Wednesday

Well yesterdays eye doctor appointment has sunk in and frankly I am scared sh–less!  I am in my 40’s have 20/20 vision in one eye. I am legally blind in the other eye and in that same eye have glaucoma. The doctor triple checked because it is so unusual. It is directly connected to my type 2 diabetes, It is a direct result of my not taking care of myself. I was ALMOST at my goal weight. I had 15 more pounds to go!!!! Then I threw it all away! I stopped eating well, I stopped working out, I stopped my medication (diabetes), I even stopped going to all of my doctors appointments (OBGYN, Mammo, diabetes, eye, dentist).  In my head I think I just gave up on myself. What the HE– have I done???  I am awake now but is it too late??

Things are going to change. NOW! I have been eating healthy as well as eating healthy appropriate portions. Eye doctor was step 1.

step 2 diabetes doctor next month

step 3 dentist June

step 4 OBGYN   August

step 5 mammo September

frankly the mammo and OBGYN scare the heck out of me. I have a real extreme phobia of #1 germs  #2 cancer #3 death (yes even though I am a Christian) So I always put them off. Stupid yes I know.

There I put it in writing. Now I am committed.

I am down 1 pound to 209. I am thankful for that. I just need to take my life day by day and moment by moment if needed.

I plan on coming back here more often just to get my thoughts out. I may be blunt, a little self deprecating, but I am pretty brutal in my honesty in looking at myself. I hope that this helps me get back on track healthwise.

Toodles!

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