It’s all up to me

I’m happy to report the reason I haven’t been here for a while isn’t b/c I fell off the wagon but I wish that was the reason

Kyle was admitted to the hospital a week ago today and we weren’t discharged until yesterday.  Started w/continued pneumonia and dehydration.  They figured he’d be in overnight to get IV fluids but then his bloodwork came back out of whack.  Even though he was rehydrated his sodium levels were climbing.  Turns out one of his meds makes his body pee out all of his free water and hang onto the sodium.  They eventually got that figured out but they had to make sure to reduce it gradually b/c if it went down too quickly it could cause his brain to swell.  Then, once they got his sodium levels in the right range his potassium levels dropped.  During that same time he started spiking a temp, getting up to 104.4 at one point.  We’re assuming the fever was due to a virus b/c all other reasons were ruled out. 

We’re slowly getting back to the regular routine but after being out of school for nearly a week I’m staying late so workouts aren’t even a thought.  My shoulder is also still bugging me so I’m going to physical therapy 2x weekly and food is turning into whatever is still in the house.  Hopefully the weekend will be quiet and we’ll be able to get groceries, relax a bit and feel recharged for the following week.

I don’t think my shoulder is getting any better.  Well, I can lift it over my head now but I still can’t lift it to the side and now it’s constantly hurting instead of only every once in a while.  I don’t know if I’m doing the PT exercises wrong or if it’s just not working but I’m getting frustrated.  I go back on Monday and I’m going to keep doing the exercises for now but if the pain increases I’m going to stop and call him.

I’m also worrying b/c Kyle had his 2nd bout of pneumonia in 3 weeks and he’s not bouncing back very well.  Normally after about 2 days on antibiotics he’s smiling and I still have barely seen a smile and he got sick on Thursday.  Our older son also had pneumonia in there (germs, germs, everywhere) but he’s over it.  I know it takes a while to get over pneumonia so I’m probably just being impatient but I’d hate to think this is a preview of what the winter will be like.

Because of the shoulder pain I’m focusing mostly in cardio.  The weather is absolutely perfect around here (75 and sunny) so we took the dog on an extra long walk.  I know in a couple of weeks I won’t want to be outside too much.  I’m keeping up w/my calorie counting and have an extra motivation b/c some girlfriends and I are making plans to do early Christmas shopping mid-November.  These are the friends who range from a size 0 to probably a 6 and all have had at least 2 kids.  If they weren’t such fabulous women I’d absolutely hate them

Last week got crazy busy and I haven’t been on to update.  Here’s a quick recap.

Went to physical therapy and he’s not convinced it’s my rotator cuff, he thinks it could be a deranged shoulder.  Deranged???  In my line of work deranged means crazy.  He quickly explained that it just meant it’s out of range so I have these weird exercises to do every 2 hours.    I’m doing my best to try to remember to do them w/the hope that I’ll be back to regular lifting soon.

Since I’m out of my workout routine I decided to get something new.  For 5 seconds I entertained the thought of buying a treadclimber b/c I LOVED it when I went to the gym.  But buying a $2500 piece of equipment is definitely not in the budget, so I settled for a $20 Cathe Friederich DVD.  I have read a lot of reviews about her and people tend to like her so hopefully it will come soon.

Food hasn’t been great but it hasn’t been awful, either.  Last weekend was homecoming, our anniversary and 2 meals eaten out.  I decided to loosen the reigns and was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t dive head first into grease and fat.  Friday for lunch we went out between school and the homecoming parade and had Pad Thai.  That night for supper all I wanted was a bowl of cereal.  Saturday night we had mahi mahi which was healthy, balanced out w/the baked potato (with butter AND sour cream) and cannolli for dessert. 

This week I’m trying something new, at least for me.  I am recording what I eat with calories.  I know, not rocket science, but more detail than I normally go into.  Since I tend to eat the same food on a daily basis up until suppertime I typed out food and calories for everything and just copied it multiple times.  I then will add in what I eat for supper.  Even if I only do this for a few weeks it should get the scale moving in the right direction.

And speaking of the scale, my short-term goal is to end 2011 simply being overweight which means I need to crack 185.  Yesterday I topped the scales at 202 (so long, onederland) so that’s 17 pounds in 3 months–doable.  I am going to collect 17 little rocks and put them in my bowl like I did to get out of the 200’s.  I need to think of a reward that I truly want and won’t buy for myself w/o earning it.  I’m cheap and have a problem w/delayed gratification so I need to put some thought into this.

Hope everyone has a great week

I’m in a funk and I don’t like it.  Mostly it’s b/c I’m actually following my plan but I’m not losing anything.  My guess is that I’m overdoing my free day and it takes all week to undo the damage but I don’t think I’m doing anything different than I have in the past when I have lost a pound or 2 a week.  For now, I’m going to continue for the week and see if it was just super-duper PMS where I was retaining water.  If things don’t improve I’m going to go back to measuring my foods to make sure my portions aren’t getting out of control.  If that doesn’t work I might go back to frozen meals for a while to have built in portion control.

I am proud, though, that I haven’t thrown in the towel in frustration.  My workouts have continued and I’m following my food plan.  I guess that’s one perk to eating nearly the same thing day after day.  Eating has become automatic.

I go to physical therapy on Friday so I’m anxious to see what they have to say.  I know I need to take it easy on my shoulder but I don’t like having to modify my workouts.  Gee, control issues anyone??  I’m going to follow their recommendations to the letter b/c I hope in January that Ferrell’s will have a 3:30 class so I can rejoin and I know if my rotator cuff is still bothering me that it won’t be an option.

The doctor said that I’m probably pinching a nerve near my rotator cuff.  He’s going to send me to physical therapy one time to learn exercises and then I can do them on my own.  My appt is a week from tomorrow and until then he’s not restricting me from exercise but said if it hurts to avoid it.  Whew, I was worried.

I’m feeling really fat and fluffy today and I don’t like it.  I just started TOM so I’m sure that has something to do with it but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m grouchy.  Plus, my 8 year-old is being a complete turd and I’m in no mood to deal with it.

Otherwise life is good.  The game is really helping me to focus on healthy eating and my workouts are going well.  I am worried a bit, though, b/c I hurt my shoulder a couple of weeks ago and it’s still bothering me.  I truly have no idea how I hurt it, there was just discomfort one morning when I woke up.  I honestly thought I just slept wrong but the feeling never went away.  Stupidly I haven’t stopped lifting and after doing an upper-body workout last night it has been hurting more.  Not a sore-muscle kind of hurt but a chronic, annoying kind of hurt.  Amazingly I was able to get into an orthopedic doctor tomorrow afternoon so I should know something more by then.  I fear that he’ll tell me to lay off the lifting which I know is logical but it works and I don’t want to slide backwards.  But I’m smart enough to know that if I’m not careful I could do some real damage which is why I called the doctor.  I’ll let you know how it works out.

The one major downside of giving myself a bit of food freedom on Sunday is that Monday is a booger.  All day I have been having to detox my system from the chocolate and sugar.  On top of it I’m PMSing something fierce so the chocolate cravings are even more intense.   We had some leftover chocolate pie in the fridge and part of me thought “one bite won’t hurt anything” but “one bite” is what got me to almost 300 pounds.  I have worked too hard for too long to go back that way.  Plus, I’d have to deduct points from our game and I want to have a good week.

Did a tough workout tonight and I’m proud of that.  I didn’t really feel like doing anything but I had a good chunk of time so I did the 60 minute Turbo Fire DVD.  I know my cardio time will be more limited on Wednesday so I wanted to do something more intense tonight.  I love these workouts b/c I always feel them in my abs the next day.

Today ends the 1st week of our Game On diet and I’m happy to say it was a success!  I made my 20% bonus for losing 1% of my body weight and the only points I lost for the week were having  an extra snack Thursday night.  I haven’t tallied my points but I’m hoping the rest of my teammates did well so we can kick the other team’s butt.  My official weigh-in for the week was 197.6.  I’m going to make sure to record it here so I don’t forget by next week.  To earn my 20% bonus for next week I’ll need to be at 195.7 or lower.  I can do it!

Otherwise life is good.  I’m still struggling w/ being tired a lot but I think that’s just going to have to be something I get used to until I start sleeping well again.  For some reason the last 2 weeks or so I have been waking up a lot at night so I’m sure the quality of my sleep has been compromised.  I generally get right back to sleep but I know I’m not sleeping as deeply as I generally do.

The week ahead will be busy but that means the weekend should come quickly.  Kyle has an appt at the ENT doctor to have his tubes checked from surgery.  My hubby’s school has homecoming this week so he’ll be busy w/activities in the evening and a coworker’s mom died on Friday so I know there will be a wake out of town one of these evenings.  But even w/the busy times coming I will plan ahead to make time for eating right and exercise.  We have conferences at the end of October and my goal is to be fitting into the size 12 pants I have hanging in my closet in my “skinny” section.  I’m feeling comfortable in my 14’s so I know that’s a reasonable goal.

I was exhausted after school today but ran errands like I normally do on a Friday.  All day I had been craving donuts and the craving wasn’t gone when I was at the store.  I hit 3 stores and after finishing up at the first one I realized that a) I was too tired to go onto store 2 and 3 and b) if I went I would be very likely to cave and eat something sugary for energy.  Because of that I came home and I’ll finish my shopping tomorrow or Sunday.  Now normally after I celebrate a smart choice like that I later eat something unhealthy (don’t ask me why) but tonight I vow to continue to make good choices.  Didn’t feel like making anything for supper so I ate 2 apples w/loads of peanut butter.  Probably higher in calories than a regular supper but it was what I wanted and it will keep me full.  Then, all I have to do is make it through tomorrow and I’ll have a looser day on Sunday.  It will also mark the end of our 1st week of the Game On Diet and I really want to earn my bonus points for losing 1% of my total weight.  I was 199.8 last Sunday so if I’m lower than 198 I’ll consider it good.  I toyed w/the idea of using my Monday weight to calculate my percentage (204.2, no joke!  We had lasagne and garlic bread on Sunday and I retained a tiny bit of water) but knew it would be cheating.

Will check-in with everyone tomorrow, I’m too tired to do it tonight.

If anyone is looking for an inexpensive, good workout system pick up the Supreme 90 Day set.  It’s about $20 and I have seen it at Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc.  I bought it online awhile ago and paid about $45 but have only now started using it.  It’s similar to P90X as far as each workout targets an area but lots of the moves incorporate a stablility ball so it works the core.  I have done some of the cardio workouts in the past and will probably do them again but for right now I’m only using the weight DVDs.

I also ordered the 1st month of the Cathe Friederich STS series and I can’t wait to check it out.  I got a deal on a used one for $47, to buy it through the website it’s about $125.  I’m not going to do it for awhile b/c I want to keep doing Supreme 90Day but I like that I’ll have some variety.

Our game at school is going very well.  Everyone is talking about making healthier choices and being really supportive of each other.  I can’t wait to see what our results will be on Monday.