It’s all up to me

I was cutting the grass after school today and realized how much easier it is than it was a year ago. I have mentioned before that our yard is hilly and we have a heavy mower. I’m constantly pushing a mower up hills and then having to control it as I come down. I noticed today that as I was going up a hill that it felt like I was barely pushing anything. The consistent weight training has definitely paid off. Plus, I’m about 40 pounds lighter than I was last year, and as much as I would like to lose more than 40 pounds in a year I realize it’s definitely something to celebrate.

It also got me thinking about where I’ll be a year from now. Even if I only lose 40 pounds this year, I’ll be in the 180’s! Imagine, the 180’s. Plus, we should be in our new house. Right after school we went to the bank and officially got approved for our construction loan. Our goal for the weekend is to decide once and for all where we’re going to build and then to get started.

School went very well today and it was nice to leave w/o being tired and frustrated. Days like this make me remember why I became a teacher.

Before school I did my Chalene weights workout and including the lawnmowing after school I got in 90 minutes today.

Does worrying about Swine Flu count as exercise???? There are 2 probable cases in our state, 1 about 30 miles away. I’m worried for all of us but especially for Kyle since his immune system is compromised anyway. I’m trying to stay away from the news about it b/c that always makes it seem worse than it is. My hubby, unfortunately, is a news junkie so it’s always around at our house.

Wow, nothing like random ideas. Here’s one more. I can’t say if the protein shakes are working but I can say they haven’t had any side effects. I’m going to give it a couple of weeks and monitor my body fat percentages. I was looking at old stats and realize that I have dropped 10% body fat (from 50.7 to 40.4%) and also dropped 10 BMI points. It’s nice to see changes like this.

Days on track this month: 22
Progress toward workout goal: 241/250

I am mentally drained which is the reason for my fantastically creative title

The day went well and the kids enjoyed the speaker. They were attentive and asked lots of questions, exactly what I expect. Even though I enjoy hearing her story it’s hard to sit and listen to someone else tell their story 6 times in a row. Then we had a 3 hour meeting after school (kids got out at 12:30) and I’m whupped. Why do I get up at 4:00????

Did my Chalene workout at 4 this morning for an hour. I like this workout b/c it’s cardio alternating w/light weights and a ton of reps. It’s not as intense as the heavy lifting but I actually think it’s harder.

The protein shake I use is called Whey Protein by Body Fortress. I bought it at WalMart a year or so ago (don’t worry, I checked the expiration date!). One scoop, when added to water, is 120 calories and adds 23g of protein. It’s quite sweet but you only have to mix it w/6-8 ounces of water so I just chug it down.

Days on plan this month: 21
Progress toward workout goal: 240/250

I have found a way to add more protein w/o adding extra calories. On the days when I do heavy lifting in the morning I’m going to trade the cereal part of my breakfast w/a protein shake and 1/2 c of cottage cheese. The calories are the same and it adds a lot of protein. I’ll be curious if it helps me to avoid hitting the “wall” this week.

Today at school was a bit better but my 2 afternoon classes each had a kid that wasn’t “receptive” to my message. Normally stuff like this doesn’t bother me, I have really learned not to take kids’ reactions personally. And in all honesty the majority of the kids looked like dogs w/their tails b/t their legs when they realized how upset I was. But I think the uncertainty w/my own job for next year is getting to me. They have to decide by Thursday if my position is being cut which will then determine where I’ll be. The applications close today for the 1 guidance position that I REALLY want but I’m not holding my breath. Then I have to decide if I’m going to take the HS Spanish position that has essentially been offered to me or risk it for a different guidance position that I might get. Oh yeah, we also found out we can’t build where we were going to b/c the lots aren’t wide enough and we absolutely have to have a 3-car garage b/c of the wheelchair van. We still have options but we’re going to need to move quickly. We go to the bank on Thursday so hopefully once we have been approved (keep your fingers crossed!!) we’ll be buying a lot in the next few days.

Workout today was a lifting DVD in my program before school and an hour of treadclimber/elliptical after school.

Days on plan this month: 20
Progress toward workout goal: 239/250

Today was one of those days that I wonder why I teach. I walked into the building in a great mood. Not only did my hubby have a job but it’s going to be an easy 3 days. On Wednesday I have a woman coming to speak who was born in East Germany and who escaped w/her family when she was a child. Her story is fascinating, you could honestly make a movie from her life story. B/c most of the kids don’t know much about the cold war I have them research info 2 days prior to her visit (today) and then we watch a video about the Berlin Wall the day before (tomorrow). It’s really interesting stuff, especially since they get to learn about espionage, secret police, etc.

For whatever reason the kids weren’t into it. After the 1st 2 classes went poorly I double checked that I wasn’t grouchy b/c I generally don’t have bad days at school. But the hits just kept on coming. I had to remove one student from class, something that I rarely do. He acted up so much w/the principal that he’s suspended for the next 3 days. What should have been a fun, easy day turned into quite possibly the worst day of school this year. Tomorrow, before we watch our video, they’re getting their butts chewed. I am very seriously considering cancelling our speaker b/c if they can’t be bothered to take 40 minutes to learn a bit about the history of her country she doesn’t need to waste her time talking to them. The amount of respect and attention they show tomorrow will determine if they get to hear their story. I so hope that they make the proper choice b/c her story is so interesting and they will learn a lot.

The good news, though, was that all I could think of was getting to the gym after school and pounding the cardio equipment. I did 30 minutes of pilates early this morning (Kyle likes to get up REALLY early on Mondays) and then 90 minutes of treadclimber/elliptical after school. I’m only going to be able to go to the gym Tuesday and Friday this week so I really need to get as much cardio as I can while I’m there. I have to workout before school the other days.

Hope you’re all doing well, going to take a few minutes to check in.

Days on plan this month: 19
Progress toward workout goal: 238/250

My hubby found out last night that he got the job! The principal had told him that he wanted to have things wrapped up by 3:30 on Friday afternoon so when we didn’t hear anything we figured that they went w/someone else and they’re waiting to turn him down until the other guy officially accepted. Last night around 8:00 the phone rang and it was the principal. They were having a school play and he was in his office when he realized that he hadn’t called Steve on Friday. School had been crazy that day and it just slipped his mind. We’re so relieved. Even though I knew he would get a job it’s nice to know exactly where he’ll be and what he’ll be doing. It also helps us decide on where to build. I’m 99% sure that we’ll build in the small town just west of where we live now. It will be in my hubby’s school district and it will allow our older son to spend less time in before school daycare. We were already leaning toward building there (plus, it will be atleast 10K cheaper) but I think this seals the deal.

I hung in there yesterday w/food even though emotionally I was a wreck. I watched a movie that was strange to say the least and I ended up sobbing for a good 15 minutes straight. Logically I can assume that all the stress and pressure of the last couple of weeks caught up to me but the cry didn’t make me feel better, I felt down the rest of the day. But magically, when that phone call came, I felt better.

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On a different note, delita, I think you’re right that I hit a wall. I know I get enough water but I’m guessing that I’m low on protein. The new program I started last week is heavy on weight training and my regular diet might not be enough to rebuild the muscle. Anyone have any good tips for adding protein w/o a lot of extra calories? I have 2 hardboiled eggs for breakfast and 2-3 containers of yogurt every day. I generally have cottage cheese w/supper and an Atkins drink or cheese sticks for one of my snacks throughout the day, both high in protein. I considered adding some peanut butter but it’s a trigger food for me (another thing I think you were right about, I dabbled in chocolate all week) so I don’t want to add it as a regular part of my diet, at least not yet. Are there any supplements that add protein? Any info would be appreciated.

Finished slumpbusters but I might take a break from it, or if I join this week I’m not going to allow myself the option of adding extra exercise in exchange for a poor day of eating. Completing the minutes isn’t a problem for me, I’m generally well over the required amount. Since I know that I think I was too relaxed in my eating choices. Earning the stars in Eileen’s challenge accomplishes the same goal and I think that one more thing to worry about isn’t helpful.

Days on plan this month: 19
Progress toward workout goal: 237/250
Slumpbusters: water = good
Days on plan: 6/6 (b/c of extra exercise, otherwise I’d be 5/6) done!
Workout minutes: 455/250 (done!!)

…literally and figuratively.

The stress of this week finally caught up w/me. I think the problems yesterday started w/my morning workout. I finished my 1st week of the Chalean Extreme program and I have to say that this is the first workout that I haven’t loved. It was more cardio-based, very intense w/plyometrics. I know that these will help me greatly but at 228 pounds springing up from a football stance isn’t a strength of mine. After I finished this workout the 2nd one that was scheduled was for stretching and I was looking forward to it but I really hated it. I can’t explain why, I just didn’t like it. So next week I’m going to stick with the plyometric one and then add in a short TJ workout after that. I’m not going to skip the stretching, but since I always do yoga/pilates on Saturday mornings (a schedule rest day for the program) I’ll get my stretching there.

School went well yesterday but I was on edge all day b/c my hubby was supposed to find out if he got the job he had interviewed for by 3:30. It’s almost 7 am on Saturday and we still haven’t gotten a phone call. I’m guessing it’s not good news but it’s very difficult not knowing. Now I’m guessing we’ll have to wait until at least Monday to know for sure.

Last night we had the opportunity to go out but it wasn’t as joyous as it should have been b/c we had been planning on it being a celebratory dinner. We still tried to make the best of it and it was fantastic to have time to just spend w/each other. It was gorgeous here yesterday, 80 and sunny, so we chose a restaurant on the river that had an outdoor deck. I actually have a tiny tan line from my shirt and sunglasses b/c it was so nice. I had planned on ordering seafood, knowing it would be healthy, but all of the seafood options were breaded and deep fried. I picked the next-healthiest option, a grilled sirloin and instead of a potato and added extra veggies. For some reason, though, I was still hungry after I finished my meal. Not just, “hmm, a little something would be nice” but I think I honestly could have eaten another steak. It could have something to do w/the fact that I’m doing much more intense strength training but for whatever reason I was hungry. That’s where the trouble started. I’m not going to list what I ate b/c I don’t want to plant ideas in your head if you have been sticking to your eating plan but I almost doubled my calories for the day in the 2 hours before bed.

If you have hung in there reading this long post I ask you to read a bit further b/c I’m really stressing over where we’re going to build. We’re still considering the place where the one lot had garbage if and only if they’ll sign a clause that nothing but dirt will be found in our lot. We’ll have over an acre and the area is really nice. The other option we’re considering is about 2 miles away from there in a bedroom community from our current town. It’s in town but the lots are a bit bigger than a standard city lot. The reason this is really appealing to us is that there are a ton of boys the same age as our older son who live in this little neighborhood. I know 2 families that live out there and they said that the neighbors are really nice and look out for everybody’s kids. As much as I want some land (and I do know that there are little boys in the other neighborhood, too, just not as many) it is extremely important to us that there be little boys for Justin to play w/since we’re often unavailable to play b/c of Kyle. I would definitely say that we’re leaning toward the in-town, more-kids option but I just worry that as I drive by the other neighborhood EVERY DAY when I come home from school that I’ll regret our decision. If any of you have input on this dilemma I’d really appreciate your opinions.

My goal for today is to not let yesterday’s gluttony become a 3-day bender. I woke up this morning w/cotton mouth like I would get in college when I was hungover. So I’m going to be pounding the water and eating according to my regular schedule. I’m going to keep looking at my new muscles and yes, I can see changes already after only completing the 1st week of Chalean Extreme. If you like to lift weights I completely recommend this program. It’s tough but SO worth it. I can only imagine how I’m going to look on day 90!

Days on plan this month: 18
Progress toward workout goal: 236/250
Slumpbusters: water = good
Days on plan: 5/6 (b/c of extra exercise, otherwise I’d be 4/6)
Workout minutes: 4250/250 (done!!)

11:15
Kyle is sick again. Started running a low-grade fever last night but this morning it was up to 102.4. Since it’s so early in the illness they couldn’t tell me if it was strep, pneumonia, bronchitis etc, but I did get an antibiotic so I’m happy. He fell asleep basically right when we got home so I was able to do the TJ Cardio Party and play on the WiiFit for a while. I know I have a million things around the house that I should do but for now Kyle is sleeping and I’m the only one at home so I’m just going to sit. Shh, don’t tell anyone

That is the description of my life right now. Hubby had his 2nd interview and it went well, he said they’d make their decision by 3:30 tomorrow. If he gets that job I think it will decide where we build so it will be nice to have a few decisions made. We have basically decided to avoid the subdivision where there have been concerns…I don’t want to have to worry if problems will pop up when we least expect them. This new subdivison is actually in the district where my hubby would be teaching and would allow our older son to sleep later in the morning and spend less time in before-school daycare. Plus, I know 2 families that live on the street where we’re looking and they both have boys the same age as Justin. She said it’s really safe and that everyone looks out for each others’ kids, exactly what we want.

Found out that my job will probably be eliminated this year but don’t worry, I know I will have a job somewhere. I’m still hoping for the guidance position but a friend of mine from the HS called and said that there will be a HS Spanish job open there and that the dept. chair specifically asked her to call me and tell me about it. All of this should be wrapped up in the next couple of weeks but I think until then it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I honestly think I woke up at least 10 times last night b/c my brain wouldn’t shut off. I’m hoping that I’ll be tired enough tonight that I’ll sleep well.

Did another workout in the Chalean Extreme series before school and although it was short (35 minutes) I think it was the hardest so far. I have never done so many squats and lunges and generally w/25 pound weights. Plus, you’re moving so slowly that it feels like they’re 50 pounds. But I love how strong I feel afterward and I even love the sweat dripping off the end of my nose. After school I mowed the grass which is another killer leg workout b/c we have some serious hills in our yard.

Days on plan this month: 17
Progress toward workout goal: 234/250
Slumpbusters: water = good
Days on plan: 3/6
Workout minutes: 270/250 (done!!)

Today has been better than yesterday, at least as far as stress is concerned. Got up at 4:00, did my workout and went to school. After school I went shopping again and found a few more options for my assumed interview. Talked to the HR guy in another meeting today and he said it would probably be 2 weeks before they actually do interviews which is actually good b/c one suit and a different jacket that I bought are snug. They would do but a couple more weeks will make them look better.

Went to eat supper and the Lean Cuisine meal that I heated up tasted like complete a$$. I was smart enough to throw it away instead of eating it so I went to look for something else to eat. I figured I’d eat a pb sandwich, especially since Wednesday is a high calorie day for me. Out of bread. Everything I looked for we didn’t have. So I grabbed a handful of M & M’s. Technically I’m still ok w/my food b/c I’m in my calorie range but it’s not a healthy choice. Right after I get off the internet I’m going to brush my teeth so that I’m not tempted to eat anything else.

Days on plan this month: 16
Progress toward workout goal: 233/250
Slumpbusters: water = good
Days on plan: 2/6
Workout minutes: 210/250

I can’t wait until it’s time to go to bed and call it a day. Everything started out well, I got up at 4:20 and did day 3 of Chalean Extreme. Still loving it!! Then the trouble started. I spent most of the morning trying to figure out how to improve one of my classes. I had been warned all year about this group and for the most part they have lived up to their reputation. But there are glimpses of responsibility and maturity which is actually more frustrating. So I decided to devote today’s class to each child examining what they’re doing well, where they could improve and setting goals for the rest of the school year. About 1/3 of the kids took the activity to heart and so I’m going to focus my thoughts on those kids but several kids missed the point entirely. I’m going to sleep on it and re-read their sheets tomorrow so I’m fresh but I think I’m going to pull each kid in on their own and talk with them. A few of the “good” kids need to hear that I appreciate all that they do and some of the more challenging kids need a wake-up call.

Another issue was that I found out the place where we were ready to buy a lot has basically filled up some low spots with garbage and then covered the garbage w/dirt so it looks like it’s full. I don’t know how widespread it is but we will definitely be asking questions. My hubby has always said that the family who owns the land is short on morality and I guess he’s right.

Then my hubby’s sister called looking for her car title. For those of you who have been reading for a while this is the SIL who owes us about $6K and decided not to pay. We paid her car payment for the last few years (long story) and finally paid it off a few months ago. Now she wants the title, yet she can never call us back when our son calls her or even acknowledge that she owes us any money.

With all of that I lost it and yelled at a few kids in the hallway. I mean yelled. This only happens once or twice a year but it shouldn’t happen. I’m the adult, kids will be kids, and the only reason these kids are ALWAYS in the hallway is b/c their teacher doesn’t expect them to arrive on time. I would rather talk to my friends and jack around at my locker, too. I’m not saying the kids don’t share the responsibility but if the teacher doesn’t enforce the expectation it’s not realistic that the kids will comply.

Oh well, I’m home now and finally starting to decompress. After school I hit the gym and boy did the treadclimber and elliptical take a beating. My morning workout took 40 minutes and I got in the other 80 this afternoon for a total of 2 hrs. Yay!

Days on plan this month: 15
Progress toward workout goal: 232/250
Slumpbusters: water = good
Days on plan: 1/6
Workout minutes: 150/250

I had a bit of time after my meeting today so I went shopping for an interview suit. No, I don’t have an interview yet but I’m 99% certain that I’ll at least get an interview and I have to take my opportunitites to shop when I can get them. I tried on a few suits and each of them were wrong for different reasons. I’m basically too fat for the regular stores but too small for the plus size stores. Normally I’d be excited about this b/c I haven’t shopped in regular stores for years but it’s no consolation when you need a suit. I did buy one that was decent but when I got it home and tried it on again I realized that it looked like a gray sack. I could just hear Stacey and Clinton chirping in my ear to find something with more of a waist. Grrrr.

I think my blogging and commenting is going to diminish, at least until the end of the school year. When I have 5 minutes here or there at school I’d generally log on and read an entry or two but they are really watching our internet usage. No problem, I should be using the school’s resources for school work but sometimes you just need a quick break or bit of motivation. So to all of my girlfriends out there, if you don’t hear a lot from me over the next 7 weeks you’ll know why.

Today has gone well but I’m tired and hungry right now. I got up to do a pilates DVD b/c I had a meeting after school and Kyle woke up early. He seems to be doing that a lot on Mondays. School went well but my 6th period class is a challenge and today wasn’t a good day. I really need to figure out a way to reach them so that we consistently have good days instead of me counting down the minutes until the bell rings and counting the days until summer vacation (35, in case you wanted to know).

For the slumpbusters challenge, the thing I’m doing for myself this week is taking the time to put on lotion after I get out of the shower. It probably sounds like no big deal to most of you but to me it’s the most decadent couple of minutes. Plus, when I touch my arm throughout the day and it doesn’t feel like sandpaper it reminds me that I’m doing good things for myself.

Days on plan this month: 14 (yesterday was Sunday and I definitely ate off-plan)
Progress toward workout goal: 231/250
Slumpbusters: water = good
Days on plan: 0/6 (Monday isn’t over yet)
Workout minutes: 30/250