It’s all up to me

The scale, that is.  As you know if you have read my past few writings I “gained” 12 pounds last week.  I got back on the plan and weighed myself this morning (I know, I said I wasn’t going to until Sunday) and I have “lost” those 12 pounds.  This is during a week when I have only worked out 2 days.  Apparently my new plan needs to be NOT exercising.  Whatever!

I have learned a couple of things this week while I haven’t been exercising.  First of all, I CAN control my eating when I’m not working out.  This has always been a huge obstacle for me so it’s a big deal.  Secondly, I now know that it’s not so much if I work out or not, but if I’m busy during the after school time that keeps me on plan.  All 3 days this week when I haven’t been able to workout I have been busy from after school until suppertime.  Supper has become fairly automatic and then by the time the kids are in bed I have enough willpower to get me through the little bit of time before bed.  And third, I need to get back to lifting weights.  I skipped it this week since I missed some workouts and wanted to burn a lot of calories but I realized that when I do just cardio that I’m much hungrier than normal.

I’m hoping to have great workouts this weekend but I’m not 100% sure that’s going to happen.  Our younger son has a double ear infection and he isn’t sleeping so not only am I tired but so is my hubby and that’s not always the time to take an hour and pump iron.  I do plan, though, to catch up on what you all are up to.  Have a great weekend!

8:30

When will I learn?????  Every time I get so excited about my progress I decide to chuck everything I know that works and wing it.  So now what doesn’t make sense is that I ate probably 2 days worth of calories in the last 2 hours.

Here’s how it started.  I ate a Lean Cuisine frozen pizza for supper but when I opened the fridge to get some veggies or cottage cheese I noticed the leftover chili dogs my hubby had for supper yesterday.  Since I REALLY wanted the chili dogs I decided to forgo the veggies and eat the chilidogs.  Then all hell broke loose.  Tootise rolls, toffee, bananas w/peanutbutter (hey, that’s kind of healthy); if it wasn’t tied down it is now in my belly.

Ugggh.  But before I get too frustrated (again) let’s look objectively.  Why am I eating unconsciously?

1.  My son is sick and any illness w/him can turn serious in a short amount of time. 

2.  I’m very concerned that I’m not going to get a lot of sleep tonight.  I don’t do well when I don’t get enough sleep.

3.  I had an appt. today where they shot dye into my fallopian tubes to make sure that the procedure (basically an in-office tubal ligation) that I had this summer worked.  It did, which is good news, but it reminds me that I won’t have any more kids.  I’m ok with that decision, but as I was driving home the song on the radio was all about what a wonderful experience it is to have a new baby.

4.  I’m frustrated w/the lack of discipline at our school and had been hoping that a position would open up at one of the high schools in town.  Tonight I talked to a friend of mine at that high school and she basically told me that it’s not likely that something was going to open up.

OK, now that I have put the words down I feel a bit better.  I should know myself well-enough to know that things like this bother me but I wasn’t willing to tackle it when I got home.

So here’s where I am now.  I can’t change what I already ate but I can make better choices for the rest of the weekend.  I think next week should take care of itself b/c I’ll have a more regular workout schedule, so I’m going to think short-term.  I am done eating for tonight, even if Kyle is up most of it.  I also will stick to plan tomorrow with a hope of salvaging my weight loss for the week.

I’ll let you all know tomorrow how things went.  Thanks for holding me accountable.