It’s all up to me

I realized this morning that I didn’t get online yesterday and that can only mean one thing…bad food choices. I’m not going to go into details but looking back on it I waited too long to eat so I was hungry. I also felt bad for my hubby b/c he worked his tail off installing our new kitchen floor (it looks beautiful, btw) and since he’s the main cook for our family I gave in when he wanted to order take-out. His eating habits are atrocious, and my goal over the summer is to have a vegetable cross his lips on a regular basis, but yesterday wasn’t the day to start the process.

As I was berating myself over yet another unhealthy food choice I tried to figure out why I keep choosing this path. I am smart enough to understand the biology of how to lose weight. I know that I feel more energetic when I eat healthy foods and that I feel proud of myself when I make the better choice. So I know what I should do, I know that I can do it, but I still choose not to. That’s when the lightbulb went off; I’m just like those kids in my classes who have the smarts to succeed but for whatever reason they do not. Any teacher will tell you that these kids are the most frustrating. Give me a kid who has a learning disability any day over a kid who does not use his/her potential. I’m that kid not using her potential. This epiphany isn’t going to turn me into someone who never makes the poor choice again, maybe it will make me more empathetic toward those kids who drive me crazy year after year.
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I know a lot of us are fans of diet shows on tv and I watched one yesterday that was interesting. It’s on BBC America and it’s called “You are What you Eat.” A woman (I assume she’s a dietician) meets w/people to analyze what they’re eating now and develops a plan to increase their health, then she checks in w/them in the future. Not much different from other shows, but this woman analyzes their “poo”. The people actually have to drop a deuce into a tupperware container and she has it checked out through a disgusting but fascinating process. TMI warning here so be aware. It made me realize that I could almost judge my previous days food intake by that measure alone. When I’m on the straight and narrow I’m regular like clockwork and it takes me honestly less than 30 seconds to complete the deed. I remember an “Oprah” episode one time where Dr. Oz said that your “poo” should be firm and resemble an S in shape. Most days mine is like that. But on mornings after I have indulged it’s a whole different ballgame. My stomach is crampy, it takes me much longer to go and the consistency is much different. Like I said, TMI. Gee, maybe I should change my food goal on the W8 Challenge website to have healthy poo???
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Exercise-wise I’m still doing well but yesterday I really lacked motivation. I did my traditional Saturday-morning pilates but only b/c I forced myself to, not b/c I wanted to. The rest of the day was devoted to helping hubby w/the kitchen, moving appliances, furniture, etc. Later in the day Justin and I did go outside and toss a football around for a while but not hard enough to work up a sweat so I’m not counting it as exercise.

Today I did my CE workout but w/a much better attitude. I know that’s b/c I love weightlifting so much so it’s not a chore. With summer coming I know that I need to find a few new pilates and cardio workouts so I don’t get burned out. That will be my goal over the next week so that when summer hits I’m ready!!!!

Progress toward workout goal: 20/300
I’m dropping my food points b/c it’s not motivating and obviously not working. I’m going to focus my energy instead on earning 70 stars in June in Eileen’s challenge!

We have been talking about and planning for building a house since before we bought this house 7 years ago. Because of this it still doesn’t seem like we’re actually going to start the building process in the next month. Even buying the land hasn’t made it real b/c all we have done is sign a piece of paper. But tonight we rented a storage garage and took some extra furniture out there so our house looks bigger. Tomorrow my hubby is putting in a new kitchen floor which is going to look AWESOME! It’s making it finally seem real. In about a month we’re going to put that “For Sale” sign in our yard, maybe then it will seem real.

Today my principal informed me that I didn’t get the guidance job and then tonight the letter came in the mail that made it official. I’m glad that I can tell people now when they ask and then plan for next year. When he called me into his office today I think I discovered his opinion of me for the first time. I have always believed that he thought I was a good teacher but beyond that I wasn’t sure. Today he told me that since I’m staying he’s rearranging a few things he was going to do so that I could hold one of the new leadership positions w/i our school. He might have been blowing smoke up my a$$ but he said that this new arrangement is in place purely for me to provide leadership to a group of teachers that really needs it. It should be interesting b/c he and I don’t always see eye-to-eye on things but he knows that I speak my mind so I guess he’s in for the challenge. Either way, it was nice to receive a compliment after I was feeling like a loser for not getting the job.

Today has been VERY active but a struggle w/food. I worked out for 45 minutes before school, 1 hr 15 minutes after school and then spent another 30 minutes moving/lifting furniture and furiously scrubbing the floor for a total of 2 hrs 30 minutes! After we hauled furniture to the storage garage I had to stop at the store to get tomatoes and broccoli for my supper and I was tempted to screw the healthy meal and get something easy. Actually, the broccoli and tomatoes are easy so I guess it would be something comforting. Fortunately I was still in my sweaty workout clothes so I reminded myself that I had worked too hard today to make a stupid choice like that. It’s about 2 hours until bedtime, I’m going to hang strong until then. I’ll have to figure out a plan for tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

Progress toward workout goal: 19/300
On-plan points this month: 90

I found out today that I didn’t get the guidance job I wanted so desperately. What’s even worse is that I haven’t officially been told so I can’t ask my principal for the new curriculum I’ll be teaching next year so I feel like I’m wasting my time. My principal does know, but he was told not to tell me. He told our AP (who is a close friend of mine) and she told me b/c she thought I should know. I promised her, though, that I wouldn’t say a word until I was notified officially. Tomorrow I’ll work on finding the bright side of things but for now I’m just going to be sad.
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School was fun (other than the downer news). We were practicing clothing/color vocabulary so I brought in a bunch of goofy clothes and the kids had a fashion show. The “models” picked out clothes and then their partners described what they were wearing in Spanish. For whatever reason a group of boys asked me how old I was. When I said “35″ the one kid looked like his eyes were going to fall out of his head. Usually this is b/c that’s about how old their parents are, sometimes they’re even younger. Anyway, they all said that they thought I was only 30-32. I think it helped that I had an awesome outfit and Barbie shoes so I looked younger than a typical 35-year old teacher.

Workout was good. I was able to do a new CE workout. I didn’t really like the 1st part but the 2nd half had a ton of great arm work. I love it when my muscles are shaking so hard that I don’t know if I can finish the reps.

My son wants to play Go Fish so I’m going to sign off.

Progress toward workout goal: 18/300
On-Plan points this month: 80

Nothing exciting to report which I suppose is good. I may have some news soon about the job I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago b/c my principal is getting frustrated that he doesn’t know if he’s going to have to replace me. He was planning to call the other principal today and see what’s going on.

School was fun today b/c I got to talk up my badminton victory over the boys. It was funny b/c they didn’t even address the issue so of course I was completely immature and brought it up. Then I used every opportunity during class to remind them of the fact that I whupped them 2 on 1!!! It’s probably a good thing that I teach middle school b/c we have the same mentality. It’s all in fun, they’re great kids and you can totally joke w/them.

Got up at 4:00 to do my workout and it was hard to get moving today. The 2 1/2 hours of workouts yesterday took their toll and my right arm was sore from badminton. I made my way through the workout, though, so I was glad about that.

Food so far has been good and it’s about 2 hours until bedtime so it is going to stay good, even if I have to tape my mouth shut. Crap, I just heard my hubby pull out a bowl to get ice cream. I don’t even like ice cream all that much, it’s just the idea of it. Screw that, I want my star!

Progress toward workout goal: 17/300
On-plan food points this month: 70

Today was my badminton match against two of my 8th grade students and I’m thrilled to say that I won! I was whupping them soundly at first but after a while they tired me out and were able to climb back into the game. Eventually I beat them 21-17 and was dripping w/sweat. I honestly was sweatier after the 30 minute match than I was when I went to the gym and worked out for 90 minutes. I can’t wait until school tomorrow when the kids have to admit that a 35 year old, overweight woman kicked their butts. And yes, I played them 2 on 1. I love little victories like this

Workouts today have been awesome. I got up and did my CE and abs workout. During school was badminton and after school I did cardio at the gym for a little over 90 minutes for a total of 2 1/2 hours. Food has been good, too, which is a good thing b/c the last 2 days haven’t been the greatest. Not the worst but it could have been better.

I may begin to eat my high-protein breakfast every day instead of just the days I lift in the morning. A regular breakfast is a serving of Fiber One cereal w/milk, 2 hb eggs and yogurt. On these days I drink a protein shake, have 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, 2 hb eggs and yogurt. I stayed so full all morning that I actually skipped one of my snacks. It’s still healthy, low in calories, high in protein and calcium and keeps me full. I’ll have to keep playing w/it.

Nine days of school left w/kids, single digits! It’s so much easier to handle when the days are in single digits. I really don’t know how people work all year w/just a few weeks for vacation. Granted, we teachers put up w/a ton of crap but it’s nice to have a definite start and stop to the year. If it’s a bad year you know it will end and then you’ll have time to recharge. And if it’s a good year, summer is still better

Progress toward workout goal: 16/300
On-plan food points: 60

Believe it or not, I’m going to take a day off from exercise. It’s officially my rest day in my workout program but I usually do extra cardio or pilates. Yesterday, though, my throat started to hurt and this morning it’s worse. Plus, I can’t remember the last time I took an entire day off from exercise so my body could probably use a break.

Meg asked a question about Chalean Extreme (sorry, I’m sure you’re all getting sick reading that name. From now on I’ll call it “CE”) Anyway, it is kind of expensive but even in the short 6 weeks that I have owned it the price has gone down. If you’re thinking of buying it check out ebay. Also, here’s a link to a website I read thoroughly before I bought the program. It explains all of the weight training exercises in detail so you’d know exactly what you’re doing.

http://www.extremely-fit.com/fitness-tips/topics/chalean-extreme-reviews/

Got to go take care of some kids! Maybe it won’t be a rest day

Progress toward workout goal: 15/30
On-plan points earned: 55

I guess that since I have been taking care of my muscles lately that they’re taking care of me. My arm isn’t sore at all!!! (See yesterday’s post if you have no idea what I’m talking about). I fell into bed about 10 last night and woke up at 5 this morning but refused to get out of bed. Surprisingly, I slept until almost 7, it felt great. I love waking up when the sun is shining and the house is quiet. I did my Sunday Chalean Extreme workout, the start of week 2 in the 2nd month. It’s hard to believe that at the end of this week I’ll be halfway through the program. I’m so glad that I decided to start the program when I got it instead of waiting until summer when there would be more time. There is going to be such a transformation in my body over the summer that I can’t wait (almost) for the new school year to start. I still haven’t heard anything about the job I interviewed for on the 16th but until I hear that someone else was offered the position I’m going to assume that I will get it.

I almost didn’t get on the scale this morning b/c I was so happy w/what I saw yesterday (226.0) that I didn’t want to take away that memory. But I did so good w/eating and obviously exercise yesterday that I figured the response would be good. Yes it was! Weight is 225.5 and body fat is 39.8%!! I can’t tell you the last time my body fat percentage was in the 30’s and 225 is exciting b/c it means I’m almost closer to 200 than 250. After the start to the week that I had I’m so pleased at any progress, let alone 2 pounds!

Today is going to be more work around the house until the kids come home. I just called my mom and Kyle is fever free (yay!!) so we may have a few more hours to work. Speaking of work, I had better get to it.

Progress toward workout goal: 15/300
On-plan food points: 50

I’m curious to see how my arm feels tomorrow. Today was spent working on projects to get our house ready to put on the market. It’s almost 9 pm and I’m just sitting down for the first time. My poor hubby, though, has worked 3 hours longer than I have. I left at 9 am to take the kids to my parents’ house but since they live an hour away the round trip was 3 hours. (The extra hour not driving was spent unloading the van, going over schedules and just chatting, just in case you were confused.)

The reason my right arm might protest tomorrow is one of my tasks was to paint our bathroom ceilings. I don’t generally mind painting but I have never painted a ceiling before. Ouch.

OK, somehow I just deleted about half of what I wrote. Basically, the time I spent painting I’m counting toward my stars b/c my arm burned worse than it generally does when I’m lifting weights, and I was soaked w/sweat when I was done. I also did pilates when I woke up this morning (I know, what was I thinking????) for a total of 2 hours and 10 minutes. Too bad we can’t earn 1/6th of a star

Food has been good today and I’m really proud of this b/c my schedule wasn’t normal. Plus, I ran to get fast food TWICE for my hubby today and didn’t partake. Normally I would never condone fast food twice in one day but he worked his butt off sanding, stripping and restaining our windowframes. He earned those onion rings.

Tomorrow it’s more of the same, depending on how Kyle’s fever does. He spiked one tonight at my parents’ but the tylenol/motrin rotation is taking care of it. There are 2 main tasks we hope to accomplish before I have to get the kids and if we get them done early enough we’re going out to lunch.

Progress toward workout goal: 14/300
On-plan food points earned: 40

Forgive the poor grammar but basically I need to remind myself of the things that have worked during my weight loss journey. I’m struggling right now w/food choices and with the long weekend coming up and a crazy schedule I’m overwhelmed with all of the dangers coming my way. Knowing this, I’m going to focus on short periods of time instead of trying to create a plan for the whole weekend. I’m also going to read blogs when I’m feeling weak and keep a book about someone who lost over 200 pounds nearby. I added an extra snack this afternoon (watermelon and yogurt, so I’m ok w/that) and will brush my teeth after supper so that I don’t snack this evening. I will do this.

Workouts today have been awesome. I skipped the scheduled Chalean Extreme workout b/c it’s tons of plyometrics and my knee was still sore this morning so I did the 20 minute TJ and 10 minutes of abs before school. After school I went to the gym and put in 90 minutes and during the day I was able to add an hour of running. We played a game in all 6 of my classes, sort of a high-speed version of musical chairs. I was running, lunging, twisting and turning for at least 10 minutes of every class period. The kids were amazed that their teacher was playing a game like this w/them and that I was kicking their butts! I love surprising them like that.

Got to go, Kyle’s running a fever and kind of whimpering. Hope it’s nothing major, the boys are supposed to go to my parents for the weekend so my hubby and I can get a bunch of work done around the house. We had to cancel this the last time b/c Kyle got sick.

Progress toward workout goal: 13/300
Food points earned: 30

This new food plan is working well so I’m cautiously optimistic that I have found my mojo. I think just removing the stress of having to stay 100% perfect to make any progress toward my goal has allowed me to focus on making healthy choices instead of eating crap after making 1 bad choice b/c I’ll be “perfect” the next day. I’m still thinking about where to set my goal for daily stars and a total amount of points; I don’t want to put it so low that I’m not going to lose weight but also not so high that I’m back to the all-or-nothing situation I was in before. I’ll have to keep thinking about that one.

I hopped on the scale this morning for the first time in 1 1/2 weeks and was surprised to see that I have lost 1/2 pound. Normally nothing to be excited about but considering all of the crap I have put in my mouth it’s a huge victory. I was planning to use a bad number (I honestly expected to be back in the 230’s) to serve as motivation but the 227.5 worked even better for motivation! We’re going to be so busy this weekend on sanding/varnishing windows, stripping/painting door trim, painting, etc. that I’ll probably forget to eat and obviously burn a ton of calories. I would LOVE to see 225 or lower but know that’s probably a bit unrealistic. I’ll just focus on my behavior and let the scale take care of itself.

School today was fun and I had a great day w/my 6th period class. They’re the group that had to do worksheets for about 3 days b/c they couldn’t handle anything less structured and they have specific procedures that they have to follow. I monitor their behavior as a group and every 5 minutes they have a chance to earn a point. They decided to set a goal of 150 points by the end of the year and if they meet it we’ll go outside and play kickball one day instead of having class. Normally I am 100% against a token economy but I finally realized that w/select populations of kids they need it. This group isn’t a bunch of bad kids, they’re a bunch of kids who have never been properly taught how to behave in class, how to resolve conflict and how to work hard for the sake of working hard. Beyond some of the behavior issues a majority of them are of lower ability which often leads to frustration in school. Today we played a game to learn vocabulary and we had an odd number so I played against a student, meaning that I was not constantly supervising them. We played for over 15 minutes and there wasn’t a single problem. The kids were on task, they were laughing and they were learning. This is what school should be like.

I had to modify my workout a little bit b/c I’m feeling a twinge in my knee. My Thursday workout has a lot of squats and lunges along w/shoulder work so I didn’t go as deep into the leg work which seemed to help. Afterward I did TJ Cardio party (again, modifying some of the knee work) and then spent a good 10 minutes stretching everything out afterward. Even though I stink like a pig I love how I feel.

One more day of school until the weekend, hopefully I’ll hear about the guidance job tomorrow. Have I mentioned that I’m not a very patient person?

Progress toward workout goal: 12/300
Food points earned: 20