It’s all up to me

One more day and we get a small break–just Friday and Monday but it’s 4 days off instead of just 2 so I’ll take it.  I have fit in some cardio this week, not as much as I’d like but I’m finally accepting that this is a marathon and not a sprint so if life is too crazy for two days and I miss my workout I’ll survive.  I know, I can’t believe I’m saying it, either!!!  Instead I have been focusing on food, listening to my body and making healthy choices.  For instance, last night I came home exhausted and starving.  I had a snack and was still hungry so I had another snack.  I was still hungry so I ate supper…at 4:15!  I was worried that I’d be packing on the calories but I was done eating for the night other than a yogurt around 8:00.  Tonight I went out to dinner w/my son and had grilled pork chops w/a side salad and broccoli.  We did share onion rings and a cookie but I’m proud of myself that I didn’t give into my all-or-nothing thinking.  After today life gets back to “normal” and I don’t think there are any after school activities that will get in the way of my workouts.

Tomorrow I start round 2 of P90X and I’m ready to get back to intense workouts.

I’m exhausted so I’m going to bed as soon as I can.  School is crazy, crazy, crazy and hot as all get out.  My office has no windows and it’s almost 80 degrees outside but the heat is still on inside.  Gotta love it when you come home and the waistband of your pants is wet.  Maybe I sweat off a few pounds???

We decided to change our Make A Wish to a trip to Hawaii.  We had never really considered a trip b/c there’s not a lot of activities that Kyle can participate in but we found an article written by a woman who has a child w/similar limitations and it described all of these neat activities that had been modifed for kids w/significant disabilities and in wheelchairs.  I don’t know if it will be approved but we contacted our local chapter and asked to have our wish changed.  If it’s approved we plan to go the summer of 2011 which gives us longer to save spending money and me to shed some more weight.  Although I have more than 50 pounds to go, losing 50 would put me at 185-190 and looking pretty ok.  So “Hawaii 5-0″ is my new inspiration.

This is my recharge week for P90X so I have just been doing a lot of cardio.  Watched a few movies on the elliptical, Precious and The Blind Side.  Precious wasn’t quite what I expected and honestly not as good as I was anticipating.  The Blind Side was everything I expected and more. 

The weather here is going to be fabulous–70’s and possibly 80 by Thursday.  So wish we had a spring break!

Blew it yesterday w/food and exercise.  The notifications continued for layoffs and some people are being cut that weren’t anticipated.  I have only been at this school for 6 months and I feel awful for these people, it’s so tough on the people who have worked together for years and years.  The one girl in our department who is in jeopardy still hasn’t been talked to which is good, but it’s such a roller-coaster ride for her and us.  I do believe they made the decision as to whether or not she’d be cut yesterday so she should know soon.

After school I dropped a check off at the bank and saw that there was about $700 less in our checking account than there should have been.  Today one of my tasks is to go online and see what happened.  Ugh.

On a bright note, we took our older son and 2 of his buddies to see “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” last night.  It was very good and taught some valuable lessons.  It was neat afterward to hear the boys (scholars that they are as 1st graders) debating the book vs. the movie and how it was changed.  Even though he frustrates me sometimes Justin is so sweet and I dread the day he turns into a know-it-all adolescent.  Granted, there are times we think we’re raising a 13-year old girl due to his attitude but he’s still my baby.  If you do see the movie, the best scene is a class where the teacher shows a movie called “It’s Awesome to Be Me”.  I won’t go into details but I think that was put in the movie for the parents.

This week is a rest week for P90X so I’m focusing on cardio.  I’m going to be interested to see if my insane hunger decreases w/the lack of lifting.  I lift all of the time so I can’t understand why this particular program is making me want to eat everything in sight but if my hunger goes down this week I’ll know it at least has something to do w/it.  I also am going to begin journaling what I’m eating.  I’m obviously eating more than I should b/c if someone works out an hour a day they should lose something.  Granted, I have lost some inches but not very many.  Thankfully I enjoy exercise b/c otherwise I would have given up on it long ago.

Today the 2nd landscaper came by to give us an estimate.  First surprise was that the estimate was going to cost us $250.  She explained that by planning it out well in advance it will actually save us money b/c we won’t be paying $50/hour (what???) while the guys run back to the store for something they forgot.  I understand that, but what I told her was that we’re not even sure if we’re going to hire out.  And even if we do, we’re gathering estimates from several different companies so the $250 we spend to get her information could truly go to waste.  Plus, it was not disclosed to me at the time that I made the appt. that there would be a fee.  She was gracious and said that if we changed our mind to give her a call and I truly will. 

But what she said next about knocked me over.  I explained that the budget will determine if we hire the work done or do it ourselves.  She said “Typically a good landscaping job will run you about 10% of the value of the home.”  WHAT????  So apparently I need to live in a $25,000 home to landscape it properly b/c we were hoping to not pay more than $2500 (not including the plants b/c we can do that part ourselves).  So I’m guessing that my summer will involve lots and lots of trips w/a wheelbarrow.  Great workout, right???

Speaking of workouts I’m going to need to take my rest day today.  Hubby has a meeting until 9:00 and the landscaping lady came during my regular workout time.  It’s ok b/c I’m whupped.  Today they started notifying teachers that would be cut and there were definitely a few surprises.  I’m so glad that’s not my job to deliver that news.

Today was kind of a crappy day and when I got home I had no interest in working out.  It’s officially a rest day so I could have hung out on the couch but I knew that w/my current state of mind that would be a recipe for disaster.  I already varied from my regular eating routine by ordering Chinese for lunch so I didn’t want to go back to my usual “I ate too many calories already today so I might as well go for it” way of life.  I did 45 minutes on the elliptical which was a challenge b/c I’m out of movies to watch so I had to watch regular tv.  But I did a different program with higher intensity since I didn’t work out as long as I usually do.  Now I have fish baking in the oven and hopefully it will be a relatively quiet night.  I hope to be able to catch up on what some of you are doing and get to bed early.

Not much info on the budget decision.  They voted to approve 2 of 3 options but regardless of which option they choose it’s the same for counselors.  We’re hoping 1 more counselor will retire which means that everyone at our school can stay.

Right now my decision is revolving around landscaping.  We have a guy here right now measuring to provide an estimate to have it done for us.  I have no idea how much it’s going to cost but I know it’s going to be more than I want to pay :)  We are home during the summer so I know we could do it ourselves, but it could honestly take us weeks and weeks and I’m not sure it will be worth the money we’d save.  The pea gravel would be deposited on our driveway which means our garage would be out of commission, and technically you’re not supposed to park on the streets in our neighborhood so it is an actual problem.  I guess for right now I’m not going to worry about it until the estimate comes in.

Food has been good but I have been eating a lot.  Last night I couldn’t get full.  After supper I had my “treat” of sf chocolate pudding mixed with bananas and strawberries.  Later I was still hungry and after waiting it out for a while I put a little bit of peanut butter on a 90-calorie Fiber One bar.  About an hour later I was still hungry so I had a small bowl of cereal.  I’m ok w/this b/c I was truly hungry and I made healthy choices but I’m not quite certain why I was so hungry.  It continued to today so I added a small handful of trail mix which got me though until lunch. 

Using my pants as a guide I’m getting smaller which is nice.  Of course I wish I was making faster progress but at least they’re not getting tighter!

I’ll be glad we don’t have a spring break when it’s summer but I really need a break.  We had a nice weekend but when the alarm went off this morning I did not want to get up.  School was fine and my meeting got over earlier than I expected so I was still able to workout when I got home but it’s like I’m on fast-forward.  I’d love to take a day off and relax but I don’t know when I could.  Tomorrow and Wednesday I’m teaching guidance lessons and tomorrow night after school landscapers are coming to give an estimate.  Wednesday night Kyle has an appointment w/his ear doctor and Thursday after school another landscaper is coming to give an estimate.  My hubby has 3 meetings Thursday night so I’ll be on my own w/the kids so I might try to switch my rest day from Weds to Thurs.  And Friday night we’re taking Justin and a few buddies to see “Diary of a Wimpy Kid”.  Saturday morning is a birthday party for Justin.  Whew, busy week.  Oh well, it should pass quickly.

Tonight I did my leg workout and although it’s tough I’m amazed how quickly it goes by.  I’m hoping my calves aren’t as sore this week.  It was probably Thursday last week before the pain went away.

Keep your fingers crossed–tonight is the night the school board votes on budget plans.  I’m hoping they’re going to keep 5 counselors @ both high schools–then my friend gets to keep her job and none of us have to travel.

I’m still in disbelief b/c my alma-matter, the University of Northern Iowa, beat Kansas last night in the NCAA tourney!  We were watching the game and they were playing well but I honestly never thought they’d hang on for the entire 40 minutes!  It’s KU, for goodness sakes!  But they did and now they’re in the Sweet 16!!!

Woohoo, Go Panthers

Last night was busy with preparing for the party today.  We had a meeting after school and Kyle fell asleep right afterward for an extra nap so while my hubby went to the store I got to work cleaning.  The worst job is cleaning the hardwood floors so I did that first to get that out of the way.  When he got home I hopped on the elliptical for an hour and started watching “GI Jane”.   I never saw that movie and I figured something like that would be motivating.  Holy cow was she in shape!

Afterward everything was fairly normal and then out of nowhere I started thinking about my dad and started crying.  I have been pretty ok since he died but realizing that he won’t be at the boys’ birthday party got to me.  Christmas wasn’t too hard, surprisingly, but I think that was b/c we were prepared for it and knew that it would be tough.  I never in a million years would have thought this simple little birthday party would be such an issue  so I caught me by surprise.  I think the cherry on top is the fact that my hubby’s idiot uncle is in town so he’ll be stopping by.  So not only do I not get to see my dad, I have to put up w/Jim.  I’m almost hoping he makes one of his rediculous comments b/c it will allow me to blow off some steam

Food-wise for the party I’m going to make healthy choices so I can indulge in one dessert.  We’re having bbq pork but I had my hubby keep some pork on the side w/o bbq for those who don’t like it.  I’ll eat some of that and veggies which should fill me up.  I’ll eat healthy, filling food all morning to get me though.

Got to go have labwork done for Kyle and then it’s time to finish cleaning.  I did tell my hubby that I needed to get in a workout today so I’m proud of myself for not letting that go.  Happy Saturday!

Today is Justin’s 7th birthday.  Hard to believe that he was about an hour old right now, all warm and snuggly in my arms.  Sniff, sniff.

Today, though, was kind of a bummer day.  At school I realized that although my job is safe, my actual position might change.  We currently have 6 counselors at our high school and the other school in town (which has fewer students) has 5 counselors.  Next year they’re looking at having 4 1/2 at each school which means one person would go between the 2 schools.  Even though I’m not lowest in seniority it could easily be me.  I’m trying not to dwell on it right now and even if that happens I need to be happy that I have a job, but it’s not the news that I wanted to hear.

We also found out that Kyle’s Make-a-Wish was denied.  It was difficult to come up with the idea that we submitted and the local group said that they thought it was a great idea.  The state people, however, didn’t agree so now we’re back to square one.  The frustrating thing is that if we said we wanted a trip to Disney or Hawaii it would get approved in a second at a pricetag of about $7K.  What we wanted to do was get swingsets that both boys could play on and create some memories b/c there’s not a lot they can do together but since Kyle can’t play on a lot of the swingset they said it was more for Justin than for him.  I understand why they say that but Kyle isn’t your typical disabled kid and there’s not a lot that he likes to do.  He would rather stay home than go anywhere and it’s risky to his health to take him in public.  We’re hoping we can modify our wish instead of completely starting over.  Ugh.

But for now I’m putting it out of my mind.  It’s Justin’s b-day and he had fun.  I did my P90X workout right after school and when he got home he wanted to ride his bike while I pushed Kyle in the wheelchair so I was able to take about a 20 minute walk.  It was about 65 and sunny today so it was beautiful!  Especially considering the fact that we’re supposed to get 2 inches of snow on Saturday.

I won’t be commenting tonight b/c we’re watching the NCAA tourney!  I went to a small-ish school in Iowa (UNI) and we’re the only team in the state that made it to the tourney.  We’re playing UNLV so I need to cheer on my Panthers.  Go Cats!!