Sometimes I think life is just an adventerous roller coaster. maybe I am wrong. I have been up and down emotional wise for the last few weeks.. hmmm

Got up this am weighed in at 150 WTH?? Oh well I got showered put on the running shoes and went running and felt like throwing the scale out the window but i didnt.. I had a coffee last night just an instant coffee with no sugar and fat free creamer and i had made some banana muffins and had one and a half they realyl wernt that bad so who know what through the good old scale up..My oldest came home from her last drivers ed last night and passed her exam with only three wrong so that was really good She had asked her drivers ed teacher if she could drop off the parellel parking poles today after her class as she was going to be like 2 min away the teacher said well get your mom to call me on my cell phone to make sure I am still there parking with the student and she can come and get them.. This is the teracher that stood my daughter up three times last week and i sat in a parking lot 3 times for over 30 min each time and she had forgot to show up for my daughters teaching all three times… frustrated I said to my daughter no I am not going to pick them up this lady cant drive them one min up the street when she is done I have a home based business I may have clients.. Then my daughter said well you dont have clients tommorrow so I dont see what the problem is… i was so frustrated….. I so feel like a failure sometimes …. it did take about 8 months to have a good clientele in nova scotia maybe even almost  a year and I have only been open 8 weeks here and I find some weeks I am so run off my feet and other weeks i may only have 50.00 for the week or like 5 hair cuts.. I am finding in this town the customer has no loyalties to their hairdresser because they will call me and be like can you fit me in within the next hour my reg hairdresser cant and by all means if I can I do but if I cant they dont want to wait to later on in the afternoon or evening when i can they just will go somewheres else. I guess I can onlydo so much as one person..

Another thing is I have always been a person that doesnt sleep well at night at all I am up and down with my bladder or with the dogs and it does get frustrating so If I can take an hour in the afternoon to nap I do because my body just wont make it till 10 or 11 pm without it.. I told me daughter that in the ams after i get them off to school I wont go and lay down for a quick nap because i always make sure the housework is started and then i make sure she has a hot lunch everyday as she comes home from school every day.. She said if you dont want me to come home as you might miss your nap I wont.. That was really hurtful I have never been in bed or having a nap ever when she has came home from school since sept when we moved here… never.. I think it was a little bit of a guilt tatic and it worked I feel horible Now I am wondering if I should go downtown to get these parking poles to practice with her this weekend but then I had said no and I cant keep going back on my word I always do that now if I decide to take her parellel parking for practice i am sure we can do it withougt the poles..

My youngest is so growing up so fast just it seems somedays is just flashing before my eyes life and time that is….

my youngest came home yesterday and did her homework had an afterschool snack than a friend froms chool had called to see if she would like to come over to play it was about 4:30pm I was like Hailee it is a school night and you have the rest of your homework and a shower she was like mom I can get it done when I get back how about I go and you pick me up at 6:30pm and i will come home and shower and do my spelling words.. and she did i was really impressed I usually dont let her do to much on a school night i find it so rushed

then this am she had wanted to bike to school.. OH MY!!! Major PANIC MODE>>>> I was making up every excuse in the book then my oldest said mom if you want I can bike her to school and then go to school myself .. the littles one her school is over 2kms away and I dont knwo if I am scared of the drivers or just scared to actually let go and realize the fact my kids are growing up… It really scares me because I put so much into my children and feel I will have nothing when they are gone…So my oldest called me to tell me that she made it to school ok from her cell phone which did help.

Then i get in my head that i am unsuccessful.. I just want a good paying job so I can get all this debt load vanished… But then looking at the real world there probably isnt alot of people that fall under that catagory…

I dont want to be a suplementary income. I want to be successful know whats coming in for income not sit here and wait for customers to call me.. I just dont know maybe I am havingf a bad day I sure love being a hairdresser and making people feel good about themselves but when you do it as a homebase business it is hard to know how much is coming in. If I was hairdressing out of the home before deductions i would only be making about 320 a week then minus taxes i would probably bring in 260.00 a week and then gas to get  there etc.

well thats enough ranting and raving  I do feel better venting abit it can only get better right???

Have a great day

canadagirl(Shelly)

Was getting discouraged with the damn scale.. Have been keeping up with the walk/running thirty min every other day. I think if I am not too sore on my days off I may just walk the same route that I walk run at least it is some sort of activity.. Just started TOM on the weekend so not sure if it is accurate weight or not I was back down to 147.2 before I started TOm and this am i was 148.9 but I havent been doing anything wrong or taking alot of BLT (bites,licks,or tastes) So I should be ok.

I did break down and get myself a pair of new running shoes they were reg 140.00 for 99.99 I have NEVER had a pair of shoes that cost that much ever in my life but my oldest always gets one pair of year whether it is nikes or these skater shoes man what is wrong with this pic…lol

I did do 10 pages of scrapbooking this week man I am beggining to use alot of the stickers I have been accumulating over the last couple years I may have to find a nice place out west here and invest  in some more I was like a scrapbook collector for awhile but not a scrapbook doer..lol I did subscribe to smilebox for a year that was at least i can make little albums to send back home to family via computer it was 40.00 for the year.

Ok what has happened this weekend hmmm. I know this am trying to get dd to the bus stop and we have misplaced her jacket she just had it on sunday then there was no school monday but she did go to a friends house I will have to get her to back track when she gets home.

Saturday my youngest went to build  a bear to spend all the gift cards that she has gotten for her birthday she ended up with some clothes and 2 build a bears WOW thats alot of cash…. So she got one build a bear for her birthday 2 build a bears with her cash her dad had bought her 2 build a bears and she got one when we moved across canada and one when she had her tonsils outman oh man… I would have loved to have stuff like that when I was growing up We were told to go and play outside and amuse ourselves . i cant beleive at times we still hear mommy we are bored….:(

Saturday night I took the kids to see the Hannah Montana movie we had to wait in line for over 25 min you wouldnt think that it would take that long it has been on for over a week. I had a gift cert i had bought for an inlaw at Christmas that I didnt end up giving it so I took the girls and only had to pay 11.25 for the youngest so I guess that is a good night out.

Sunday we had an icecream social with girl guides the kids had a good time.. It was 7.00 a person to get in but if you volenteered for 2 hours of it than you were free so we volenteered…Then the coat went missing..lol she said she brought it home and hung it on the back of the chair and now its gone.. I told her maybe she should hang it up and also line up her shoes and then she would always know where it is….

This am was a bit of a rat race kids were fighting at 7 am come on just get ready for school already…….

my youngest had worn summer pants and had long johns on as it is only zero here today and is suppose to get up to plus 10 which is um 54degrees i think so I told her if she was too hot just peel them off..

Well her sister told her that she would be made fun of at gym class if she had long johns on…so let the fireworks began then i had told my youngest to go and play on the puter for a few min while i was getting ready and she came upstairs and either told her sister to get off the computer as she was on facebook or to please get off the computer i am not sure anyhow her sister got snotty and said nice to see how i am treated around here got off the computer and stormed to her room hello unaccepted behavior she has to think she is going to be 18 in oct and gets so angry because i dont decipline them both the same one is 10 one is 17 if she wants to sit with her nose in the corner or i will decipline them both the same

The oldest applied for a couple of jobs yesterday as she wants more spending money and I told her with not knowing what is coming in in the shop some days I can make 120.00 others I go three days with no calls you just dont know what is coming in.. I cant be her personal bank machine. so she is now second guessing herself about being able to hold down a job and still maintain her 90 average… she has not got the job yet and she is still worried ohhh my!!! Today is her final drivers ed test and she is done the course I am still going to make her wait a couple of months for her road test and then we will see what happens all she keeps telling me is she wants freedom…. i would love to pay off my debt but I dont have a money tree…

anyway off to read the rest of your blogs and comment have a great day

Shelly

A little shocked but I am still pushing myself i really feel like I am accomplishing something.. Weigh in was still 149 I guess I am not going to loose it overnight

I think I may have to charge a pair of sneakers on my visa in the near future or put so much away from each paycheck because my legs are really sore and myshins and hips I know they will be for trying a new exercise but the thing is my sneakers are probably 4 or 5 years old..

Yesterday I had a few haircuts in the am and made beef stroganoff and noodles and salad for supper, watched BL and then read my book and lights out by 10pm i know man am I lame.

Had a bit of a hard evening last night my oldest I think is just finding life hard and think the world owes her everything and is frustrated.. I made as well be honest ever since i had gotten divorced when my oldest was 8 and my youngest was a newborn i have always given my children everything they wanted and everything they needed I was trying to compete with their father that always tried to out buy me or try and make himself look better..I got in a great deal of credit card debt and am still trying to get my way out of it.

My youngest wanted 2 books from the book order that came home a couple of days ago and I always say yes and just write a check using the overdraft and that is that. then a light bulb came on last night I was like wait a sec. what am i teaching these children I have one daughter that will be 18 in oct and the other just turned 10 and when it comes to occasions i can never think of anything to buy them they have everything .and they really dont lack alot.. i have never been one to buy them all brand new clothes I have usually shopped used when i could but out west here they dont have alot compared to out east but I tend to go to walmart etc when they need something.

I bought them Jonas brothers tickets for the summer they each had 50.00 each so they were able to contribute 100.00 but the tickets were 350.00 for the three of us to go. Then this weekend they want to go to the opening of hannah montana movie which would be roughly 40.00 plus gas to get there. I said no to my youngest about the books and it was like someone had shot her in the foot. she cried and she cried.. I talked to her this am before she headed off to school and I tried to explain to her what is mommy teaching you if I hand you everything that you want when you wanted and charge it on my credit card or use my overdraft to pay for it(she doesnt know what overdraft means but….) I am showing you that you get everything that you want and that mommy is made of money she did agree but man oh man…

Tonight is girl guides.. from 6-9 and my oldest has to babysit from 9-10:30pm and thenI have a kids cut tommorrow am at 9 and then another at 10 am and then ful foils and a cut booked in for 6pm the lady said her hair was down to her bum so I dont even know how much is a good price to charge her HOLLY HELP!!!! Should I just increase the price for how many tubes of color i use ??

Well I have babbled and whined enough thank you so much for listening to me you guys are great any guidance would be awesome

Have a great day

Well last night I really ached I didnt get any scrapbooking done it seems when it comes to doing to much of anything for ourselves I am all talk but I do do lots for others I sort of just put myself On the back burner. Last night about 7 after doing the dishes I thought hmm maybe I should go running again I am sore I have been taking ib brofin every 5 hours as I needed it . I have to roll out fo bed but  I have Linda T in my head saying suck it up princess keep going!!! So I got on my running shoes and did another 3kms last night with walking one min  and running two min I will have to say if I keep doing this I will have to save some money for a better pair of shoes…

Got on the scale this am was up .2 or something like that but I think it might be just water retension

cause I KNOW I havent done anything wrong. Done my morning customers just off to get some lettuce for supper and going to make some turkey meatballs..

Dont have any huge plans for this evening maybe just running again I was in bed yesterday by 9pm the running girls had called but I must slept right through the phone.. ooops I must appologize I just find after going all day I am ready for bed come 9pm I know lame for 35 years old..lol

have a great day

I had one of the ladies from my street that has joined a running club to prepare her body for a 5k race in june . Like a running marathon I guess you would say. She asked me last night if I would like to start training with them. So off I went last night with her and a couple other girls and did some running. It was cold(-21) and icy/slushy and I soooo ache this am .. But on the brighter side I rain 3kms. They are just starting out and they are running for one min walking for 2 min. and we did this for 45 min. I have never felt such burning in my chest ever with any exercise that I ever do. I really and truly ache but feel proud of what I did. They usualy go everynight between 9pm and 10 pm but I do find that a little late cause I usually try to be in bed by 10pm.  I thought well maybe I could take my daughter out and we could do this earlier after supper but then on the other hand it is probably a good idea for me to have interaction with people as I have bene in this province for 9 months yesterday and have really just stayed to myself.. So I am torn do I try to do this on my own or do I suck it up and be tired have interaction with others and do it with the few girls from my street..

Weekend hmmmm…

The girls are back to school today after their spring break,

I weighed in this am at 149.

Not sure if I am starting to run if I should do it every day or every other day cause I have never done it before.

DD#2 Had a lseep over on sat night and the poor little girl was asleep by 6:30 pm as she had been up so late the night before so dd watched the movie and ate the chips on her own but said she had a good time..lol

Girls from down the road asked me to go out for drinks and appitizers on sat night and they were going out about 8pm I pushed myself to go cause it is probably important that i am social and that I have interaction with others to get me out of the sad /depressed mode.

We ended up going to Boston Pizza I had never been there before I had a mudslide and a strawberry daq. and a 4′ veggie pizza. (for supper)

Yesterday I cleaned up and got the children prepped to go back to school this am. Worked on kitchen creation badge with my yougest and then felt guilty about leaving the rug rats to go running. Got home about 10pm watched tv till 10:30 read until 11:!5 and then dragged my bum out of bed at 7:30 am… ughhhh

I was up a couple times last night someone fed one of my dogs a few too many carrots and she had an upset belly.

Todays plans is to do up my banking and maybe scrapbook I always say I am going to do it going to do it and just havent I need to check on the water situation in the basement yesterday it was just damp but all this snow still has to thaw. I have no customers booked in today yet but I start my day tommorrow at 9 am

I think that sums my last few days up

Have a great day chicks