Been a baaaaaaaad couple of days food and workout wise. 
Also found out that our 20 year old DS owes the government money. So we will have to pay it for him so he doesn’t get in trouble with IRS. sigh shi-!!!! This taps in to the Christmas money for the kids!! At least I have a solution though. I am going to take my gold to a person in a kiosk at the mall who buys it and maybe I can get enough to buy some gifts for the young ones at least. see there is a bright side to all of this. 
Then come to find out that 17 year old DS is in it at school again and has a loooooong weekend!!! By force if you know what I mean. Can I scream now?????? Can I cry???
So between the two I think instead of mowing the 3 acres of leaves I think there will be some raking instead!!!!! I also think the cars need detailed, the shoes cleaned and polished, and some gutters that need cleaned!!!!! There I feel better ! ;) Oh and I don’t want to hear about child labor laws my one DS is 20 and the other is 17 and suspended AGAIN!!!!! 
Then on top of everything some little jerk thief at my 10 years old DS school took his coat, hat, and gloves!!!!! My baby came home in 45 degree weather with no coat!! ARGH!!! So we went out and bought one at WalMart. sigh this week so sucks! 
Well did I cheer your day up? LOL
Bright side??? My 10 year old DS brought his 1st report card home and he did wonderful!!!!!!!! I am so proud of him!
Toodles!
Posted on November 7th, 2009 by Joy
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Weight: too ashamed to post
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:
Snack:
Workout:
Come hell or high water I am starting today. Again. My past is my past. What I do now is what matters.
Toodles!
Posted on November 5th, 2009 by Joy
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I got the most amazing e-mail a few days ago from an old pen pal of mine. We started to write well over a decade ago. Her stomping grounds were in Canada and mine in the Ohio. Back then it was pen and paper. On the outside we did not have a ton in common. I was a stay at home mom she worked for the government. I lived in the big city she in a quaint small town. However we both had a love of reading, art, music, and love of life and of God that well matched each other. Well I got a e-mail a few days ago asking if I was this “same Joy” that she wrote years ago and lost touch with. What a wonderful surprise to re-connect after about 5 years of losing touch. 
My 10 year old DS is getting his first report card from a building school (ever) and I peeked on the computer to see how he did. I am so proud and happy he got all A’s and B’s and one C in gym. I am so proud of the hard work he has done. PROUD MOMMY moment here! hehehe
I have had some epiphanies as of late about me but have really done nothing about them. I know what I have to do AKA EAT LESS, MOVE MORE! Now I really need to apply it.
Have a great day!
Toodles!
Posted on November 4th, 2009 by Joy
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Brrrrrrrrrr!!!! It is one chilly morning out here in the middle of no-where! Heavy robe and slipper weather!
I had such a wonderful birthday yesterday! DH got me the coolest cookbook by one of my FAVORITE cooks on Food Network. Nigella Lawson. He bought me the newest one.
Man alive she can cook!! It has a few healthy recipes in it but not many! LOL
He is such the romantic as well! DH remembered the perfume that I wore when we first dated. It is called Chantilly. He actually bought me a bottle of that based on that memory! I almost cried it was so sweet.
This is Chantilly.
My adorable 10 year old DS saved up his money and bought me the most adorable nail polish . It is clear with pink glitter and hearts. Pretty sure he chose it for the skull and crossbones! 
My 3 year old DS gave me the biggest hug and sang “happy, happy, happy, mama” hearing real words out of him expressed with such love (I am crying again) I will ALWAYS remember this birthday!!!!
A HUGE surprise that I got this morning is on my facebook I got a message from a long lost pen pal from Canada! Now we are back in touch.
Today is a new day and back to the grindstone of life but with a HUGE change. A change IN me. With my mom possibly being real sick I have had to take a real long hard look at my life, attitude, health habits, etc….. Now for now I just cannot have a relationship with my mom for the sake of my children. I just cant risk exposing them to a woman who might abuse them. Her ability at psychological warfare can be used by our government for war. It took me years to heal from what I went through I just cant risk my kids. If she gets very ill I will look at it again and maybe reevaluate.
But with my dad dying so young, and now my mom possibly being ill it kind of scared me awake. I treat myself like shi-!!! I always have. It is because i believe deep down inside I feel like I dont deserve anything good. warped??? Oh yeah. But at least I am figuring it out. Now to try and move past all of this. My DH said to me the other day. “What in the hell happened to you that would make you think so low of yourself” He is right. Whenever anything good happens to me i then wait for the other shoe to drop. ALWAYS. I have this warped sense of if it is good i will get punished for it eventually and if it is bad I deserve it. wow when i put it down it sounds nuts!!! I am really pretty sane. I think this way only about me. Maybe my DH is right I deserve to have love, happiness, joy, peace without guilt. I need to find it. then maybe everything else will fall into place.
Toodles!
Posted on November 3rd, 2009 by Joy
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Hello and good morning. I hope that you all had a wonderful weekend. I had so much fun trick or treating with my two youngest.
I got an e-mail from my DSis today. My family relations on my side of the family are very strained. VERY dysfunctional is putting it mildly! My re-newed speaking with my sister is fresh, tentative, etc…. My siblings are VERY VERY VERY enabling to my DM in her mental illness and abusive nature. Something I had to walk away from for the sake of my children and marriage. However my mom made them choose between her (and her millions) and me. I found myself without a family for years. I am sure my sister is keeping her re-newed sisterhood with me a secret (I don’t really care) But I have not see my mom in over 3 1/2 years. Now i hear she might be ill. Real ill, Cancer ill. My mother does not believe in doctors and will never go to one. However she has lost over 40 pounds in 4 months, cant eat most things anymore, and cannot use salt at all anymore. a BIG HUGE deal for a woman who always like a side of food with her salt!!!! She wont speak to me, hell she has never even seen my youngest DS because she hates me so much. I am not sure what to do. DH wants nothing to do with her. Yeah it is that bad. Remember the mother and grandmother from the book “Flowers in the Attic” THAT is my mom! I love her and always will but I just don’t know what to do. Or maybe it is not my choice if she hates me that much . A lot to think about.
Oh yeah I turned 43 today.. sigh so old!!!!!
blah
GOOD note: Going to be sunny today, going to take a walk after Ds therapy, and DH is taking me out to lunch for b-day. :) My 10 year old DS is sooooo cute and wanted to play hooky to spend day with me on my b-day. He has to go to school but that was such a sweet try. LOLOLOL
Toodles!
Posted on November 2nd, 2009 by Joy
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Thanks ladies! You are all so awesome!!!! I love most of the advice. I think we will take most of it and apply it somehow to our home. I am really looking forward to taking the paint a tad warmer in the house and putting flower boxes in front. I LOVE the grass shade idea on the front porch as well! The ONLY one we cannot do is the border in the kitchen. You see the previous owners have 4 layers of border under all of that. They did not just use paste they used glue!! We were actually damaging the walls to get it off. So we went out and got the most neutral border we could find to cover the hideous border that was showing. Hopefully it wont be a make or break thing for us to sell. Again, You are all awesome!
We took boys trick or treating last night and it was so much fun!!! I of course got all of the eye candy (old victorian homes) and they kids got all of the real candy!! LOL
Well off to shower and then get kids up and off to church. have a wonderful day!!!!!
Toodles!
Posted on November 1st, 2009 by Joy
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That is the question. We have to make our decision by next Monday. I dont know with the holidays coming up I dont really want to have to keep the house staged. I am not even sure I have it staged well now. Can I get some opinions from all of you if you dont mind. I have some photo’s from the realtor. It shows all but the bathrooms, the office , and smallest bedroom. Oh and it doesnt show the upstairs 10×8 storage room.
The front of our house .( Should I plant a large container of flowers on either side of stairs??)
The back of where the front house (1850’s) is connected to the back house( late 1800’s)
Kitchen (what would you think if we replaced light with high end ceiling fan)??
Front porch (should we put lace curtains on windows? (to hide age , they are about 75 years old)
Family room/dining room (we put in a fireplace where armoire is) (also thinking of putting in Tiffany style light over table)?????
Master is about 20 long by 15 wide not sure what else to do. Should we use other types of linens. (we put in sage green curtains that tie back to give some color to the room.
A extra room that we use as a tv room for the kids.
The boring laundry room
back porch
One of two barns. You can see just in the door of the barn is the wall (with floor to ceiling windows /no glass) off of a old one room early 1800’s schoolhouse from the area. A farmer got it (in 1940’s) before they tore the school down.
other barn
back 2 acres
Soooooo I need help from you ladies. I am at a loss as to what else I can so to stage the house. Should we keep it up during the holidays? OR should we wait until spring and relist it then and do more work in the meantime. Is there ANYthing that can be doen to make it look nicer???? Help please???????I am not looking for you gals to make our decision just some opinions.
I did okay on eating yesterday. I went over in points a little however all in all ate real healthy and drank a ton of water. :) No workout though.
Toodles!
PS Trick or treating tonight! Looooooong walk! woohoo! Means calories burned!! yaaaaaaay
Posted on October 31st, 2009 by Joy
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Good morning! 
Patty thank you so much for thinking of me in this award. I would like to thank………. Kidding haha! It helps with the crappy week! Yes it is one of those weeks! Everyone has them so you all understand. 
Thermostat went on the van ,getting it fixed today. Ran over a bolt in van got it plugged but then noticed bologna tires sigh! getting them replaced next week. DH informed me his tires are worse. double sigh sigh!!!! Will have to replace them next month as SUV tires cost an arm and a leg. sigh I am sure glad that we started our Christmas shopping early so if crap like this came up we would be prepared. BRIGHT side? We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food on the table, and pretty good health, and DH has a good job. There now I feel better.
Have to put up with the sunshine, cheerfulness of my lovely 17 year old DS who got a one day suspension for Friday. Yaaay me! They put it off one day for him so he can do his vocational eval. (really nice of them considering) Then he has the royal nerve to get mad at me for grounding him this weekend (Halloween party) SORRY bud but YOU got suspended!!!!! But somehow I am a “bitc-, a loser, I am not his real mom……………and he hates me”. 
How many days till he turns 18?????????? will I make it???????
Toodles!
Oh no I don’t I have got to end this on a good note. My 10 year old DS went to his first school party (Halloween) he had so much fun. It just squished my heart to see that smile and that light in his eyes. There now I can say
Toodles
Posted on October 29th, 2009 by Joy
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What a witty title eh?
Patty yes I am ready! I am more than ready! I am sick of being on this fork in the road. Like you so well put “it is time to take the road less traveled.” I get to go grocery shopping tomorrow. YaaaaY! That means a REAL fresh start in the fridge and in the pantry. I am going to try that flank steak recipe patty it looks really good!
Today I will do the best I can with a semi empty fridge and pantry and then Wednesday it is back in the game for me! I refuse to give up, I refuse to leave here because if I leave here or just give up altogether ALL will be lost and it will be almost impossible to ever get it back.
Thanks for the pep talk ladies , as well as the patience, the support, and the NON judgment!
Toodles!
Posted on October 27th, 2009 by Joy
Filed under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
