It’s all up to me

I don’t know why but I have been allowing myself to get irritated by others’ actions lately.  This used to be a huge problem of mine but then I realized that I can’t control their behavior so I shouldn’t let it bother me.  For some reason I’m falling back into my old patterns.  Today, for example, I was supposed to have a meeting after school.  It had been scheduled since October, so I got up at 4:15 to workout since I wouldn’t be able to after school.  Then, halfway through the day all of us on the committee get an email asking if we could move it to tomorrow b/c so many people in the group scheduled a different meeting.  Come on people, plan ahead!  I have to go to the same meetings they do but I just chose sessions that didn’t conflict w/my prior committments.  I did tell them that I’m busy tomorrow b/c I’m going to the gym.  OK, let it go, let it go, let it go.  I am much happier when I don’t let others’ behavior bother me so I need to get back to that place.

Food has been ok today, just not great.  Wednesdays are the days when I eat about 200 more calories on my zig-zag pattern and it got me into a tiny bit of trouble.  Since I didn’t have my meeting after school I ran a few errands before I picked up my son and then we went to one more store.  He hadn’t had his snack yet and they sell the best pretzels around.  I had no intention of eating any but then I remembered that it was a high calorie day so I took a nibble.  Then another nibble.  Then a bite.  I don’t know exactly how many calories it had but as long as I stick to my regular plan for the evening I’m going to consider it an on-plan day.

Days on plan this month:  14

Progress toward workout goal:  163/250

Ooh, I almost forgot.  I met the 1st clothing goal that I set a while back.  I had wanted to fit into a certain pair of jeans by MLK Day and I did!  The next challenge is to fit into a pair of size 16 jeans by my birthday in 2 1/2 weeks.  See why I had to say that I was busy tomorrow?  My butt needs to shrink so I can get it into those jeans

I got home from the gym tonight and I was picking up some bags to put them away when I heard a small thumping sound.  I couldn’t figure out what it was but I knew that something had fallen into my bag.  Then I looked and my wedding ring was missing.  My ring literally fell off of my finger!  I honestly don’t know how it happened b/c I’m about the weight/size I was when we got engaged so my finger can’t be that much smaller.  But I can wear it on my middle finger if I want to so I guess my fingers have gotten smaller.  I wonder what’s going to happen after I lose the rest of this weight?

Everything else is pretty normal.  We were finally back to school today and I realized that in the last month we have only been at school 7 days and 2 of them were early out/late arrivals due to snow.  I did kind of grumble when the alarm went off this morning b/c it has been a while since I have had to wake up to an alarm.  But I hope we can get back into some sort of a routine.

It was neat to watch the inauguration today.  I know not everyone is a fan of Obama but you have to admit that he had energized the country.  It was amazing to hear middle school kids speak intelligently about our government and how it works.  Plus, I noticed at the gym this afternoon that every single tv was tuned to the news and watching the procession to the White House.  I wasn’t alive when JFK was in office but I imagine that this excitement is how people felt during his years.  I just hope that this president doesn’t meet the same end.

Days on plan this month:  13

Progress toward workout goal:  162/250

I can’t believe that I’m happy that it’s Monday but after the damage I did yesterday I’m glad for the week.  I was able to minimize the damage, though, b/c I changed my plans for the week so that yesterday could be my high calorie day.  I’m still not counting it as a day on plan, though, b/c I ate WAY more than the 2350 calories I’m allotted on a high day.  Initially I was going to stay on-plan yesterday b/c we were supposed to go out of town today and go out to lunch but w/Kyle being in the hospital over the weekend and the weather being questionable I decided to cancel our trip.  Now I am able to have a regular day today so I feel much more in control.  I didn’t weigh myself this morning b/c I knew it would not be accurate so I’ll wait until next week to see what I have lost.

Food for today is actually not enough b/c I have been so busy.  My hubby let me sleep in since I didn’t get much sleep in the hospital so I ate my breakfast at 8:30 instead of the normal 6:00.  We went out for lunch at 11:30 but I stuck w/the grilled chicken meal that I always get and it’s around 400 calories.  Later I worked out (60 mins treadclimber, 1200 cals) and ran errands so I didn’t get any of my snacks.  At this point I’m at about 1000 calories and I’m supposed to eat 1950.  I know I won’t eat 950 for supper so I’ll just go a bit under today.

Tomorrow is our first day back at school since last Tuesday.  I can’t believe it has been a week.  Even though it’s not warm it’s just normal January weather so hopefully we’ll have a few weeks in a row w/o any major storms, although my hubby says they’re talking about something coming on Friday.  Ugh, can’t it be spring already??

Days on plan this month:  12 (no change)

Progress toward workout goal:  161/250

I haven’t posted for a few days but it’s not b/c I fell off the wagon.  We took my younger son to the doctor yesterday b/c he was running a fever and was quite lethargic and they ended up admitting him.  He did have an ear infection (his usual) but the other symptoms were more worrisome.  We didn’t take him in until around noon so I had already gotten my workout in for Saturday and was eating well.  Fortunately my mom was in town so she came up and sat w/him so I could go home, shower, pack a bag, etc.  And I packed a bunch of healthy snacks and I’m proud to say that I didn’t use this as an excuse to eat.  I honestly didn’t even want to yesterday, today is a bit tougher.  I think it’s b/c I’m so tired and hungry.  We got home about 2:00 this afternoon and all morning I had eaten a cheese stick, an orange, an apple and 2 yogurt/granola bars.  As soon as we got home I ate a few hard boiled eggs and a cup of yogurt.  I was still hungry so I had a sugar free pudding.  My hubby is at the store getting his prescription right now and I asked him to pick up one of those rotisserie chickens, I’ll eat some of that w/veggies and cottage cheese for supper.  I don’t know what the calorie content of everything is but if I stick w/this I’ll consider it a day on plan.

Days on plan this month:  12

Progress toward workout goal:  160/250

Ugh, why do I do this???  I literally shut off the computer, walked to the freezer and began to eat some frosting left over from Christmas that I found buried.  It couldn’t have been 15 seconds after I posted about staying on track while in the hospital.  Then, I ate an uncooked cookie that I found as I moved the frosting.  I did stop myself after about 5 minutes of mindless munching but I feel so stupid.  I know better than to do that.  I even looked at the picture of my goal dress as I was shoveling spoonfulls of frosting into my mouth.  Plus, since I wasn’t home this morning I have to weigh in tomorrow.  I can only imagine what I’ll see after this little feast

Normally my weigh-in day is Sunday and I vowed to hide the scale until then.  But this weight-loss contest that I’m in requires you to weigh-in on Fridays so every week I’ll have to weigh twice.  I considered switching my weigh-in day to Friday but I worry that this will lead to poor choices over the weekend so I’ll stick w/the two times a week until it causes problems.

So imagine my surprise this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw 238.5, 237.5 and 238.0!  Granted, this is a different scale than the one I used last week (it measures body fat so I’m only going to do that weekly, I know, I’m weird) and this scale measures about 1/2 pound lower than my other one, but on Sunday I was 241.6 so that’s anywhere from 2 1/2 to 3 or so pounds gone.  Yippee!!!!  I’m so glad to see these results b/c I had considred relaxing things a bit today b/c we’re probably going to go out to dinner in addition to hitting my friend’s b-day party but now I have figured out how to have fun as well as stick to my plan.  Right now I have things set so that I can have a 700 calorie supper and 2 beers and still stay w/i range.

This morning I did 30 minutes of the Windsor Pilates DVD and I plan to do TJ later.  It’s another snow day so I’m taking advantage of the extra time.  I do have to say that it was nice to sleep until 6, although I’ll be hating it in June.  Oh well, I can’t control it so I’m not going to worry about it.  And it would have been irresponsible to have kids walk to school or wait for the school bus when the wind chill hovered around -50. 

I’ll check back in w/all of you later after I have done my TJ.

Days on plan this month:  10

Progress toward workout goal:  159/250

I did the TJ workout w/the weighted gloves; I had forgotten how much I liked that workout.  Kind of having a bummer w/shoes right now, though.  Asics has discontinued the shoes that I wear and I’m hoping to replace them w/something that is comparable.  I know I could go to the specialty shoe store and have them recommend another shoe but I’m trying to avoid paying $150 for a pair of shoes.  If it comes down to it I will b/c I lived through foot pain last summer and it was awful…as much as I use my feet I need to take care of them.  But if I can find a great pair for $90, that will be better.   Wish me luck!

School has been cancelled today b/c of the cold, I don’t ever remember this happening.  We have delayed for cold but never cancelled.  So I’m trying to forget that we’ll be in school into the 2nd week of June if things don’t shape up and enjoying the day off. 

I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m kind of grouchy about it.  It was my hubby’s night last night to get up w/the baby so I slept in the guest room in the basement.  Initially we had a 2 hour delay so I was going to get up at 6:00 to do my lower body work, then I would to go the gym after school for cardio.  Trying to be thoughtful, I slept downstairs in case everyone was still sleeping at 6:00 when the alarm went off.  Instead, Kyle got up at 4:15 and his bedroom is directly above where I was sleeping.  Saying that my hubby doesn’t like to get up in the middle of the night is the understatement of the year, so he was stomping his feet as he walked and wasn’t quiet when he shut dresser drawers.  I came up to get some water before I worked out and learned that school had been cancelled so I figured it was better to let the big, grouchy bear take a nap so I didn’t have to deal w/his pissiness all day.  I got the baby down for a nap (is it a nap when they go back to sleep at 7am???) and did my lower body workout and 10 minutes of abs.  A couple of hours later my hubby stumbled out of bed and I headed to the gym for my treadclimber time.  For some reason today the 60 minutes just flew by

Tomorrow night we’re going to a friend’s b-day party at a bar and I’m trying to decide if I’m going to limit what I eat to allow 2 beers or just drink diet pop.  I don’t drink much so 2 beers would definitely be enough and the kind I like is only 94 calories so it’s not impossible to cut 200 calories from my intake.  I think I’ll plan on having a few drinks and if for some reason I need to eat those calories then I’ll drink diet pop.

Days on plan this month: 9

Progress toward workout goal:  158/250

Today is a snow day.  We got more snow than was predicted and even though I wished we could have gotten by w/a 2 hour delay at least we had school yesterday.  My poor hubby has had to go outside a couple of times to clear snow and he looks miserable when he comes back in.  I’m curious to see if we’ll have school tomorrow, not due to snow but cold.  The HIGH tomorrow is supposed to be -10.  If nothing else I’m sure we’ll have delays the next 2 days just so kids aren’t waiting at the bus stop in the dark w/a wind chill at 45 degrees below zero.  I hope the buses start.

So in refence to my title, I decided to turn lemons into lemonade.  Generally on Wednesdays I have meetings after school so I get up early and do my yoga/pilates DVD.  I still did that (b/c school wasn’ cancelled yet at 4:30) but since we were home all day I also had a chance to do the upper body portion of the Jackie Warner workout and TJ Cardio Party.  I feel good but I’m pooped.

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I am reading a fantastic book right now that was actually suggested by someone on this website, I’m sorry that I don’t remember who it was.  It’s called “Half-Assed” and it’s by Jennette Fulda.  She started at 372 pounds and lost half of her body weight through healthy eating and exercise.  It doesn’t really provide any tips but don’t we all know by now that eating less, eating better and regular workouts are what you need to do???  What she does provide is a glimpse into the mind of someone who was focused and successful.  There were so many times when I was reading and wanted to have a hi-lighter to mark great passages to share w/you all.  Even more interesting is that she blogged about her journey and talked about how helpful it was to her.  It’s so funny, I literally laugh out loud at times.  And I swear she’s reading my mind at times b/c I have had so many of the same feelings she talks about.  I’m not completely finished w/it yet but I know this is a book that I will turn to for inspiration time and time again.

BTW, was anyone else bawling like a baby when Jerry was kicked off TBL last night?  I was so happy to see that he’s making progress.  The last few minutes where they show what the kicked off member looks like now is my favorite part of the show.

Days on plan this month: 8

Progress toward workout goal:  157/250

It’s cold, ‘nuf said.  And sadly it’s getting colder.  They are predicting -22 for Thursday night and that’s the AIR temperature, not the wind chill.  Again, why do I live in Iowa???

The good news, though, is that we did have school today.  Some sleet came in after the snow so it weighed it down and then when the winds came it didn’t turn into a blizzard.  Instead, we had a 2-hour delay (that they announced last night, yay!)

I signed up for a supportive contest w/my sister and brother.  It’s a competition between teams but we can support each other.  It’s goes for 100 days and every Friday I’ll record my weight and minutes spent being active.  I’m curious to see how this goes b/c this sister in particular is somewhat irritating but she’s a great cheerleader so it should help me.  I’m not sure how it’s going to go w/my brother.  He’s 8 years older than I am and since he was basically out of the house while I was a little kid we aren’t that close.  In addition, his wife is a b*tch.  For example, my grandpa died at their wedding (I swear I’m not making it up) and she was upset b/c the focus was taken away from her as the bride.  I could go on for days about what a skank she is.  Plus, she’s the one person in our family who is constantly thin and she LOVES it.  If that’s not motivation I don’t know what is.  But he has gone up and down in his weight and he is a good person so I hope we can all be successful.

I was worried that my gym schedule was going to be derailed b/c just as I was getting ready to leave school our AP called and asked if I could translate w/a parent.  I’m the only person who speaks Spanish and I often get called to translate.  Fortunately it was a fairly quick call so I still had time to lift lower body and get in 60 minutes on the treadclimber.

Days on plan this month:  7

Progress toward workout goal:  156/250

I hate January.

Apparently Iowa has turned into the land of eternal snowfall.  We got out of school early today b/c a snowstorm is coming, this is the only good thing.  Tonight there is a blizzard warning so we very likely won’t have school tomorrow.  Then, we’re supposed to get another 3-5 inches tomorrow night w/winds again so there is a blizzard watch for Wednesday.  We could very possibly not have school again until Thursday and although it’s nice to sleep in I’ll hate it in June when we’re STILL in school.  Have you ever tried to teach a 13 year-old when he’d rather be fishing??

I have also decided that I hate January b/c the gym is packed.  I went right after school got out early this afternoon, figuring that at 12:45 it would be virtually empty.  I cannot believe how many people were there.  I don’t wish failure onto others but I can’t wait for a couple of weeks to go by so that the gym won’t be so busy.

Today was day 1 of splitting my weight lifting into upper body one day and lower body the next so I had time for cardio every day.  My workout time is my de-stress, meditative time and as I’m lifting there’s this guy who honestly could not get through a sentence w/o saying the f-word.  Seriously, I listened for a while and when he hit 10 sentences in a row I asked him to please say a sentence w/o that word.  He apologized and did stop but I can’t believe that people think that this behavior is acceptable in a public place.  I’m sure he thought I was a huge prude but I don’t understand why this has become acceptable.

The workout was good, though.  I’m curious to see if I’ll be sore tomorrow.  I lifted for 20 minutes and then had to ride the bike for 5 minutes until a treadclimber became available.  I planned to use that for an hour but after 40 minutes my hubby called b/c he had the driveway clear of snow and wanted me to come home before he’d have to shovel again.  That reason was legit, our driveway is honestly at about a 30 degree angle, and it’s a bear to keep clean in the winter.

Food yesterday wasn’t good.  I’m not going to rehash what I ate b/c I don’t want to tempt anyone who is eating healthy food but even for the high calorie day on my calorie cycling it was too much.  Today is a new day, though, and so far I’m on track.

Days on plan this month:  6 (no change)

Progress toward workout goal:  155/250

Sorry for the “Madagascar” reference, I just love that phrase.

I love the 1st week back on plan.  Today is my official weigh-in day and I’m down 9.2 pounds, from 250.8 to 241.6!!!!!  I’m also down 2% body fat so I know that some of the pounds lost was actual fat, not just water weight.  I’m so glad now that I didn’t sneak a peak earlier in the week and saved the good feeling for today.  I know that this pace won’t continue but it’s nice to have a jump start like this.

I’m also noticing a change in my mindset.  Sunday is my highest calorie day on the calorie cycle and what I have decided to do is just eat normally until after lunch and then I can either have a snack and supper of my choice or supper and dessert.  I might go a bit over the 2350 calories I’m allotted but I’ll do this until it doesn’t work.  Considering that for a while my Sunday indulgence started at the crack of dawn and didn’t stop until bedtime this is an improvement.

So today we’re having people over for football and what I will consider being “on-plan” is if I limit myself to 1 plate of taco salad (sounds like it could be healthy but it’s definitely not) and 1 small piece of dessert.  I always make the desserts and even though it’s fattening I switched to making an 8 x 8 pan instead of a 9 x 13.  There are only 4 adults for heaven’s sake, we don’t need a huge pan.  That way I’ll eat a smaller piece to begin with and not be tempted by leftovers all week.

Today I kicked my butt working out but it feels good.  I did a tough lower body workout w/my new 15 pound weights.  My elbows were sweating, I didn’t know they could sweat.  And then I did TJ Cardio Party.  Now I need to shower.

Days on plan this month:  6

Progress toward workout goal:  154/250