Naps

Posted March 21, 2009

Today hasn’t been a good day.  I stayed on-plan yesterday and even though I knew I wouldn’t lose weight this week I figured I would drop at least .5 pounds from yesterday so I hopped on the scale for a morale booster.  Up a pound.  Determined to not let this derail my day I started my Saturday w/the traditional pilates/weights workout.  I really wasn’t into it but held on long enough for a 30 minute workout.  Trying to bolster my spirits I weighed myself again, knowing that exercise generally gives me a fake, immediate loss.  Up another pound@!

I gave up.  My life right now feels like it’s spiraling out of control and there isn’t really anything that is going well.  I can’t believe how much I’m complaining right now b/c it really isn’t all that bad, it’s just that I have been so stressed for so long and it’s finally catching up w/me.  Kyle started sneezing yesterday and it continued this morning, along w/a nasty cough.  Even though he’s on 2 anti-virals and an antibiotic I took him back into the doctor.  They repeated a chest x-ray to see if his pneumonia had gotten worse and she said that everything looks fine, he just most likely has a cold on top of everything else.  In reality this is good news but it’s like “Great, one more damn thing to have to deal with.”

We haven’t heard anything about my hubby’s interview yet and the guy said not to expect anything until late next week so my hubby typed up a few thank you notes to send.  Our printer died.  No problem, he ran over to his mom’s.  Her printer is out of ink.  Once we got it figured out we realized the only stamps we had in the house were Disney.  Nothing screams “hire me” like Cinderella or Daffy Duck on a stamp.

It’s just this chronic, little stuff that’s wearing me down and making it difficult for me to handle the bigger things.  Generally when one part of my life is in the crapper the other parts make up for it but right now I’m not enjoying my new students, very frustrated w/my boss, we’re trying to decide if we are going to build a new house, the bank is messing w/our credit, the list goes on and on.  And of course, the sexless streak continues even though we had a chance this morning.  Plus, I realized that 2 weeks ago when I told my hubby I was feeling a bit discouraged and would appreciate a compliment when I was looking nice and haven’t heard anything.  Nada.  Zip.  He really is a great guy but he’s not used to me being needy like this and isn’t responding well.

So what does my title “naps” have to do w/anything?  Kyle fell asleep this afternoon and we all took naps.  I don’t feel great but I feel so much better.  I’m not going to let the  mini-binge from this afternoon set me up for the rest of the night, I have the strength to hang on for 4 more hours until bedtime.  I have also decided to make an appointment w/my therapist if my ability to handle my life doesn’t improve.  I know that I have a lot on my plate and most of it is out of my control, but this is the reality of my life and it isn’t going to go away any time soon.

Thanks for listening, sorry for being such a grouch.

Days on plan this month:  15

Progress toward workout goal:  203/250

6 Comments so far

  1. gottaloose4 on March 21st, 2009

    :( sorry things have been so hard, can’t really say much to make you feel better, other than the fact that it’s very good that your son is hangin in there, that you guys have insurance to pay for his care and that your hubby did get an interview. :) much better than some other ppl i’ve been speaking to. like myself, i dont have insurance and neither does the hubby (i pray for our protection everyday) and others. i dont need to say because i know you know already, its just hard to deal. but hey you’re doing much better than i normally do. when things like that just continue to pile up it’s easy to let yourself go and your routines go, so i’m glad to hear that you’re still incorporating your exercises (even if you weren’t really feeling it) and you’re conscious food decisions. hang in there doll things will start lookin up soon. i’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.

    http://3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/gottaloose4/

  2. patty on March 22nd, 2009

    Hey, Brandie! I’ve been swamped lately and haven’t had much time to catch up but it looks like you’re having a run of frustration these last few days. You’re such an inspiration to so many people and it’s unusual to hear that you’ve been feeling depressed and frustrated for so many days.

    Hang in there, girlfriend, it’s gotta get better. Although, I have to admit, there’s nothing that can enrage me more than dealing with red tape from banks, the medical establishment, and bureaucracy!
    Sending you energy and positive vibes!

  3. irisheyes213 on March 22nd, 2009

    It can be really hard to focus on this journey when things are running amuck. I hope that your son starts feeling better soon and that other things start to settle down.

    Take care of you…

  4. delitaagain on March 22nd, 2009

    brseay, I hear ya! And yet, you are still here and still realizing what is important, what you need to be doing, etc. And, spring is coming! Hang in. Things will smooth out again. Delita

  5. inkheartmeg on March 22nd, 2009

    It’s like a tide that comes and goes and sometimes it washes over your nice little sand castle. There’s really not much you can do, you have no control over most of it. Hang in there and let time pass as the pieces fall into place.

    Thinking of you and yours, take care.

  6. Joy on March 23rd, 2009

    I agree with sistah Pat and with meg as well. The only things that I can say are
    ~You are a great person, and wonderful mom, and a gifted teacher.
    ~It sucks when life sucks so much out of us but as trite as it sounds “This will pass”
    ~You inspire me so much
    last?
    )))HUGS((((
    You take care
    Joy

    ps I hope that Kyle feels better soon

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