It’s all up to me

Woke up this morning to some light fog.  Called the number to see if school was delayed and it wasn’t so I got ready.  I was pulling out my clothes to get dressed and my hubby said we had a 2-hour delay.  Yippee!!  I threw in a couple of loads of laundry, baked the cupcakes for my son to take to school tomorrow and whipped up a batch of rice-krispee treats for his b-day dinner tomorrow night.  Again, I was pulling out my clothes to get dressed and the phone rang–3 hour delay!!!  This has never happened before.  My son’s elementary school won’t start until noon and I didn’t have to be to school until 10!  I decided to go to school around 9:00 and get some work done so I packed Justin up to go to grandma’s and found out we cancelled :(  I got grouchy for a minute but then realized that I was going to have to make up the day whether or not I enjoyed this one so I decided to make the best of it.  I got my errands run for the party this weekend and went through spring clothes to see what the boys will need.  Plus, I found a ton of cute tops and skirts that I bought on clearance last fall so I don’t need to buy anything!  Several don’t quite fit yet (I was about 215 last fall and I’m 235 now) but that’s what I call motivation!

Speaking of motivation, I think I need to stop watching TBL.  Every week after they show the transformation I get all fired up and want to start running to look as good as they do.  I was considering getting up 45 minutes early every morning to fit in more cardio and realized how stupid that was.  I barely pull myself out of bed at 5 as it is and plus, my hair looks better when I shower the night before so morning workouts are out.  What I can do, though, is add in some extra cardio after the boys go to bed at night.  Both boys are generally in bed by 8:45, so I can get in 30 minutes on the treadmill, hit the shower and still be in bed by around 9:30.  I’m going to dig out my C25K sheets and give it a whirl.  Since it’s only 3 days extra each week I figure I can do it MWF nights and Friday night doesn’t count b/c I don’t have to get up at 5:00 the next morning.  Sadly, my hubby and I are losers w/no social lives so an extra workout on a Friday night isn’t a big deal

Today was technically a rest day but since we didn’t have school I hit 60 minutes on the elliptical.  It has been a while since I have been on it and it’s amazing how quickly you lose endurance.  The P90X workouts are pretty intense so I would have thought that I’d be ok but I had to take the intensity down a notch.  But hey, at least I did something, right?

Not much to report today.  School was good, did the Kempo X kickboxing workout and got good and sweaty.  I think I’m going to be sore tomorrow from the lower body workout I did yesterday b/c I upped the weights that I used from last week.  My calves are really tight right now so I’m stretching them as much as I can but it’s a “good” sore.

Goal for tonight is to only eat what I have planned.  Last night I baked banana bread which was obviously not a good idea.  My son has been wanting it forever and we had 3 brown bananas so I whipped up a loaf.  It was good but not fabulous so now I’m ok w/it sitting on the counter.  I rarely bake anymore and it’s fairly healthy compared to other baked goods so it was worth it for a special treat for Justin during the week.  It’s like he thinks it’s against the law to bake during the week

I’m nervous reporting this victory b/c it generally sets me up for a bad food choice, but I turned away from pie today TWICE!!!  I love pie almost more than I love my kids so this is a huge accomplishment.  The first time kind of doesn’t count–here’s why.  My hubby defrosted a pie yesterday and we both had a piece.  I was thinking this morning as I was packing my lunch about whether or not I’d have a piece tonight.  As I grabbed the pie to grab a container hidden behind it I lost my grip and it fell onto the floor.  Woohoo, problem solved!!  And not only do I not have to worry about eating the pie, my hubby can’t eat it either

The second victory belongs entirely to me!  A woman at school visited her parents over the weekend and her mother makes fabulous pies.  She brought one back with her and brought it to school to share.  We ate lunch in her office and I declined a piece.  Fortunately she’s not a food pusher so my will wasn’t tested but I’m happy to say that I politely said “no thanks” and that was it.

Part of my new resolve is that we received a “save the date” card for my cousin’s wedding in August.  I would love to be below 200 at that point which means I need to lose about 35 pounds in 5 months.  Definitely doable but I need to get my butt in gear.

Tonight’s workout was legs/back w/P90X.  I wasn’t able to do the AbRipperX b/c my hubby had to stay after school to help a kid change a tire and he wouldn’t be home in time to let our nurse go.  Oh darn, didn’t have to do the terrible ab routine!!  But we are planning to take a walk after supper b/c spring has kind of arrived!  It’s about 60 degrees and sunny here which is so exciting.  I made a few calls to landscapers to get estimates for our lawn/mudpatch.  I would love to do the work myself but being realistic I think we’re going to have to hire the rockwork and we’ll take care of the plants.  My hubby is 41 and not getting any younger and shoveling tons and tons of rock probably isn’t the best thing for his back.  Oh well, it’s only money, right????

I’m in the 2nd week of P90X and I’m already seeing some progress.  My hips have pulled in a bit (yay, my problem area) and my strength has improved.  During the weight routines there are log sheets where you record the weight you lifted and the number of reps and I was able to increase several of them today.  The workout for today was shoulders and arms and I still love it.  I can feel it in my shoulders that I pushed it harder than last week but just a “Ooh, I worked out” instead of a “OMG I can’t lift my arms!”  I’m also making progress on Ab Ripper X, the workout I love to hate.  You do 25 reps of each ab routine and I’m increasing the number of reps I do every time.  This workout is added to the weight routines so I do it twice a week and I’m eager to see some progress in the spare-tire area.

I am going to modify the program a bit, though.  Friday’s workout is a cardio routine and I don’t particularly like it.  The goal is cardio and burning calories so I’ll either hit the elliptical or do TJ.  Tomorrow’s workout is supposed to be the 90 minute yoga workout and I just don’t like yoga.  Part of the issue is that I have low blood pressure and low iron, so when I bend over into several of the positions I nearly black out.  So instead, I’m going to do my pilates DVD and add cardio after that.  I love exercise and don’t want to turn it into a chore so I’m not going to do a workout that I hate.  I will try the YogaX DVD when I lose a bit more and have better upper body strength b/c it’s pretty intense, but I’m not there yet.

Food still isn’t 100% but today has been much better.  Yesterday was Justin’s 7th b-day party and I have realized that too many 7 year-old boys makes me stress eat!!!  He had a blast but I was exhausted at the end of the 2 hours.  Was it only 2 hours??????

I know my weight will be up from 234 (last Sunday’s weigh in) but I’m ok w/that.  I’m PMSing and I ate like crap the last 2-3 days.  But the important thing is that I’m eating healthy foods probably 85-90% of the time and over time I will lose weight.  This week life should be a bit less crazy so there won’t be as many excuses to go off-plan. 

Thanks for all of the pro-education comments.  And yes, moonfairy, I did know who you were talking about.  Like, such as… 

The good news is I know that my job is safe regardless of the plan that is chosen.  No matter what budget cuts are made, they are “only” going to cut 2 middle/high school counselors and there are 5 people below me in seniority.   What sucks is that a great friend and fabulous counselor is going to get cut unless someone else retires and that’s not likely.  She has actually already been talked to by our principal.  I feel awful b/c even though I have more seniority, she was actually hired as a counselor before me and when she was hired she asked if a situation like this occurred would she have more seniority than the next person who was hired (it was fairly certain that they’d hire another counselor).  She was told “yes”.  But since I was already in the district my years came w/me so I’m above her.  It’s all confusing and even though I feel awful I can’t volunteer to take the cut but it just feels icky.

Food was awful yesterday but today is a new day.  I have to bake my son’s b-day cake for his party today so it’s in the oven and I only took a little lick of the batter.  Once it’s out and cooling I’m going to workout and then start getting ready.  He’s having his buddy party this afternoon and it’s going to be crazy w/a bunch of 7-year old boys running around.  Hard to believe that my little guy is almost 7 (next Thursday is his birthday).  Why is it that every year the age seems so big?  I remember when he turned 6 last year that 6 sounded so old.  Seven seems like he’s almost 10! 

Hope to check in w/you all later.

Fog again this morning but only a 1 hour delay.  I considered getting up and doing my workout and then getting in some extra time on the elliptical after school, but I’m trying to stick to this program and not add anything extra.  I have a “more is better” approach to most things but I worry that if I do 60 minutes of kickboxing (today’s workout) and then add 30-60 minutes of the elliptical I could be setting myself up for problems down the road. 

Just finished Kempo Karate and I have to say I’m a bit disappointed.  It was a good workout and I like the kicks/jabs but I prefer to do TJ when I’m kickboxing.  I might switch it up some weeks for variety but the hour did go by quickly.

Not such a good day @ school.  As I have mentioned before our district is in severe financial trouble.  Our “best case scenario” was that we would have to cut $5 million dollars from the budget.  Last night the district unveiled 3 plans for the school board to vote on and the “new best case scenario” is that they’ll have to cut $7.4 million dollars.  And the frustrating thing is that nobody can explain why we’re in such bad shape.  A district about an hour away that is twice our size only has to cut $4 million.  I’m pretty certain that my job is safe unless they go to the worst case scenario (cutting $11.6 million) but even if I get to stay it’s going to be tough for the next several years.  Class sizes going up, teachers teaching an extra class, my caseload increasing and cutting support services.    Fortunately I work w/some tremendous people so they’ll step up to the plate but it’s going to be tough.

Caved on the biscuits last night which led to a few other unhealthy choices but I stopped myself before I did too much damage.  Tonight after my treat (sf chocolate pudding, banana and strawberries) I’m going to brush my teeth so I can’t have anything else.

The fog started rolling in last night and I was so hopeful that it would stick around until morning.  The alarm went off and I could barely see out the window.  Woohoo, 2 hour delay!  Going back to sleep is never an option but I did my workout before school instead of after.  Today it was legs and back as well as Ab Ripper X, 75 minutes total.  The leg part wasn’t too hard but I think tomorrow and the day after will be the true measure.  The Ab Ripper is killing me, though.  I’m going to push through and do as much as I can and by the end I’ll be happy that I did.

Food is still my issue but I turned away from a few temptations today so I’m pleased.  I have a healthy meal ready to go but my hubby is making biscuits and gravy and it smells fabulous!  Obviously my talks w/him about how I want him to live for a long time haven’t hit their mark.  I have modified our grocery list little by little so I need to keep my eye on the prize. 

We had our brunch today and it was nice but my hubby’s family NEVER LEAVES!!  Brunch started at 11:00 and they finally left at 4:00.  They all hang out together all of the time so I can’t believe they have enough to talk about, but it was a pleasant afternoon.  I couldn’t help me self, though, from thinking about all of the stuff I needed to get done while we were sitting there just hanging out.

Today the scheduled workout was the 90 minute yoga so I skipped that and did a 25 minute yoga DVD that I have.  I don’t feel bad about it b/c from what I know, the P90X yoga is pretty intense and I’d spend a good chunk of time watching them do what I cannot, so at least I did some good stretching and core work.

I made decent food choices @ the brunch today and I’m happy.  I fought the all-or-nothing attitude that has ruled my life and took small portions of indulgent foods.  I stopped before I was stuffed and had another small helping of a casserole when everyone left b/c I knew I needed something in my stomach before I worked out.  I’ll have another small meal tonight for supper and call it a day.

Oh, I almost forgot, the best news of all!!  I weighed in at 234 this morning!  On Thursday I was 238.5!!  This will help me get through this crazy week b/c it’s time for parent-teacher conferences which means 12 hour days, eating out, etc.  But now I know I can do it so all I need to do is actually do it!

Have a great week, ladies.

Saturday morning infomercials are some of my favorite things to watch so as I was watching the P90X infomercial for the millionth time I had an “ah-hah” moment.  For years, literally years, I have watched that infomercial and thought “Wow, it’s amazing how those people got such great results” as if it was something that would be denied to me.  Even now, as I’m starting these workouts, I still feel like I won’t enjoy the amount of success that others have.  Finally it dawned on me, why can’t I be like one of the people in the infomercial.  I’m following the workouts, I’m eating healthy food in the proper proportions.  It’s not like my body is some genetic mystery that doesn’t respond to the laws of physics or chemistry or whatever science guides weight loss.

So now I’m raring to go.  I know my new outlook helped me get through the day b/c it was way different than an average Saturday.  Justin had a karate tournament and we made the rest of our plans based on leaving there around 1:00.  The tourney didn’t end until 2:30, so by the time we finished all of our planned events it was 6:00 when we got home.  We ate lunch, and I stuck to grilled chicken breasts in a lemon/herb sauce, a side salad and broccoli.  When we got home, I knew I had to workout, put away groceries, clean the bathrooms and the hardwood floors.  I put away the groceries and decided to workout first.  Loved the workout, BTW!  Chest/shoulders/triceps was on the agenda and I know I’ll be feeling it tomorrow but I’m proud to say I kept up.  The Ab Ripper afterward kicked my butt, but I know in time it will show progress.

So now it’s 9:30, my bathrooms and floors are cleaned and I’m pooped.  I ended up skipping supper b/c it was 8:00 and I didn’t want too much.  I had a banana before I worked out and drank a protein shake after I lifted so don’t go thinking I’m trying to starve myself, it was just too late.

Tomorrow we’re having company for brunch so it will be more cleaning and then cooking in the morning.  After they are gone in the afternoon I’m going to do the yoga workout that is scheduled for Sunday.  It’s 90 minutes and I’m a bit scared b/c I know it’s intense and I rarely do yoga, but it will be good for me.  I’ll do what I can and not worry about what I can’t.

I’m off to shower, see you tomorrow

We’re kind of busy this weekend so to avoid any obstacles w/my workouts I’m planning for how to fit them in.  It’s not even going to be all that difficult, just a needed shift in priorities.

Tonight I did Cardio X, the 2nd workout in the lean version of P90X.  It is the short workout in the series, only 43 minutes.  So far I’m really liking how the workouts fall on each day of the week.  The longest workouts will be on the weekend and with the Friday workout only being 43 minutes I can actually run all of my usual Saturday morning errands (Walmart, grocery store) right after school on Friday and then workout before or after supper.  This will help especially on Saturday mornings b/c I generally try to get my workout done before anyone gets up in the morning so it seems like (to others) that I don’t do a workout on Saturday.  Now that I’m going to need to carve out 75 minutes for a workout, eliminating a couple of hours of errands will create some time during the day.

I ate my sandwich for breakfast today and I think it helped with my hunger.  Reading the “Eat Clean Diet” while I’m doing this is helping b/c it’s making me mindful of everything I put into my body.  Twice in the last 2 days I have been hungry and considered scrounging for a snack but instead I drank some water to see if I was actually thirsty.  Both times it worked!  Now I know this won’t work every time but it’s nice to remind myself that I’m in control of what I put into my body instead of responding to hunger pangs.

I did become a bit sore as the day wore on today and I’m curious to see how I’m going to feel tomorrow.  There was a lot of yoga in the cardio workout today and I don’t typically do that so some muscles might have been used in a different way.

I realize now that I’m babbling so I’ll sign off.  See you tomorrow