It’s all up to me

My sister’s announcement was a huge hit and Thanksgiving was fantastic. It will be a memory that I will never forget and will cherish forever. It’s so bittersweet b/c my dad died Friday morning. I was at the mall trying to get a parking spot and my older brother called. He said that “dad went down” and that it didn’t look good. I live an hour away and considered just leaving from the parking lot to save some time but I know that I probably shouldn’t be driving. We were on the road w/i about 15 minutes and while we were on the way my brother called back and said that dad had died.

We are so fortunate that as a family we had such a wonderful Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law got a fabulous picture of my dad w/the ultrasound and I got a good one of my parents together. We had so much fun, he stayed up late playing cards and the doctors said he essentially died instantly from a massive heart attack in his sleep. For him it was exactly like he wanted to go but I just wish it was 30 years from now.

So obviously I might be missing for a while. I’m going back and forth between not being able to eat a bite and not being able to stop eating. This sucks.

Current weight: 224.5 (-1)

I only have about 8 more hours to hold the secret of my sister’s pregnancy! I seriously wonder if she chose me to tell initially b/c she knows I have a hard time keeping secrets about things like this and if it wasn’t something so special I probably would have shared the beans. But I know how wonderful it feels to tell people that you’re having a baby and I didn’t want to take that from her. If we can swing it w/o it being too obvious we’re going to videotape it and take pictures so my sister can “see” their reaction. If this doesn’t make sense and you’re curious, read my last post.

I’m stoked about my weight going down again. I know I’m in the “honeymoon” phase and I want to keep it going as long as I can. My sides are nice and sore due to dragging out TJ yesterday and I’m going to workout before we head out. I was going to do my yoga/pilates DVD this morning but we bought a new DVD player when we moved into this house and we haven’t used it yet so there is a bit of set-up to do. I gave it a try and was going to throw the DVD into the laptop but then the boys woke up so my relaxing yoga time vanished. I WILL fit in a workout, even if it’s only the 20 minute TJ. And then I can start working out for real b/c I found the box that has my Chalean Extreme DVDs as well as my book where I record what weights I use for what exercises. I have to figure out what days of the week I’m going to lift but I’ll definitely be starting this next week. Can’t wait to get my old arms back

For those in the states have a Happy Thanksgiving and for those who aren’t, Happy Thursday

Current weight:  225.5 (-2)

I decided not to make the cookies and almost by accident.  I went back and forth about 100 times last night and honestly forgot about it this morning until we were actually at the grocery store.  My homemade sugar cookies are very good so I wasn’t willing to buy ready-made cookie dough.  Plus, by the time you buy the frosting and candy for decorating I would have probably had at least $20 invested and I wasn’t willing to spend the cash.  I do feel bad about not making the memories w/Justin but we can always do it next year when I feel a bit more in control of my eating.  Plus, by then I’ll be at my goal weight, right???

We did make a different memory, though.  After we went to the grocery store I told him I was going to workout and he asked if he could, too.  He hopped on the treadmill while I did Turbo Jam.  He wants to start walking on the treadmill every day when he gets home from school.  Right now he’s running and jumping on the spare bed (it’s laying on the floor of our basement family room b/c of course there are too many boxes in the guest room to set it up on the frame) so I’m happy that he’s being active.  We actually set up his Wii last night after having it taken away for 2 weeks due to behavior and he hasn’t even asked about it.  SCORE!!!!

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I am so excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow b/c my little sister is finally going to tell the family that she’s pregnant.  I found out when Kyle was in the hospital back in October so I don’t know if I told you all but they have been trying for over 6 years and it finally worked.  She’s now 16 weeks and everything looks great.  They live in Savannah, GA so she won’t be there so I’m going to print off a picture from the 8-wk ultrasound and have it ready and then when my mom is sitting down after the commotion of the meal I’m going to call her so she can call us.  I’m going to try to get a picture of my mom’s face when she find out since my sister and BIL can’t be there to see it.  I’m hoping I’ll be so excited for the announcement that I won’t have much of an appetite

Current weight: 227.5 (no change)

We don’t have school tomorrow and I have a list a mile long to complete. One thing that I’m debating is making these really cute turkey cookies. I know that making the cookies is a bad idea b/c I’ll eat them as I’m baking them as well as after they’re done. The reason I want to make them is b/c it will be a fun thing to do w/my son and they will be fun to take for Thanksgiving. So I have to decide what I want more–being thin and healthy sooner or a baking memory w/my son and the oohs and aahs from my family. I know what the answer should be, but I can’t honestly say that I’m going to forego the baking.

Wasn’t able to workout today b/c I had to attend a wake. But I am proud to say that I stuck to my food plan. We even had a meeting out of the building today and my friend wanted to stop at Jimmy John’s for lunch. She did go, but I ate the lunch that I brought from home.

Weighed in @ school for our Biggest Loser contest. It was mid-day w/boots on so my weight is 229.2 It will go down.

Current weight: 227.5 (+2)

Not much to say but I know when I stop posting that things go awry. Food has been good today and that’s even w/facing the challenge of being out of cheese sticks, a major go-to snack @ school. I only worked out for about 15 minutes on my new elliptical b/c it was so hard. I don’t have the plug-in for the computer that controlls all of the resistance and I’m thinking it’s kind of like the power steering going out in the car. At least I hope it’s the case b/c otherwise I’m going to end up w/thighs like a linebacker. But I remember playing on it at the store and it wasn’t this tough so I think I’m right.

Current weight: 225.5 (-1)

Yesterday worked out fairly well so when Kyle went down for a nap Justin and I set up my workout room. We bought the rubber flooring that goes together like puzzle pieces and I was amazed at how quickly it went down. The elliptical is in place and all of my other equipment is in there. Unfortunately, the tv isn’t hooked up yet b/c the electricians didn’t hook up something right (don’t ask me what but it’s enough that my hubby is enraged b/c they have screwed up on quite a few things) so I’m not sure if I’m going to start using it this week or next. I do have our portable DVD player so I could do workouts and even watch movies while I’m on the elliptical.

Thanks for all of the great comments yesterday! OK gals, I vow to be the navigator on our journey to one-derland. Even though it has been a loooooong time since I have been there I know how to read a map so I will get us there. It might feel like we’re barely moving sometimes but I promise to never give up.

Got to go, I have 2 little boys playing in clay

Current weight: 226.5

I’m beginning to think that One-derland is one of those mythical places that doesn’t really exist. Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy live there, plus a few special mortals. It’s just a mile or two past Oz. Maybe it’s down the Yellow Brick Road?

OK, I realize that I truly know how to get there, it just seems that I have been planning this trip for so long and that I keep getting sidetracked as I’m headed to my destination. Sometimes I’m zipping along on cruise control at 100 mph, making great choices and losing weight. But other times I swear I’m spinning my tires or even worse, going backwards. It’s like that scene in “Dumb and Dumber” where they take a wrong turn on the interstate and see the sign that says “Welcome to Nebraska”. No offense to fellow midwesterners (I’m from Iowa) but I feel like I’m stuck in Nebraska.

OK, enough dumb driving metaphors. I need to take the bull by the horns (animal metaphors, anyone???) and get my butt in gear. The good news is things are starting to all into place. We put up pantry shelves last night and come he!! or highwater we’re getting the workout room set up over the weekend. This is critical for so many reasons but especially b/c of an email I got yesterday. They’re starting a Biggest Loser contest @ school starting Monday and going until Christmas break. You put in a dollar to start and at every weigh-in if you lose you owe nothing, if you maintain you owe a dollar and if you gain you owe 2.

This is EXACTLY what I need. It’s also going to shake up my routine a bit b/c weigh-ins are on Fridays and normally I hold mine off until Sunday. You wouldn’t think this would be a big deal but Sunday was the day for my cheat meal, which morphed into a cheat day. I’m going to give a cheat meal on Friday night a go and then stick to the plan over the weekend. It might actually be a good deal b/c we have a few holiday parties on Friday nights and then if I stay on the straight-and-narrow over the weekends I know I’ll make more progress than I have been. Granted, any progress is more progress than I have been but you know what I mean.

So this weekend I’m going to experiment w/healthy alternatives so I have some options. A while back I bought some healthy soups to take to school but I have been reluctant to take them for lunch b/c if I don’t like them I’m stuck w/o something to eat. There are only 2 flavors to start, but if I try them both over the weekend I can have them as options for school lunches or even suppers @ home.

Kyle’s awake, got to go

Current weight: 225.5 (-.5)

Today we had our Thanksgiving potluck at school and I’m pretty proud of how I did. I focused on turkey breast and then had a scoop of 3 side dishes; they were literally about 2 tablespoons each. Unfortunately the turkey was dried out by the time I got there but instead of eating it anyway I threw it away. For me that’s a huge accomplishment. Granted, I had 2 pieces of pie but for I stepped away from the table feeling full, not stuffed.

Tonight at home has been stressful. Our older son is being a challenge lately and he’s resisting the plan that we all developed for his behavior. Of course I expected him to resist it once he had to face a consequence but it’s still exhausting. I need to remind myself that most of the time he’s a fun kid to be around and that he’s not always rolling his eyes and being a brat. I swear, my 6-year old boy has turned into at 14-year old girl overnight. Egads.

I don’t remember who asked it but my workout goal that I keep track of is how many days I workout in a calendar year. Last year I set a goal of working out 250 days in a year and I started it July 4th. I’m happy to say I reached that goal in early May. So then I upped the ante to working out 300 days this year, starting it on Mother’s Day. I was clicking along at a great pace and then the move/hotel/hospital hit so I fell behind, but I will get back on track and reach this goal.

Speaking of getting back on track, the flooring for my home gym arrived today so I plan to have it ready to go by Monday at the latest. I have enjoyed working out after school w/ladies from work but I don’t workout long enough or hard enough with them. Plus, working out @ home I can use weights which I have missed dearly.

On a totally unrelated note, I ran into our pediatrician at our school today. He was a guest speaker for a health class. I was asking him some stuff about how to keep Kyle healthy when he’s around people for Thanksgiving and he told me that the medical community is now thinking that once you have gotten H1N1 that you will be immune for life, kind of like the chicken pox. Since Kyle, Justin and my hubby all had it that’s great news!

Progress toward workout goal: 141/300

Current weight: 226 (-2.5)

Wow, thanks for all of the supportive comments about my job situation. I know that a lot of people are in worse situations than we are and it may not even become an issue so for now I’m not going to worry about it.

I got sick of the elliptical so I rode the exercise bike for 30 minutes after school. Blew it w/food (found my hubby’s Halloween candy stash and indulged on 2 mini-Hershey bars) as well as 2 Little Debbie cupcakes. The first cupcake wasn’t all that great and I had to eat the 2nd one to convince myself that it wasn’t very good. Nope, second one wasn’t good either.

Tomorrow we’re having our Thanksgiving potluck at school. I’m going to focus on turkey and veggies and not go crazy on the pie.

Progress toward workout goal: 141/300

Current weight: 228.5

Today was a frustrating day. Issues w/the bank and post office, but the worst news is that our state and district are still in severe financial trouble so there’s a real chance I could lose my job next year. When I switched from a classroom teacher to a counselor I lost all of my seniority, which makes no sense b/c we’re on a teacher contract. It was a gamble and I knew it, but it was not known at the time how bad things were at the state level. Our governor announced a statewide 10% budget cut about a month ago, and about half of the cuts will come from the Department of Education. Things are already cut to the bone and they aren’t going to improve for probably a couple of years.

For now I’m going to have my pity party today and then move on tomorrow. I can’t control it so what I need to do now is make myself indespensible to our school and the district. I do believe that I’ll land somewhere, it just may not be exactly what I want to do. But at this point of my life I realize that even though I love what I’m doing now, I can muddle through to pay the bills if I need to. I guess that’s part of being a grown-up.

I am proud, though, that I ate healthy and worked out after school. I was out of my office in the afternoon and didn’t get back to workout right away so I considered skipping it b/c I had to leave early to go to the post office. But instead I changed, got in a 30 minute workout at higher intensity and stuck to it. I can do this.

Progress toward workout goal: 140