome it before she gets out of the hospital.  The other part of me doesn’t want to take her companionship away.  Personally, I think that cat will kill her one way or another.  Either she will eat the oxygen hose or she will give her another infection.  Mom did not even notice this infection (another alarming aspect of this) which proved to be the main aspect of her stay in hospital.

With all of that, and over eating, I fear getting on the scale tomorrow and checking in at WW on Saturday.  While in CT I did buy a pair of those shape up skecher shoes.  I had looked at them when IMB (sp) was the only company making them.  They were expensive then and I think these are cheaper.  I like the springy step and feel like Tigger (from Winnie the Pooh) when I walk.

Will keep you posted, blog buds.

Today I have to have my first colonoscopy.  This required a day of prep yesterday.  I was to drink 4 litres of this terrible stuff but after 2 I kept throwing it up so stopped.  Consequently I am not certain they will do it- we’ll see.  Aside from running to the bathroom constantly (I will not give any more information than that!), I weighed myself before bed and had GAINED 2 pounds.  My husband assured me it was water from what I was drinking.  He was correct as this morning I was back down the two pounds but I did not lose anything else!  Does that seem fair??? I would have hoped that for my suffering I would have lost at least a pound.  Even my husband told me I would lose one or two.  OK, I know they wouldn’t stay off, but still…

We are off to CT on Thursday so I won’t have my usual weigh in at WW on Sat morning.  At this rate, perhaps just as well??  It is so annoying when you are good and it doesn’t show at the scales.  Of course I did work out yesterday so perhaps I can claim muscle mass!!

Have a great day, blog buddies!

Well I had only gained 1.6 pounds and not the 5 I thought I had gained when I returned from vacation.  How could I make such a mistake??  Well, I don’t think it was a mistake.  I cut back drastically when I got home and saw the damage.  So, I am still 2.6 pounds ahead of where I was when I started WW.  Still, not a great showing for 6 plus weeks!  My goal is to be under 200 pounds when I return to work on August 21.  I am at 204.8 right now.  It is doable, but only with dedication - which I have not shown over the past couple of weeks.

Hurdles…I have a wedding in CT on Sunday (not tomorrow, next week).  We leave Aug 6 and return Aug 11.  I will be staying with my mother-in-law so do not have total control over my food -but some control.  Bonus, I actually got a killer dress for the wedding at Addition-Elle.  It is a bit dressy for a day wedding as it is black with some sparkles, but it is clingy enough to look good and show some curves.  Hubby thinks it is too dressy.  He is probably right, but what the hell.  I can be the totally inappropriate woman from Canada.  right?

While we were away the AC leaked and soaked the carpet.  Welcomed by a smell that I liken to cat urine (but we do not have a cat) was not great.  My “brother” fixed it for us yesterday and hopefully when we get back from CT it will be dry and not (or at least less) smelly.  I figured I would rent the steam carpet cleaner once I got back.  On the upside, you don’t notice it when you have been in it for a while, but I do awaken in the night to the scent.  Oh YAY!

Another dilemma, I saw a job posted to be a museum education manager.  Salary is comparable to what I make at work.  Not sure if I should apply.  Will take your insights into this.

I aim to be a good girl (or somewhat good) until I get back to work.  Cheer me on, ok??

Have a great day, blog buds!