It’s all up to me

I finally got back on track w/food, at least for one day. Now I just need to repeat yesterday about 1000 times and maybe I’ll get somewhere.

I appreciate all of the comments on my new plan. Eileen, I think you’re right, that setting a goal of 90% perfection leaves too little wiggle room to make it worthwhile. I’m not sure what my figures are going to be but I will tweak them. I’m not sure if I’ll switch my goal for Eileen’s challenge b/c I think it will open up the door to too much nibbling. The competitive part of me wants to change my goal so I can earn a food star every day but I know it would be a hollow victory. I was able to log 2.5 activity stars today and will earn a ton over the weekend b/c we’re doing heavy, manual labor all weekend to get the house ready to sell. I may not be able to move for a week afterward but my butt will be moving this weekend. Gotta love it, my parents are taking the kids but we’ll probably be too tired and sore to take advantage of an empty house

Still waiting to hear about the guidance job. They did say it could be the end of the week before things get wrapped up and it’s only Wednesday but as I have mentioned before I AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON!!!!!! I know I am qualified and that I interviewed well, so I’m reminding myself of that often. If for some reason they wanted someone else then I can’t compete with that.

Today I got up at 4:00 for my regular Wednesday morning workout. Then after school it was so gorgeous here that Justin and I went for a bike ride and then cut the grass and planted our tiny garden. Two and one half stars for me, baby!

Progress toward workout goal: 11/300
Food points earned: 10

My food goal is out the window. Somehow, since I set it, I have been having more trouble w/eating than ever before. I don’t know if the goal was the reason but the point is it isn’t working. I don’t do well w/o a goal, though, so I have thought for a few days how I could change it and I think I have a plan that keeps me accountable yet isn’t an all-or-nothing situation. If you couldn’t figure it out last night wasn’t good for food

My new plan is that I can earn 10 points every day for food. Don’t have a heart attack, Eileen, I still only earn 1 on your site Anyway, if I stay on plan 100% I earn all 10 points. For everything I eat that’s off-plan I lose one point. This is the key to this new plan. For instance, last night I ate a cupcake. Then I thought “I already lost my star for the day and can’t add a day toward my food goal so I might as well eat another one.” So I did. And then we got Subway for supper (which isn’t bad) but the chips and dip that went along w/it were. Then the 2 mini-chocolate pies I ate afterward added to the damage and I’m sure I ate a few more things for good measure. With this new plan, if I ate the cupcake I would lose my star on Eileen’s site, but if I stop there I can still earn 9 points for the day. I think this plan will also help me w/Sundays when I’m at the peak of my calorie cycle. I need to add about 400 calories to my regular eating but I generally exceed that amount four or five times over.

To begin, my goal will be to earn 90% of my points for the rest of the month. Since I’m starting RIGHT NOW, there are 13 days left in May that’s a chance to earn 130 points. Ninety percent of that is 117 so that’s my goal.

Dear God I hope this works. This weekend we will be working like crazy on the house and my parents are taking the boys so it could be a food disaster. I’m sure we’ll go out to dinner since we’ll be childless but it will allow me to have one or two treats and not go completely crazy.
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This morning was the 2nd workout in the 2nd phase of Chalean Extreme and once again I love it. I also added 10 minutes of abs afterward and then hit the gym for 45 minutes after school for a grand total of 90 minutes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I wish you could control weight purely by exercise.

I’m still going to keep track of my workout goal, just b/c I like to keep track of things. Plus, it’s good for my ego to see those numbers increase every day.

Progress toward workout goal: 10/300

It’s probably a good thing that corporal punishment has been taken out of schools b/c I think I would have exercised it today. My students were fairly ok, considering the fact that we have 15 days of school until summer. But a teacher in our area was absent and the kids were awful for her sub. Her homeroom is full of challenging kids, including a bunch of snotty 6th grade girls. They’re those kids who have been told how wonderful and special they are one too many times, I think they’re little snots. I’m so glad that I don’t teach those girls and that I only have to see them 14 more times. It’s another reason I hope I get the guidance job b/c then I’ll NEVER have to teach them.

Gee, grouchy? I should be happy b/c when I got dressed this morning I put on a shirt that’s size L. Granted, it’s knit so it stretches but it’s a large!!

Got up at 4:00 and did pilates b/c Kyle had an appointment after school. Tomorrow morning is the 2nd workout of the heavy weight phase in my program, I can’t wait to see what I’ll be doing.

I also found out that the gym I was thinking of transferring to (it offers more and is way closer to my house) has a discount for school employees. Normally it’s $60/month but for us it’s only $40/mo. I’m currently paying $30 so adding the extra ten bucks is no big deal. My current membership expires in July, after that point I think I’ll switch. This gym has 4 treadclimbers instead of 2 and offers classes. I won’t be able to take classes during the school year but will take advantage of them over the summer.

Progress toward food goal: 4/285 (I need to get my butt in gear on this!!!)
Progress toward workout goal: 9/300

If any of you aren’t currently taking progress pictures I wholeheartedly recommend it. I took some at the start of my journey and can definitely see a change, but since I started the Chalean Extreme program I’m doing pics every 4 weeks. I just finished the 1st four-week segment and can definitely see a difference, especially in my waist and hips which is where I NEED to see a difference. I really didn’t expect to see that much of a difference w/i the first 30 days so I’m floored to say the least.

This got me totally pumped to start the 2nd segment and it’s tough. This month the goal is to lift weights heavy enough that you can only do 6-8. I learned during the 1st segment that I could lift the same weights that the instructor did and then I would note in my guidebook if I needed to add weight the next week. This time I did the same as the instructor as well and it dawned on me how strong I am, that at 230 pounds I’m lifting the same amount of weight as the creator of the program. There are even 2 exercises where I made a note to increase the weights next time. I swear I’m not being paid to provide testimonials but I LOVE THIS PROGRAM!!! If you’re not doing some sort of weightlifting you really need to give it a try.

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Thanks for all of the support from my pity-party yesterday. This morning we went to Panera as a foursome and Justin was all smiles. It reminds me of how special he is b/c most siblings can’t wait to get away from their little brothers/sisters and he’s upset that he isn’t doing more w/him. I still worry about germs in public places for Kyle but now that the weather is getting warmer we could pick something up and have a picnic in the park or do other activities like that. It’s going to be my focus this week to think of other activities we can easily do as a foursome w/o risking Kyle’s health (and our budget).

Progress toward food goal: 4/285
Progress toward workout goal: 8/300

I’m caving, at least temporarily.  This afternoon has been a major emotional rollercoaster and I’m going to eat to make myself feel better.  I know it’s a stupid response and I have been wrestling w/this for the last 30 minutes but I don’t have the mental strength to fight anymore.  I’m not going to lose the war, just this battle.

What happened?  Justin (our older son) went to a buddy’s house to play and the other boy misbehaved so Justin didn’t have a very good time.  He came home in a bad mood and after a long series of conversations he started crying b/c we never go anywhere as a family.  We’ll take just him somewhere or each of us will take him one-on-one but we don’t often take Kyle out b/c he’s too vulnerable to illness.  I think this started b/c the boy he played w/has a little brother and even though they fought they were able to play together.  So tomorrow we’re going to Panera for breakfast as a family.  I never realized how much something so simple as going somewhere as a family would mean to him. 

Sometimes things are just too hard to fight.

The interview went really well so now I sit and wait. The head principal wasn’t able to be there, must have been some sort of emergency b/c I know he was planning to. Anyway, I personally knew 2 of the 4 people on the committee and both of them (to my knowledge) are in favor of me getting the job. I don’t know what they think of the others but I feel I handled the questions very well. There were several nuts and bolts questions that I think someone who does not have counseling experience would have a hard time answering. I had been planning to address the issue of Kyle’s illness during the “what’s your greatest weakness” question but they didn’t ask it. So at the end, they asked if there was anything I didn’t get the chance to say that I would like to. I asked a few other questions but then decided to lay it all on the table. I know that at least 2 of them know in depth our situation w/Kyle so it would be on their minds anyway and I wanted to be straightforward about it. I explained that there will be times that he’s sick and I will have to be gone but that otherwise I will be there and give my best. I think it was the right way to handle it but even if it would somehow cost me the job then I shouldn’t be there. I told them that I would feel awful if I were offered the job and then sprung it on them that I have a sick child and have the potential to be gone more than an average employee. Morally I know it was the right thing to do but I also think it demonstrates that I’m straightforward and a person of character.

Before the interview I made sure to do my regular Saturday workout of pilates/yoga. It really helped me to work out a few jitters and relax. The rest of the day is going to be busy, busy, busy so it’s a good thing I worked out early.

Progress toward food goal: 4/285
Progress toward workout goal: 7/300

I have my job interview tomorrow and I’m ready. Not quite nervous yet but I know that will come. My friend, who currently is a counselor at this school, called me last night to give me the inside scoop. They’re interviewing 4 but it sounds like there’s only 2 of us that are serious contenders. The other woman is currently at this high school in a different position but my friend didn’t really think that this girl had any advantage over me b/c of it. Tonight is going to be spent waxing my eyebrows and painting my nails so that I’m ready to go in the morning.

Food has been good today which is good b/c it was awful last night. I’m guessing it’s nerves about tomorrow but who knows? The bad thing is I pulled the “Oh well, I’m not going to get my star or a day toward my food goal so I might as well enjoy it.” Dumb, I know. If that keeps happening I might get rid of my food goal but we’ll see for now.

Finished the first phase of Chalean Extreme and I can’t wait to move onto the next. I’m going to take pics tomorrow to see if there has been visible progress, although I can tell in my own feeling that there has. I can’t wait to see what the next 30 days are going to bring.

Also hit the gym after school for a total of 2 hours today. Yay!

Progress toward food goal: 3/285
Progress toward workout goal: 6/300

The Thursday workout in my Chalean Extreme is a favorite b/c it focuses on legs (including the calves) and shoulders. I decided to sleep in this morning, if you count sleeping until 5 am sleeping in!! Anyway, I came home after school and did my workout and then went outside to cut the grass. Woohoo, doggie, pushing a lawnmower up and down hills after doing many sets of squats and lunges isn’t easy. I definitely worked my legs today, but I will remember not to piggyback these 2 workouts EVER AGAIN!

Tomorrow is Friday and I can’t believe how quickly these last 2 weeks have gone. Especially toward the end of the school year things tend to get crazy and difficult but the time is flying by. I do think it has something to do w/the workout program I’m on b/c my workout week starts on Sunday, so it makes Monday feel like Tuesday, Tuesday feel like Wednesday…you get the picture. Who cares, time is going quickly and soon it will be summer!

Last night was kind of a downer but I think I handled it well. We were having supper and my older son said “I wish I didn’t have a brother like Kyle.” I asked him what he meant and he said that he doesn’t think it’s fair that I can’t play w/him b/c I always have to take care of his brother. I told him that I didn’t like it either, but that even if he had a healthy brother that there would be times I couldn’t play with him b/c of my other responsibilities. Then he started talking about how sad he is that Kyle is going to die before we are and how he’ll miss him. Talk about breaking your heart. I told him that I truly believe that once Kyle gets to heaven that he’ll be able to walk and talk just like we can and when we join him there that he’ll be able to tell us everything that he has been wanting to say for all of these years. I also said that because of this that we had better make sure that we’re nice to Kyle, otherwise he might have angry things to say when he can finally talk to us. And that Kyle being sick reminds us that we need to enjoy every minute we have with each other. Such a heavy load for a 6-year old to bear.

Progress toward food goal: 3/285
Progress toward workout goal: 5/300

Four weeks from today will be my first official day of summer. The kids’ last day is Monday, June 8th and we have inservice on Tuesday, June 9th. But June 10th is the beginning of a whole new world. June is going to be incredibly busy getting the house ready to put on the market but I’m looking forward to it. We have been making lists for months of all of the things we have to do in a few short weeks to meet our goal of having the house on the market by July 1st. I have a feeling our house is going to look like the scene in “Mr. Mom” at the end when all of the repair people are coming in and out of the house

I decided to get up and do my workout this morning in spite of the UTI. I figured if the plyometric parts of the workout were too difficult that I could follow the modified version but it ended up being ok. The biggest problem I had was that my shorts were literally falling down as I was doing jumping jacks, burpees, etc. I love those shorts and hate to see them go but I’m happy to get rid of them if it’s b/c they’re too big.

I couldn’t believe how well the at-home winner on TBL did. I don’t want to use any names in case someone hasn’t watched it but I couldn’t believe my eyes, I was so happy. I taped the last hour b/c I had to go to bed but unfortunately I just found out who won. I’ll still watch the end but it’s not as exciting when you already know the outcome. It makes me sad, though, b/c the person who won is the one person I didn’t want to win. I thought this person was self-centered and immature throughout the show and I hate to see behavior like that rewarded. Oh well, the person who won must have literally worked his/her butt off, I’ll be curious to see what this person looks like now.

Progress toward food goal: 2/285
Progress toward workout goal: 4/300

Man, I forgot how much I hated bladder infections. I thought one was coming on last night and when I woke up this morning I knew it for sure. Spent the day running to the bathroom (does that count as exercise???) every 10 minutes and went to the doctor after school. Had to cancel my badminton match against the kids b/c I felt like crap. Hopefully in a day or 2 I’ll be able to pee w/o wincing. Sorry, TMI.

I did manage to get in a workout this morning, though. Did the scheduled weighted workout for Chalean Extreme and added 10 minutes of abs. I’m debating on skipping my workout tomorrow morning b/c it’s mostly cardio and a lot of jumping and the idea of doing that w/a bladder infection isn’t appealing. I might do a pilates/yoga workout instead but who knows, I might actually skip a day. To answer a question asked last week, the pilates/yoga workouts I generally do is either the advanced workout for Windsor Pilates or the Slimdown Yoga/pilates blend. I love this workout b/c it’s yoga w/o having your head down by the ground. I have low blood-pressure and when I try to do regular yoga moves like a downward dog I almost pass out. Ellen Barrett is the leader and I like everything that she does.

Progress toward food goal: 1/285
Progress toward workout goal: 3/300

Oh, I almost forgot! I have an interview for the guidance position on Saturday. I wish it was sooner b/c I’ll be nervous until then but at least it will give me time to prepare. I’ll let you all know how it goes.